SCA-stories2-msg - 11/22/09
SCA stories related between 5/1/94 and 5/1/96.
NOTE: See also the files: SCA-stories1-msg, SCA-hist1-msg, child-stories-msg, SCA-authors-msg, SCA-notables-msg, you-know-msg, vanity-plates-msg.
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NOTICE -
This file is a collection of various messages having a common theme that I have collected from my reading of the various computer networks. Some messages date back to 1989, some may be as recent as yesterday.
This file is part of a collection of files called Stefan's Florilegium. These files are available on the Internet at: http://www.florilegium.org
I have done a limited amount of editing. Messages having to do with separate topics were sometimes split into different files and sometimes extraneous information was removed. For instance, the message IDs were removed to save space and remove clutter.
The comments made in these messages are not necessarily my viewpoints. I make no claims as to the accuracy of the information given by the individual authors.
Please respect the time and efforts of those who have written these messages. The copyright status of these messages is unclear at this time. If information is published from these messages, please give credit to the originator(s).
Thank you,
Mark S. Harris AKA: THLord Stefan li Rous
Stefan at florilegium.org
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"History is a moving target that changes as fresh details are discovered, as errors are corrected, as popular attitudes shift. Historians carve the sculpture that is Truth not out of granite, but out of wet clay."
- From the preface to "The Life of Muad'Dib" in the Dune series.
-----
Newsgroups: rec.org.sca
From: MCNUTT at gateway.ce.utk.edu (Bill McNutt)
Subject: Re: And now: You Know You're In The SCA When...
Organization: University of Tennessee Division of Continuing Education
Date: Wed, 4 May 1994 02:55:37 GMT
silbrmnd at acf4.nyu.edu (The Dark Mage) writes:
>Heehee!!! My fave's are the codpieces with the squeaky toys inside...
For awhile Hasbro Toys were marketing talking X-Men dolls, that said a tagline
if you squeezed them. The Wolverine doll said "I am the best there is at what
I do. A Noble Lord who shall remain nameless is threatening to take the
mechanism out of one of those for a cod.
Newsgroups: rec.org.sca
From: Ginny Beatty <virginia.l.beatty at daytonOH.NCR.COM>
Subject: Boys and their toys (was: you know if you're a stick jock)
Organization: AT&T - GIS
Date: Mon, 2 May 1994 19:21:12 GMT
An amusing anecdote:
This past Sunday (5/1/94), after the Middle Kingdom 25th year celebration, Aasa
Sorensdottir and I visited the Chicago Art Institute. After browsing through one
of the displays, we wandered into the medieval arms and armor hall. We briefly
perused the armor and moved on to more interesting things (like the glass and
ceramics), which were in the same room as the armor.
Another friend of ours, Emrys Eustace (Broom), then arrived in the hall. He was
there just to study the armor. Baalduir of Fenix, his wife Carline and her
cousin also arrived in the hall. After some conversation, Aasa and I bid Broom
and Baalduir farewell and went on to other exhibits in the museum.
About 2 hours later, we returned to the armor display. Broom and Baalduir
>never< left the hall, and were busy passionately discussing the jousting armors
and methods of construction.
In the Museum shop, I picked up a present for Broom: a Dover edition of making a
paper cutout helmet. I thought it would be appropriate.
Happy New Year, SCA!
Gwyneth Banfhidhleir
Barony of Flaming Gryphon
Middle Kingdom
From: una at bregeuf.stonemarche.org (Honour Horne-Jaruk)
Newsgroups: rec.org.sca
Subject: You know you're in the SCA when:
Date: Fri, 06 May 94 15:31:04 EDT
Respected friends:
My program won't let me quote from the YKYITSCA post, because it's too
long for it (or something like that). But i had to comment about one of the
`urban legend' ones, because I think the real version may have been my
then-husband, Alexandre sur le mer.
A. came back from a voyage with not one single stitch of normal
clothing clean. (It doesn't happen to Merchant Marine officers as often as
it does to college students, but it does happen.) I met him with the car
packed for the event- no normal clothes along. It was dark, he was flexible;
into full silk-and-gold Elisabethan. (No ruffles, just pleated shirt edgings.)
We stopped at a truckstop for coffee and facilities. Being Alexandre,
he put on his rings, medallion, and swordbelt before entering. He came out of
the restrooms grinning ferociously.
Me: What happenned?
A.: The beerbelly at the next urinal wanted to know why I was dressed
like a queer.
Me: And you said...
A.: "My wife made it." then I -adjusted- my sword and added "And I
_don't_ like fighting _women_."
Me: (Choking on my cocoa) Can we leave now?
It almost has to be the same incident. Besides, when he chose to, A.
could produce the most convincing set of snake-eyes ever seen off a riverboat.
In the interests of accuracy, in legends as in everything-
Honour/Alizaunde
From: una at bregeuf.stonemarche.org (Honour Horne-Jaruk)
Newsgroups: rec.org.sca
Subject: Re: fun with history
Date: Mon, 09 May 94 12:37:36 EDT
jeffs at math.bu.EDU (Jeff Suzuki) writes:
> To a greater or lesser degree, experiental archeology is what
> some of our most driven SCAdians are doing.
> William the Alchymist
Conversation in my college medieval history class, 1977:
"OF course, as the caption in the book makes clear, knights couldn't actually
get out of a mailshirt alone; this illustration is fanciful, and is intended
to show how poor the knight is."
"Sir, may I use your office phone for a moment?"
"Go ahead, but remember, we've just begun class- don't take long."
(I return to class, two minutes later, and sit down & shut up.)
Twenty minutes later-
"Excuse me, sir, I'd like to return to our first topic- allegorical
versus realistic illustrations?"
"What more could possibly be said about it?"
"friend, could you come down front?"
(Friend proceeds to skin out of mailshirt in manner identical to illustration)
"Now, professor- about the `allegorical' illustration by the same
artist, of women assisting in the defense of a castle..."
...And I still got an A- . I love experimental archeology, I do, I do,
I do!
Honour/Alizaunde
Newsgroups: rec.org.sca
From: mikes at nickel.ucs.indiana.edu (michael squires)
Subject: Re: You know you're in the SCA when...
Keywords: stories
Organization: Indiana University
Date: Wed, 25 May 1994 15:59:46 GMT
This happened to me.
A largish group of us were staying at a cheap hotel for Talymar's first
coronation in Chicago. We were a reasonable walk from the feast site
(University of Chicago) and a group of about 20 started out at once. We
were all in our best garb and carrying steel; many were carrying
swords. I don't think there was anyone who did not at least have a dagger
at their waist. I was carrying a wall-hanger known in the Shire as
Watermelon's Bane from its function at summer demos.
About half way there we saw a group of young men, all dressed in the same
jackets and hats, walking toward us. We thought it was probably a street
gang, but after hurried consultation kept on walking toward them. When
the young men got to the intersection that divided our groups they
crossed over to the other side of the street. Once we had passed by,
they crossed back over to our side of the street.
--
Michael L. Squires, Ph.D Manager of Instructional Computing, Freshman Office,
Chemistry Department, IU Bloomington, IN 47405 812-855-0852 (o) 81-333-6564 (h)
mikes at indiana.edu, mikes at ucs.indiana.edu, or mikes at nickel.ucs.indiana.edu
Newsgroups: rec.org.sca
From: parkerd at mcmail.cis.mcmaster.ca (Diana Parker)
Subject: Re: You know you're in the SCA when...
Organization: McMaster University, Hamilton, Ontario, Canada
Date: Thu, 26 May 1994 08:05:52 GMT
Some few years ago, my lord and I walked down the street from an event in
an economically challenged neighbourhood in Dayton, Ohio to a grocery
store. Because it was so close we didn't bother to change out of garb.
During the three block trip multiple people crossed the street away from
our path.
When we arrived at the small grocery store, a very nervous security guard
approached and said that we couldn't take any weapons into the store. As
I knew all we had come to get, I stripped off my 3 visible & 1 hidden
blades and passed them over to Hasdrubal who would wait for me at the
front. While I was shopping, Hasdrubal was approached by 5-6 pre-teens
who asked questions about the knives & swords.
About 5 minutes into the conversation, one boy asked if he had ever had to
use any of the weapons. When he answered in the negative, the youngest
and smallest, who looked about 10 or 11, nodded knowingly and said sagely
"when you are packing that much, you don't need to use it."
We gently walked the three blocks back to the site, unmolested by anyone,
but with the determination not to make anyone too nervous.
cheers Tabitha
----------------------------------------------
Diana Parker <parkerd at mcmail.mcmaster.ca>
Security Services CUC - 201
McMaster University (905) 525-9140 (x24282)
From: locksley at indirect.com (Joe Bethancourt)
Newsgroups: rec.org.sca
Subject: Re: You know you're in the SCA when...
Date: 27 May 1994 13:22:14 GMT
Organization: Internet Direct, Inc.
A member of my Household, Sir Terans den Sjofarende, was with Phoenix PD.
As a lowly patrolman, he had to stand uniform inspection at the beginning
of each shift....an inspection that was done by a rather tight-a** serjeant.
Terry has a wicked sense of humor, so one evening he asked to borrow an
object I have.
The next inspection, Terry was quietly standing in line as the serjeant
walked down the rows. Upon seeing Terry, and the Object hung from his
belt, the serjeant goggled, took two steps back and pointed, and said,
"Wotthehellisthat?!"
Terry smiled, unhooked it and held it out to the serjeant.
"It's my mace, sir."
(the fun part is that it's a combination weapon.... .58 cal 4 bladed mace)
We have several photos of the old Locksley Monsters in shield-wall, one
of which shows Terry holding a plexiglas riot shield with POLICE across
the front.....<grin!>
--
locksley at indirect.com PO Box 35190 Locksley Plot Systems
White Tree Productions Phoenix, AZ 85069 USA CyberMongol Ltd
Newsgroups: rec.org.sca
From: rvoris at world.std.com (Rebecca A Voris)
Subject: YKYITSCA and mutated blackballing
Organization: The World Public Access UNIX, Brookline, MA
Date: Fri, 27 May 1994 17:10:51 GMT
The combination of the threads on "You know you're in the SCA when..."
and on interacting with people who do this stuff for a living
(sometimes badly, sometimes not) reminded me of something that
happened to me a while ago.
My lord wants to learn how to make shoes. He heard from someone that
an expert in historical shoes worked at Old Sturbridge Village, a
nineteenth-century recreation village here in Massachusetts. He
organized a field trip there to visit this guy and to see the place in
general. Now it turns out that if you simply show up with a large
enough group, they will give you a group discount, but in order to
find this out he wrote to them to tell them we were coming.
After we visited the shoemaker, we all went our separate ways. I was
wandering through one of the houses, and saw a woman sewing a shirt.
So I went up to ask her about it. We talked about stitches and cloth
and patterns for a while. Then she said to me, "You must be one of
the people from the SCA." I was mildly boggled; I had chosen to play
tourist, and wasn't even wearing an SCA-related T-shirt. Apparently,
nobody else asks those kind of questions, and since she knew we were
coming she put two and two together.
Godith Anyon
(Not a sewing weenie. Doesn't everybody ask these questions?)
Carolingia (Boston)
From: timsmith at oasys.dt.navy.mil (Tim Smith)
Newsgroups: rec.org.sca
Subject: Re: Know your an Old Timer in SCA when?
Date: 2 Jun 1994 21:50:45 GMT
Organization: David Taylor Model Basin
Poklon k Rialtogradu ot Timofeya Ivanovichya!
Another Old-Timer's moment:
As I was gently flirting with a sweet young beauty working alongside me
in the kitchen, I found out that she was:
1. less than half my age, and
2. two years older than I was when I first joined the SCA.
Tempus fugit....
Dosvedanya,
Timofei Ivanovitch Ponte Alto
Atlantia
Tim Smith Code 522 CD/NSWC Bethesda, MD 20084 (301)227-1312
From: ALBAN at delphi.COM
Newsgroups: rec.org.sca
Subject: old timers
Date: 1 Jun 1994 20:10:24 -0400
Organization: the internet
two stories, actually, of which one is an old-timer line....
1) there's a young lady i often saw at pennsic; after seeing
her regularly after 4 or 5 wars, we finally got to talking. she is
now in college; i discovered, when we finally got together, that she'd
been born about a month before i joined the sca. <creak><groan>
2) married in the sca, version 7: there was an event in three rivers, oh
ten years ago or so, when cloved fruit was semi-popular. a friend
of mine, mistress morganna,knew these two relative newbies who she
thought might like each other. she inttroduced
one to the other, explained the clove fruit routine, gave them one,
and left them alone. apparently, two hours later, when we had to
leave the site, the couple was still exchanging the fruit.
they're married, now, and have been a good couple since the cloves.
(hmmm, does this mean the cloves cleaved them one to the other?)
okalban, who actually sleeps now, because the whipporwills seemed finally
to have shut up!
From: meg at tinhat.stonemarche.org (meg)
Newsgroups: rec.org.sca
Subject: Re: Cannon (Pennsic Bell)
Date: Wed, 15 Jun 94 17:05:54 EDT
Organization: Stonemarche Network Co-op
And then there was the morning I was camped next to the cannon at Pennsic
16. We were sound asleep, snug in our sleeping bag, Cassie (my dog) and
I. The cannon went off, and poor Cassie instantly emptied her bladder all
over the bed. Sigh.
Megan, who now sleeps far away from the artillery.
==
In 1994: Linda Anfuso
In the Current Middle Ages: Megan ni Laine de Belle Rive
In the SCA, Inc: sustaining member # 33644
YYY YYY
meg at tinhat.stonemarche.org | YYYYY |
|____n____|
From: meg at tinhat.stonemarche.org (meg)
Newsgroups: rec.org.sca
Subject: Re: Joe Newby's Name
Date: Tue, 21 Jun 94 13:49:12 EDT
Organization: Stonemarche Network Co-op
hrjones at uclink.berkeley.edu (Heather Rose Jones) writes:
> meg (meg at tinhat.stonemarche.org) wrote:
> : There is a gentleman of my aquaintance from the Midrealm whose mundane
> : name is Henry Tudor.
> : Any other coincidental names out there?
> : Megan
>
> Maybe he should meet the lady out here in the Mists whose mundane name is
> Catherine Aragon ...
>
> Tangwystyl verch Morgant Glasvryn
Love it!
Unfortunately, (or perhaps fortunately) he is already attached to a wife.
(not that that ever stopped his historical namesake). they were on their
honeymoon during hurricaine Gilbert on Jamaica. After the storm was over,
and I got (read here stole) (ok, appropriated without the owners
permission) busses to transport the resort's guests to a city, I finally
sat back to relax with a book. They were sitting next to me. They noticed
I was reading a SF book, and asked if go to cons. No, I replied, I am too
busy going to SCA events on weekends. And they began to laugh...I KNEW
it, she said, the moment you stood up on the table and yelled "HOLD", and
the way you organized the rescue during the storm, I just knew you had to
be a scadian. No one else has that aura of absolute authority.
We have a reunion every Pennsic to remember the vacation that wasn't.
(next time I'll tell you about the jerked collie)
Megan
==
In 1994: Linda Anfuso non moritur cujus fama vivat
In the Current Middle Ages: Megan ni Laine de Belle Rive
In the SCA, Inc: sustaining member # 33644
YYY YYY
meg at tinhat.stonemarche.org | YYYYY |
|____n____|
From: mordraut at bga.com (Mordraut Freyulf)
Newsgroups: rec.org.sca
Subject: Re: Master Iolo?
Date: 28 Jun 1994 12:16:54 GMT
Organization: Real/Time Communications - Bob Gustwick and Associates
mondschein at delphi.com wrote:
: Is that the same fellow from the "Ultima" games? I've always wondered
: that.
: Weird thing: My lady whistled a bar of song in the car as we were
: returning from the Renn Faire. I whistled the next bar. Then we both looked
: at each other and realized that it was "Stones," which is a song from the
: Ultima games, credited (in the game) to "Iolo FitzOwen." Weird, huh?
:
: --Tristan
Don Shomino, MKA Richard Garriott, AKA Lord British, creator of Ultima
based some of the characters on people in the SCA, most of whom live(d)
in the Barony of Bryn Gwlad. Master Iolo is both a crossbow maker and a
bard, and he does look like the computer version. He tells a story about
a young person coming up to him with the following questions:
KID: You're Iolo, right?
IOLO: Yes I am.
KID: Your a bard?
IOLO: Yes I am.
KID: And you make crosbows?
IOLO: Yes I do.
KID: So you based your persona on the Ultima character, right?
|----------------------------------------------------------------------------|
| Mordraut Freyulf | So what is a 13th Century Mongol doing | Dark Horde |
| mordraut at bga.com | Riding down the Information Superhighway | Moritu
|----------------------------------------------------------------------------|
From: locksley at indirect.com (Joe Bethancourt)
Newsgroups: rec.org.sca
Subject: Re: A slightly wacky YKYITSCA
Date: 1 Jul 1994 16:27:14 GMT
Organization: Internet Direct, Inc.
I like knives....I tend to get crazed sometimes in my Cavaliers and wear
several of all sizes about my body.
One afternoon in a grocery, a mundane asked me "Why all the knives?"
I pointed to the lacing on my Lady Wife's gown and said:
"Zippers."
--
locksley at indirect.com PO Box 35190 Locksley Plot Systems
White Tree Productions Phoenix, AZ 85069 USA CyberMongol Ltd
Newsgroups: rec.org.sca
From: Nate Schroeder <neschr at ccmail.monsanto.com>
Subject: Re: Urban Legends
Organization: Monsanto Company
Date: Wed, 24 Aug 1994 22:16:24 GMT
One I heard told of some Three Rivers folks, before I joined (in AS 12) -
Arwyn, Jason d'Westershire, and another (Lloyd?) were bored one evening, and
decided to go trolling in Forest Park for muggers. (FYI: Arwyn is quite
beautiful, VERY well built, and I think I'm safe because I don't think she
reads the Rialto.) Arwyn strolled apparently alone through the dark park; the
men followed at a certain distance, not obviously "with" her. She was accosted
twice that evening; both times, of course, the men rushed to her aid. One of
the times, the assailant was still standing when they got there. (Arwyn is
also VERY dangerous.)
--not ADVOCATING this behavior, but it's an entertaining story...
On a related thread, Geoffrey writes:
> But I see little heroism in fighting someone, dregs though they might be,
> over a matter of perhaps a hundred dollars.
Agreed; there are more entertaining ways of thwarting them. I have been
accosted at gunpoint and had my money demanded of me. I replied that I was
carrying no wallet. He asked what that bulge was in my coat pocket; I produced
and offered him my mitten (he declined). Presently he left; I retained the $90
I was carrying.
Harald of Bears'Haven
Three Rivers
Calontir
From: dmontuor at telenet.com (Dave Montuori)
Newsgroups: rec.org.sca
Subject: Yang Stories & other urban legends
Date: 22 Aug 94 13:32:51 GMT
Organization: Alcatel Data Networks
Astridhr, eka Ercil C. Howard-Wroth <ercil at astrid.UUCP> wrote:
>It happened that a fellow SCAdian wished to contact Yang via
>farspeaker and did not have the correct number or Yang's mundane
>name. But he called information anyway. The operator was a bit
>surprised by the name...
And asked El of Two Knives "Are you *sure* sir?" several times
(El asked for "Nauseating, Yang T." if I remember the story aright)
before repeating the name out loud, at which point...
>to which a fellow operator replied `I know him!' and gave the other
>operater the correct mundane name and the number was forthwith
>rendered unto Yang's Friend.
Arval must know this story better than I do, so corrections (if
necessary) are invited.
The "I'll see you six and raise you thirty" story dates from a
time when it would have been *extremely* unusual for a garden
variety mugger to carry a gun, even in New York City (the setting
for the version I first heard).
Evan
dmontuor%telenet.UUCP at uunet.uu.net
From: folo at prairienet.org (F.L. Watkins)
Newsgroups: rec.org.sca
Subject: Re: Yang Stories & other urban legends
Date: 23 Aug 1994 00:00:09 GMT
Organization: University of Illinois at Urbana
As I recall, Bob had "Nauseating, Y.T." listed in the phone book
in Ann Arbor for some time, although that may have postdated
El's attempt to contact him.
There was a letter that arrived successfully after being addressed
only as "Snakepit, Ann Arbor..." (Snakepit was the name of Yang's
house; it was sort of a waystation for a number of Scadians thru
the years, since Bob--no matter what other faults he had--was
notoriously generous; I spent a few days there en route to and
from Pennsic II. It was cluttered and unclean, with books, knives,
magazines and cat feces scattered about, a pagan alter in the
attic (termed a halloween prop generally, since the SCA was not
so pagan tolerant in those days) and an absolute dearth of eating
utensils in the kitchen although Bob bragged that he was within
three feet of a weapon anywhere in the house.)
Yrs, Folo
--
Damin de Folo - F.L.Watkins - folo at prairienet.org
Baron Wurm Wald (MidRealm) - Commander Baldwin's (NWTA)
From: kkozmins at mtholyoke.edu (Kim C Kozminski)
Newsgroups: rec.org.sca
Subject: Re: Urban Legends
Date: 26 Aug 1994 04:46:12 GMT
Organization: Mount Holyoke College
In reference to the "chain-mail" legend:
Since you need names, the name I have is Master Knut, and he had
just finished his first rivetted hauberk. He decided to wear it out to
"see how it felt" under a fatigue jacket. He went to a favourite
neighborhood bar, and was having a drink, when a bar fight erupted about
him. A battered man came reeling out of the fight, landed against the
bar, and without thinking grabbed a bottle, smashed it on the bar and
punched the jagged edge into Knut's chest. The bottle crumbled, and as
the man gaped in astonishment, Knut cried, "It works!" , punched out the
man's lights (Knut benchpressed over 500 lbs.), and left the bar .
Master Knut has never personally verified this to me, but he is
still active in the SCA, if anyone wants to try to contact him.
Emeric Wendel, KSCA
P.S. (from Roen) Has anyone out there actually tipped over a cow?! (Not
your best friend's room-mate's cousin, but *You* personally!!!).
From: andrixos at aol.com (Andrixos)
Newsgroups: rec.org.sca
Subject: Weirdness ratings
Date: 23 Aug 1994 22:54:03 -0400
Organization: America Online, Inc. (1-800-827-6364)
Dani of the Seven Wells wrote:
>Marion's best story was that at a time when a number of SCA-folk were
>living together (in the Buttery), someone came home with a World Weekly
>News article which gave twenty-two ways to tell if your neighbors were
>space aliens -- and they scored on seventeen of them. (Eg, space aliens
>don't understand Earth customs too well, and often dress strangely.
They're
>trying to repair their spacecraft, and you can often hear hammering
sounds
>from their basement. They have their own internal hierarchy. They'll
>often address each other by different names than their ostensible ones,
>when they think nobody's listening. And so forth.)
When I was President of the Medieval Re-enacment Society, the student
"front"
group on the University of Missouri Campus, I received a mailing regarding
policies against hazing. Loosely interpreted, we failed about 7 of the
ten categories. Some that I remember most explicitly:
I. No physical violence (Fighting)
II. No outlandish clothing (Garb)
III. No long road trips (Events)
IV. No attempts to alter identity (Persona)
There were several other examples. I did not report the organization as
violating the campus policy, and they never asked. (The Student
government did however buy us new shop equipment, pay for our newsletter
and a tune-up on the shire sewing machine.)
Andrixos Seljukroctonis
From: Maryanne.Bartlett at f56.n105.z1.fidonet.org (Maryanne Bartlett)
Newsgroups: rec.org.sca
Subject: Urban Legends
Date: Tue, 30 Aug 1994 01:54:00 -0800
In article <33dg03$8ua at panix2.panix.com>,
Josh Mittleman <mittle at panix.com> wrote:
>I've tracked back stories sufficiently well to pin down some original
>incidents. What I'd really like to see here are more first- or second-hand
>accounts. Did it happen to you? Did you hear the tale from the person to
>whom it happened (and do you trust that it was accurately told)?
I've a first-hand account of a long ago and far away place.
Somewhere in Atlantia, north of Storvik, in a place that goes by the
mundane name of Baltimore, there used to be a tavern called the
Purple Hippopotamus. This was a good bar to go to in garb because no one
there would look askance at those in real clothing. (the local gay bar,
BTW) Also, none there would bother ladies who came in accompanied by other
ladies rather than escorted by lords.
It chanced that one evening a group that I had been with, had been
practicing with quarterstaves and, feeling bruised and thirsty, we decided
to go get a beer or so and have a rest and maybe dance a bit, before
going home for the night. While we were within, a local redneck group
decided to lie in wait outside the door to "bash some fags" (their words,
spoken later to the constabulary).
Some of us needing to beat the curfew, still, we headed out the
door at a reasonable hour. The night being wet and windy, I suppose that
the villiens can be excused for not noticing that our group included
several ladies. They set upon us with large clubs (i.e.baseball bats) and
morningstars with neither ball nor handle (i.e.tire chains). They were
surprised in their turn for their expectation of beating on those who
would scream and run (nobody in *that* bar! They were pretty clueless!)
were proved groundless, immediately.* Staves proved *much* longer than
their clubs and as we'd been practicing using the staves to disarm those
with flail and/or morningstar... (Hey, this is '76 and we were all into
D&D!) I know that one of them lifted off the ground as I got him from
below with a staff at full length of swing. (satisfying, that!)
We left before the watch arrived, called by those within. None of
them still stood. I understand that at least one villien had to be taken
to the hospital and that there was much groaning and moaning to be heard
from the constabulary wagon.
--Anja--(I'm usually pretty gentle, but their attitude offends me still!)
*(This was right at the height of the anti-gay yowlings in 1976. It was
pretty common then, for anyone who looked targetable, gay or not, to be
set upon by one of these groups. One of the profs landed in the hopsital
and he was Catholic and had 14 kids!)
... The SCA: A Dream to some, a Knight-mare to others.
From: Cynthia.Ley at f56.n105.z1.fidonet.org (Cynthia Ley)
Newsgroups: rec.org.sca
Subject: Re: Urban Legends (An Tir)
Date: Wed, 31 Aug 1994 20:12:00 -0800
A number of years ago, in the early days of AnTir, my lord husband
was squired to a great knight and Viscount of the land. He and members of
their Shire, as was their wont, went unto a pizza parlor after an event one
evening. The good Viscount excused himself from table and made his way to
the luxury of the indoor privy. Having once relieved himself, he opened the
door and came face to face with a knife and an oddly dressed
knave demanding all his money. The good Viscount raised his arm as if to
stretch, reached behind his back and pulled out his 5' long greatsword. The
knave broke the window in his frenzied attempt to flee.
One for the "Now THAT'S a knife" collection long before the phrase
became popular.
New to the Rialto,
HL Arlys o Gordon,
Dragon's Mist
Newsgroups: rec.org.sca
From: rzex60 at email.sps.mot.com (Jay Brandt)
Subject: Re: Urban Legends (An Tir)
Organization: The Polyhedron Group
Date: Thu, 1 Sep 1994 19:29:35 GMT
In article <778403702.AA00741 at jina.rain.com>,
Cynthia.Ley at f56.n105.z1.fidonet.org (Cynthia Ley) wrote:
> A number of years ago, in the early days of AnTir, my lord husband
> was squired to a great knight and Viscount of the land. He and members of
> their Shire, as was their wont, went unto a pizza parlor after an event one
> evening. The good Viscount excused himself from table and made his way to
> the luxury of the indoor privy. Having once relieved himself, he opened the
> door and came face to face with a knife and an oddly dressed
> knave demanding all his money. The good Viscount raised his arm as if to
> stretch, reached behind his back and pulled out his 5' long greatsword. The
> knave broke the window in his frenzied attempt to flee.
>
> One for the "Now THAT'S a knife" collection long before the phrase
> became popular.
>
> New to the Rialto,
> HL Arlys o Gordon,
> Dragon's Mist
But Arlys, dear friend, Viscount Sir Auden Ulaffson the Red is such a
-gentle- soul. (heh heh) For those who would get a clear picture of what
the not-so-gentle man with the knife beheld, the Viscount in question is
about 6'4" tall, 220 pounds, with longish dark hair and a full beard. Could
have easily stepped out of a Viking movie, so long as you aren't stuck on
the idea of all Vikings being blond. He is one of those fine folks who can
smile benignly, chuckle lightly, and make you hope to -hell- he isn't mad
at you. Though truth be known, a more kind, courteous and soft-spoken
Knight would be hard to find in all the known world.
I have heard the Viscount's account of the event from his own mouth, but a
few days after it happened, and I recall it well. My Lady, Pegasus Devona,
was also a squire to the same Viscount at the time of that incident. Not to
nay-say you my friend, but as I recall, the blade the Viscount pulled was
'Skeldebitter' (skull-biter), a Viking broadsword at least 36 inches in
length and 3.5" to 4" wide at the base of the blade. Impressive, but not a
greatsword. No doubt however that it looked a mile long to the creep with
the knife.
The knife, incidentally, dropped to the floor of the privy with a clatter
as the would-be felon fled. The Viscount calmly picked it up and gave it to
his wife afterwards, a few minutes later, saying simply. "Here dear. Have a
souvenier." No bravado over the incident. Actually, it took us several days
to get him to tell us the whole of it, as he's rather modest.
Do write to Pegasus and I, Arlys. It's been some time since we've seen each
other, and I'm sure my Lady would enjoy hearing from you, and from her
brother squire, your lord husband. It's been almost a year and a half since
we were last in An Tir, and I for one would like to know how our friends in
your area are faring.
Should I recount the tale of how I met my Lady? (The maiden, the three
knaves, and the crossbowman who came to her aid - I'm sure you recall it).
It does sort of fit into the same vein.
--
Regards, Jay Brandt --- Austin, Texas, USA --- <rzex60 at email.sps.mot.com>
Motorola, SPS Sector, Advanced Products Research and Development Labs
In the SCA, HLS Jason of Rosaria, JdL, GdS, AoA --------- (Member # 3016)
Owner / Designer / Craftsman ------------------------- Bear Paw Woodworks
From: salley at niktow.canisius.edu (David Salley)
Newsgroups: rec.org.sca
Subject: Re: Urban Legends
Date: 4 Sep 94 15:02:04 GMT
Organization: Canisius College, Buffalo NY. 14208
Josh Mittleman <mittle at panix.com> wrote:
>I've tracked back stories sufficiently well to pin down some original
>incidents. What I'd really like to see here are more first- or second-hand
>accounts. Did it happen to you? Did you hear the tale from the person to
>whom it happened (and do you trust that it was accurately told)?
A pair of tales heard from the gentle to whom they happened. We were
attending an event in Stormsport. My lady wife went outside for a cigarette,
when I went to join her, I heard the gentle telling these stories, alas,
I never got his name.
Background: he lives in an apartment that is laid out roughly circular,
that is, if you keep going from room to room you can end up back where you
started. The fire escape is outside the room with the stone fireplace.
He has a fairly extensive weapons collection.
One day he heard a scraping noise coming from the room. He peeked in and
saw a burglar on the fire escape trying to jimmy the window open with a
butter knife. He took a Japanese horseman's sword from his collection and
went upstairs to the apartment directly above his. He knocked on the door,
his neighbors opened it, and he said, "Hi, just passing through, I need to
use your fire escape." and stepped out their window onto the fire escape
one floor above the burglar. He snuck down, and assumed a kata position
directly behind the burglar who was so intent on jimmying the window that he
was oblivious to what was going on behind him. After waiting a minute, and
realizing the guy wasn't aware of him, he cleared his throat. *ahem!* The
guy turned around and raised his butter knife overhead as if to stab whoever
was behind him. He turned and found himself facing someone with three feet
of sharpened steel and a maniacal grin, "Yeah?". The guy dropped the butter
knife and fled down the fire escape, screaming. The fire escape was
counter-balanced so that nothing was at the first story level. You're
supposed to trip the lever and wait for the fire escape to unfold. This
isn't fast enough when you're being chased by a man with a sword. He
tripped the lever and ran out on the overhang projection. When he got past
a certain point, his own weight became part of the counterweights and the
thing operated at double speed, throwing him to the pavement, knocking him
unconscious. The scadian went back upstairs, put away the sword and called
the cops. The guy was still unconscious when they came to pick him up.
Second story; same apartment about two years later. He and his wife heard
voices coming from the room and realized someone had broken in. He quietly
telephoned the cops and then gave his wife a sword. He took a pair of
short axes and halfway around the apartment. He screamed "Kill!", hit the
lights with his elbow and he and his wife ran into the room screaming and
swinging weapons. The two burglars dropped their loot, turn and fled.
One ran into the fireplace and knocked himself out. The other dived through
the window onto the fire escape. The window was closed. When the police
arrived, they took the unconscious burglar with a lump on his head the
size of a hen's egg to the emergency room. The intern told them, "We'll
be with you in a few minutes, we got a guy in the other room that just went
through a window." One cop stays with Hen's-egg, the other goes back to
get the scadian. The cop and the scadian walk into the emergency room
and the burglar who's getting more than fifty stitches, takes one look
at the scadian and screams out, "B-B-B-battleaxe!". The cop said, "It's
nice when the victim can identify the perp, but it's wonderful when the
perp can identify the victim!" ;-)
- Dagonell
SCA Persona : Lord Dagonell Collingwood of Emerald Lake, CSC, CK, CTr
Habitat : East Kingdom, AEthelmearc Principality, Rhydderich Hael Barony
Internet : salley at niktow.cs.canisius.edu
USnail-net : David P. Salley, 136 Shepard Street, Buffalo, New York 14212-2029
From: kellogg at ucssun1.sdsu.edu (kellogg)
Newsgroups: rec.org.sca
Subject: Re: Urban legends
Date: 8 Sep 1994 15:25:27 GMT
Organization: San Diego State University Computing Services
Jill Mason (Jill.Mason at f56.n105.z1.fidonet.org) wrote:
: A legend circulating around Caid a few years ago involves Sir Frewind
: He is a martial artist and very capable of taking care of himself one
: day as he was in Los Angeles or other large So Cal city he answered a
: lady's cry for help comming from an alleywhen he went to investigate he
: was jumped my two rather burly guys (the"lady" being a decoy) they
: managed to throw him down in a corner of the alley, he reached back and
: his hand rested on a pipe about 3 feet long... The story ends there but
: according to the truth of the matter is that once he had the pipe he
: managed to save himself his belongings and his car. Hope you enjoy this
: bye Jill Blackhorse now of anTir.
Another, more humorous legend has Freewind sitting at a bus stop,
in full armor, waiting to catch a bus to a tourney. A woman sitting at the
other end of the bench just keeps staring at him. Finally, Freewind starts
yelling into his wrist, "Jim, you were supposed to drop me in the 15th
century! When the hell am I? Get me out of here!".
Avenel Kellough
From: salley at niktow.canisius.edu (David Salley)
Newsgroups: rec.org.sca
Subject: Re: Pennsic on TV
Date: 18 Sep 94 14:35:34 GMT
Organization: Canisius College, Buffalo NY. 14208
Lothar writes:
> In this case I'd be very leery of letting a camera crew into an
> SCA event unless I knew damned-well where they were from, what they were
> doing, and how they intended to portray the SCA. In addition to being much
> more intrusive, TV crews are much more likely to go for sensationalism or
> humor at our expense.
At Ice Dragon 8 (9?), a news crew was told they could film. The
camera man stepped over the list ropes into the list and turned on a rack
with _eight_ floods on it, blinding both fighters. The marshall, Lord Gavin,
now Duke Gavin, said one word, "Out." The cameraman replied, "Press. I
have a right to be here." Gavin, and his two deputies, Lord Hak (now Syr Hak)
and Lord Bear (now Viscount Bear) dropped their batons and converged on him.
(We're talking some 800+ lbs of beef on the hoof, here) The cameraman
figured they were bluffing and stayed where he was. They picked him up and
carried him out of the list, out of the hall and out of the building and
put him down. They passed the reporter running out as they walked back in.
Gavin started walking over to the autocrat to explain when the autocrat who
had seen everything merely said, "Thank you." At the post-revel that night,
we waited in dread for the evening news. It was _gorgeous film_ of fighters
and feasters that he couldn't possibly have had time to shoot. We were
puzzled by this until someone spoke out, "Hey, I wore that garb _last_ year."
We have no idea who our guardian angel at the station was.
- Dagonell
SCA Persona : Lord Dagonell Collingwood of Emerald Lake, CSC, CK, CTr
Habitat : East Kingdom, AEthelmearc Principality, Rhydderich Hael Barony
Internet : salley at niktow.cs.canisius.edu
USnail-net : David P. Salley, 136 Shepard Street, Buffalo, New York 14212-2029
From: MCNUTT at gateway.ce.utk.edu (Bill McNutt)
Newsgroups: rec.org.sca
Subject: Re: Freaking the Mundanes? But why?
Date: Wed, 19 Oct 1994 11:37:03 UNDEFINED
Organization: University of Tennessee Division of Continuing Education
In article <1994Oct14.185655.29681 at brtph560.bnr.ca> napier at b4pph17f.bnr.ca (napier) writes:
>1) Freak the Laurel: Make really beautiful garb out of polyester (I never said
> it was easy...)
The Legendary Lord Joel Dolittle, Parchment Persuivant of Meridies, has done
this to the greatest effect I have ever seen. He made a hoopelande (sp?) out
of a nursery room curtain fabric. It's primary colors were a sort of magenta
and yellow, and it was a jungle print. All covered with lions and tigers, no
bears (oh my.) And he did a GREAT job of it. He wore it to a Silver Hammer
one Friday night, and Mistress Ashley, whom you cannot get to talk nasty at
spear's point, bit her tounge until it bled.
>2) Freak the Bard: Learn Stairway to Heaven on the bagpipes.
Here in Meridies, the music for RockyTop has been know to waft above the hills.
Newsgroups: rec.org.sca
From: jgawron at hpb12262.boi.hp.com (Joe Gawron)
Subject: Re: SCADIANS LENDING A HAND
Date: Fri, 28 Oct 1994 17:58:03 GMT
Organization: Boise Site, Hewlett-Packard Co
In <783158453.AA02219 at jina.rain.com>, Suze.Hammond at f56.n105.z1.fidonet.org (Suze Hammond) writes:
> to> From: torin.ironbrow at sfnet.COM
> to> Newsgroups: rec.org.sca
> to> Organization: SF NET San Francisco's Coffee House Connection
>
> to> Greeting to the Rialto and Brendan ap Morgan:
> to> You may be intersted to know that while talking to Hillary a
> to> few months back about the Barony of Arn Hold stamping out the fire, she
>
>Hey, tell us more!
>
>No fair leaving us wondering like this!
>
Well Met!
OK, here goes, if my ##poster works this time.
The Barony of Arn Hold is nominally Boise, ID and surroundings. We have a couple of events each year up in the IMO rather lovely forests to our north. Note that we are on the edge of a desert, and the last few years have been *very* dry.
On Sunday, while packing up, one of our number noticed a flare-up from a thunderstorm the previous night. He called the alarm and the remaining able-bodied folk all went to help contain the fire, until the Forest Service could be notified, and respond. As I'm told, it took the FS an hour or so to get there, by which time the fire was pretty well under control.
The FS people got our names and where we could be reached later. Some months, (4?) our seneschal got this nice letter thanking us for our help.
I wasn't there, having had some child problems the previous day and gone home, but I have seen the letter, and heard the tales. I can ask for the text of the letter, and post that if you would like more....
Joy and Health to all
Brendan
Arn Hold
>.... Moreach
From: Joe Bethancourt (7/3/94)
To: Mark Harris
RE>SCA Estrella War XI
On Sun, 3 Jul 1994, Mark Harris wrote:
> Hi Ioseph,
>
> In article <2uph8m$q8n at herald.indirect.com> you write:
> >Matthew J. Lecin (lecin at sysdev.telerate.COM) wrote:
> >: Dennis Clark <dlc at fc.hp.com> writes concerning Estrella Next:
> >
> >: More showers? 8*()
> >
> >: and appends:
> >
> >: Any ideas about what the disaster dejour should be this year?
> >
> >: How about a nice flash flood? Takes care of both requests... ;-)
> >
> >hehehe! Actually, if any gentles are intending to attend Estrella XI, I
> >would advise being ready for heat, cold, rain, wind and occasional
> >(believe it or not) snow.
> >
> >The weather in AZ in February has a remarkable tendency to be a bit ...
> >unpredictable. But it just adds to the fun.
> >
> >The flying dome tent last year -was- the best one yet, tho.
Well.......somebody didn't stake down their dome tent, and a dust devil
picked it up and played with it for about ten minutes, at heights of
about 100 feet, before dropping it again in front of Wolfetwain's camp.
Stopped the whole War (at least on the north side of the site) while
everyone watched and laughed.
locksley at indirect.com PO Box 35190 Locksley Plot Systems
White Tree Productions Phoenix, AZ 85069 USA CyberMongol Ltd
Newsgroups: rec.org.sca
From: locksley at indirect.com (Joe Bethancourt)
Subject: Re: Sca in desert storm
Organization: Internet Direct, indirect.com
Date: Mon, 19 Dec 1994 06:13:54 GMT
Bill Herron (Bill.Herron at casa.ima.infomail.com) wrote:
: -=> Quoting Jari James to All <=-
: Greetings, Rowan!
:
: JJ> [who got to take a war banner of the Barony with Her done in
: JJ> desert subdued colors ... and *boy*, didn't that confuse
: JJ> the Army.......]
: Are >you< the one who got that started? (And I thought it was an SCA
: legend...)
: A friend of mine, who was with the medical groups near King Kahlid, told
: me that he keep seeing SCA-style armory displayed around him. He even
: relayed a story about some of the forward Army units carrying SCA-style
: devices in desert camouflage during the march. But that part was
: many-personed (as opposed to first- or second-person...)
: Ld. William FitzBubba
: Namron, Ansteorra
If you attend Estrella War, ask to see the Barony of SunDragon's Kingdom
Ensign.....and read the yellow ribbons attached thereon.
It was there.
--
locksley at indirect.com PO Box 35190 Locksley Plot Systems
White Tree Productions Phoenix, AZ 85069 USA CyberMongol Ltd
Newsgroups: rec.org.sca
From: locksley at indirect.com (Joe Bethancourt)
Subject: Re: Apocryphal Stories
Organization: Internet Direct, indirect.com
Date: Sat, 31 Dec 1994 17:38:15 GMT
Corrie Bergeron (corrie at solutions.solon.com) wrote:
: Speaking of crowd control, a young squire in Houston joined the police.
: One day in nightstick class (this was before they switched to tonfas, and
: were just using batons) our hero was not paying very close attention.
: After all, he KNEW how to use a short sword! The instructor noticed and
: called him up. "Yew seim nawt tuhbe payin vahry close attention, sun.
: Here. Yew jus' TRAH tuh hit me with this here stick." "You really want
: me to hit you, Sarge?" "Thayets whut ah said, sun." "OK, sir." And the
: young man faked to the leg and tapped the seargant on the back of the
: head with a wrap shot. "SHEEAIIT! Trah thet agayin!" "Yes, sir." And
: he did so. "Sheeyayit, sun. Yew kin teach this class." And he did.
Heh! Back a few years ago, I and my good friend Baron Sir Ivanof von Schloss
were partners as Juvie Probation officers. All POs were required to take
a class in 'self-defense,' and we rather enjoyed it...and then came the
session on defense against knives.....the instructor asked for two volunteers
to attack him with rubber knives, so Ivanof and I volunteered. He went right,
I went left, and we promptly killed him.
He looked at us kinda funny, and said "Do that again." So we did.
We wound up helping to teach that session of the class.
Funny part was, we asked him later if he knew Officer <N> of the Phoenix
PD, and he said "Ah...yes....are you guys in that medieval group too? I
shoulda known!"
--
locksley at indirect.com PO Box 35190 Locksley Plot Systems
White Tree Productions Phoenix, AZ 85069 USA CyberMongol Ltd
From: salley at niktow.canisius.edu (David Salley)
Newsgroups: rec.org.sca
Subject: Re: Apocryphal Stories
Date: 1 Jan 95 18:46:08 GMT
Organization: Canisius College, Buffalo NY. 14208
Ioseph of Locksley (Joe Bethancourt) writes:
> Corrie Bergeron (corrie at solutions.solon.com) wrote:
> : [Story of SCAdian police cadet deleted for space ]
> [Additional story of SCAdian probation officers also deleted for space ]
The police cadets were told, at the end of baton class, to practice hitting
the dummies. "Don't worry about hitting them too hard, they're unbreakable."
Cadet James Elliot waited in line, took his turn, and with the wristsnap
that won him two Crown Tournies, Barak Elandris Duke Sir Hanno von Halstern
separated the dummy's head from his neck. The instructor turned at the sound
of the head rebounding off the far wall. "What did you do?" "I just hit it,
Sir." "You can't break them like that with just the baton, Liar!"
**wristsnap!** The dummy's left arm also went flying. The instructor stood
there dumbstruck. "Don't teach the others how to do that, please!"
- Dagonell
SCA Persona : Lord Dagonell Collingwood of Emerald Lake, CSC, CK, CTr
Habitat : East Kingdom, AEthelmearc Principality, Rhydderich Hael Barony
Internet : salley at niktow.cs.canisius.edu
USnail-net : David P. Salley, 136 Shepard Street, Buffalo, New York 14212-2029
From: JARI.JAMES at rook.wa.com (jari james)
Newsgroups: rec.org.sca
Subject: Re: Apocryphal Stories
Date: Sat, 31 Dec 1994 22:18:54 GMT
Organization: Knight-Line! (206) 565-0594
-=> Quoting Lee at bio-3.bsd.uchicago.ed to All <=-
Le> So there's this male Eastern fighter who happens to be a nurse.
Le> He only has a motorcycle, so he wears his armor to go to some event.
Le> On the way he sees an accident, and stops. Imagine the injured
Le> woman who looks up and sees a "Knight in Shining Armor" (tm) running
Le> down the hill to her overturned car saying "it's OK, I'm a nurse!"
Le> Winifred de Schyppewallebotham
I can identify with this one. I wasn't in armour, but I was in garb.
The patients tolorated things quite well. The *police* on the other
hand......
I think it might have been because I had a bigger knife than they did.......
Rowan [a seme' of medical initials go here...
Subject: Re: Apocryphal Stories
Newsgroups: rec.org.sca
From: kwilliam at kbbs.com
Date: Wed, 04 Jan 95 10:22:57 EST
Organization: KBBS - Internet & Files via Satellite
*more along the lines of semi-apocryphal "SCA Duke and the Police
Department"....
This one made the rounds of Caid a few years ago. Seems that when Duke
Hanno 'turned out' of the Academy as a bona-fide LAPD rookie, he got
hisself trapped in a dead-end alley with nowhere to go but through the
perp rapidly advancing on him. The perp grinned evilly and drew a
longish knife, however Hanno immediately snatched the riot stick off his
belt and laid the dude out with a well placed rising snap.
And upon writing up his report on the incident was promptly chewed out
by his superior officer as LAPD guidelines in this instance required him
to *draw his gun and shoot the guy with the knife*. Escalation is
regarded very dimly by the Los Angeles Police Department.
ciorstan macAmhlaidh, CHA, AoA
Lyondemere, Caid
From: mchance at crl.com (Michael A. Chance)
Newsgroups: rec.org.sca
Subject: Re: Identification Friend/Foe
Date: 13 Jan 1995 07:32:28 -0800
Organization: CRL Dialup Internet Access
Hal Ravn writes:
>Locally, one of our people works for a company that inspects and
>tags equipment. At one war the armor inspection stickers were
>orange and said "Rejected" on them....
There was an event a couple of years ago in the Shire of Riviere
Constelle (Evansville, IN) commemorating the Battle of Stamford
Bridge, where all of the fighters in the Norse side got stickers that
said "Grade A Sausage", placed on the helm by the Queen herself.
Mikjal Annarbjorn
--
Michael A. Chance St. Louis, Missouri, USA "At play in the fields
Work: mc307a at sw1stc.sbc.com of St. Vidicon"
Play: mchance at crl.com
From: salley at niktow.canisius.edu (David Salley)
Newsgroups: rec.org.sca
Subject: Re: Discussion about the SCA
Date: 24 Jan 95 20:56:32 GMT
Organization: Canisius College, Buffalo NY. 14208
Edward (Mark A. Cochran) writes:
> salley at niktow.canisius.edu (David Salley) writes:
>>Agnes of Ilford (Patricia Shanahan) writes:
>>> JPilcher at msmail.radisys.COM (Jim Pilcher) writes:
>>>> agility, which sorts for intelligence and good self esteem
>>> I had never heard before of the idea that manual dexterity is a measure
>>> of IQ. Considering my degree of manual dexterity, if that were valid I
>>> would be in need of special education.
>>Hey, waitaminnuit! I kinda like the idea. All of us jugglers would be
>>rightfully acknowledged as geniuses! ;-) ;-) Of course, if I'm so bright,
>>why do I practice juggling live steel? ;-)
> Because there is no correlation between intelligence and wisdom?
> Or perhaps you're just hoping to be the first ever to have his fingers
> reattached in the field, using only medieval tools? (Now, how would I
> best document this for our A&S people?)
Funny you should mention that...
At the Hael's Masked Ball event, I was practicing my juggling outside near
where the smokers were. There's a Viking who has learned enough juggling
to steal balls from the juggler and return them. 'Of course I steal, I'm a
Viking, it's in the job description!" He was standing there smoking and
out of the corner of his eye, he saw me juggling an apple. He put out his
cigarette against his shoe sole and came racing towards me. He raised his
hands to the clutch position and stopped as if he hit glass wall. I was
juggling an apple ... and an egg ... and live steel with a six-inch blade. ;-)
He pulled his hands back, looked at his fingers and said, "No, I don't think
so. I don't want the Chirurgeons re-attaching them using only period
techniques." The smokers all started laughing. ;-) As he walked away from
me, I heard a lady's voice, "Dagonell, that's not a _real_ blade is it?"
I caught the knife in my right hand, the egg in my left and then turned the
knife point up and the apple impaled itself on the blade. The applause was
wonderful. ;-)
- Dagonell
SCA Persona : Lord Dagonell Collingwood of Emerald Lake, CSC, CK, CTr
Habitat : East Kingdom, AEthelmearc Principality, Rhydderich Hael Barony
Internet : salley at niktow.cs.canisius.edu
USnail-net : David P. Salley, 136 Shepard Street, Buffalo, New York 14212-2029
Newsgroups: rec.org.sca
From: hlf at holmes.acc.Virginia.EDU (H L. Falls)
Subject: Re: YKYITSCAW......
Organization: University of Virginia
Date: Tue, 14 Mar 1995 16:47:38 GMT
In article <19950313151846UDSD073 at DSIBM.OKLADOT.STATE.OK.US>,
Mike Andrews <udsd007 at dsibm.okladot.state.ok.us> wrote:
>YKYBITSCAALLT when
>
>You're at work, a salesman calls on the phone to sell you some lab
>equipment, and you respond with "Good morning, Your Majesty!" -
>because you recognize his voice. And then _he_ says "Good morning,
>Your Excellency!" because he recognized yours.
>
>It happened to our Baroness.
>
>--
>udsd007 at ibm.okladot.state.ok.us (192.149.244.136)
>Michael Fenwick of Fotheringhay, O.L. (Mike Andrews) Namron, Ansteorra
This reminds me of an old tale... Many years ago, when Sir Alaric
was King of the East, he chanced (in mundane guise, of course) to attend
a Banking Seminar at the local University. It further chanced that his
waitress one night happened to be a Lady of the shire, who promptly
dropped a curtsey and bid him "Good evening, Your Majesty!", then left
him to explain to a table-full of banking executives just what _that_
was all about! :-)
--Landi
From: uratlord at mcl.ucsb.edu (Mark Stoddard)
Newsgroups: rec.org.sca
Subject: YKYITSCAW...
Date: 12 Apr 1995 23:31:19 GMT
Organization: University of California, Santa Barbara
One day I decided to buy some steel to make a new helm. I called around
to find a place that carried 14 guage steel. One of the calls went
something like:
Me: I'm looking for some sheet metal...
Shop clerk: We've got a wide range of guages, 24, 22, 20 and 18.
Me: Well, I was looking for 14 guage.
Shop clerk: What are you making, armor?
A few days later I was traveling by train back home, carrying my armor of
course. I put down my bag to rest with a slight clank. Somebody near by
asked me, "What do you have in there, armor?"
Hmm... They were both suprised to find out they were right...
Dreaming in a mundane world,
Milan Ivanovich
Shire of Isles, Caid
From: jfoxdavis at aol.com (J FoxDavis)
Newsgroups: rec.org.sca
Subject: YKYITSCAW
Date: 18 Apr 1995 14:33:49 -0400
Organization: America Online, Inc. (1-800-827-6364)
You spend the two days without power after an earthquake dining on
leftover tourney or banquet munchies that were _still_ in the ice chest
Monday morning anyway, and have no problems with no power, because you've
got enough propane for the barbeque and blankets. cloaks, etc for the
bed., and light's no problem because of the plethora of candle lanterns,
and you've stockpiled enough water for the war next month already, so you
drink that......
Jared, in Caid, who lived through the Northridge quake....
Jim Fox-Davis |Whatever you can do, or dream
Circle of the Spiral Tower |you can, begin it, for boldness
J FoxDavis at aol.com |has genius, power, and magic in
J.FoxDavis at genie.geis.com |it -- Nietzsche
From: corrie at solutions.solon.com (Corrie Bergeron)
Newsgroups: rec.org.sca
Subject: Re: YKYITSCAW...
Date: 19 Apr 1995 06:48:09 GMT
Organization: Solutions Online
Thomas Hudson (hudson at cs.unc.edu) wrote:
: >In article <3momjn$e1 at giga.bga.com>, J'lynn Yeates <jyeates at bga.com> wrote:
: >>... true "creative anachronism" is getting to a fighting tourney on two
: >>wheels (been a while though)
: ... when it's your muscles powering the wheels!
Long time back, a fellow name of Tivar (now Master Don Tivar,
thank-you-very-much!) used to ride his bicycle to swash practice in
Austin, TX. tights, Doublet, cape, and using the rapier to fend off the
neighborhood dogs.
Later, he was engaged by a local repertory company to stage the fight
scenes in a Shakespeare production. After one dress rehearsal he was
loading up the microbus (he was single atthe time), and a fellow comes up
to him and says, "Hey! I've been looking for you for years! You're in
the SCA, right?"
To which Chris replied with a slow, savoring smile,
"No, my good man. I'm in a play."
True story.
--
Corrie Bergeron Brendan O Corraidhe
corrie at solon.com
Newsgroups: rec.org.sca
Subject: Re: The Nature of Pennsic (Was: Leave Pennsic by Noon Sunday?)
From: una at bregeuf.stonemarche.org (Honour Horne-Jaruk)
Date: Mon, 15 May 95 18:34:39 EDT
HAROLD.FELD at hq.doe.GOV writes:
> For example, if clean up is a problem, perhaps a compromise is getting
> folks who stay later to pitch in with the clean up. I am willing to
> bet you could get a reasonable number of volunteers by *asking* for
> folks to stay a day or two as Pennsic clean-up squad. (As a side
> point, this might also give us the man-power to turn some of the stuff
> collected over to organizations like United Way. I remeber someone
> posting a rather moving scene of the workers hired to clean-up after
> Twenty-Five Year weeping over the amount of perfectly usable goods
> they were forbidden to take home (we're talking poor migrant workers
> here) because of their companies policy on scavenging.)
> Yaakov
Respected friend:
The post you are remembering was mine, but the incident occured at
the twentieth, not the twenty-fifth, anniversary. I was at TFYC; and on the
last day, as we were leaving, gnarled old men in spit-and-bailing-wire pickups
were driving in waving and grinning. I like to think that my advance letters
to the Autocrats, and article in the on-site newspaper, contributed to this
happy occurrence.
One scene I recall with particular joy: Man in old Stetson in truck,
to man in old Stetson loading parts of a Baronial gate onto other truck:
"Hey, Wiley, what on earth do you s'pose that was?"
Answer: "Got no clue what it was, but it's gonna be a room for the
twins!"
_That's_ how it should _always_ work.
Remember: your "Useless too-heavy out-of-period ugly excuse for a
sleeping bag" is some Goodwill or Salvation Army customer's "My kids won't get
pneumonia this winter!".
Please, everybody: Think about it.
Yours in service to the Society-
(Friend) Honour Horne-Jaruk R.S.F.
Alizaunde, Demoiselle de Bregeuf C.O.L. SCA
Una Wicca (That Pict)
If you are doing your best, and your best isn't very good, that's
life. If you aren't bothering to do your best, no matter how good what you're
doing is, that's cheating.
From: Kim.Salazar at em.doe.GOV
Newsgroups: rec.org.sca
Subject: YKYITSCA...
Date: 25 May 1995 11:57:46 -0400
Organization: The Internet
While I was perusing Ian Odlin's collection of YKYITSCA tales (to my
great amusement), I was surprised to find my name:
"Many years ago, Ianthe and Fernando had been practicing
in their back-yard. When Ianthe went to her doctor for a
routine checkup, he asked how she got all the bruises.
Without thinking she said, "My husband and I were
fighting." She had a hard time explaining the difference
between _fighting_ and *fighting* to her doctor. [Bjorn
Bjorklund]"
Master Bjorn's story is a concatenation of two true incidents:
1. One Monday after returning from a particularly vigorous war
practice, I had an appointment at my women's clinic. I had been using
a new smaller shield for the first time. My leading leg was a plaid
of purple stripes that showed the area I wrongly THOUGHT my shield had
covered. The doctor raised an eyebrow at the time of the exam, but
said nothing.
Shortly after that, the clinic's counselor came in and took my hand.
She looked into my eyes with understanding and deep pity, and said "We
women don't have to put up with this any more - would you like to sign
a complaint against *him*?"
2. Don Fernando, confronted by the intense cold of a Carolingian
winter, had taken to doing his evening sword practice indoors. At the
time, he lived in a very tiny garret style room in a converted attic.
I was sitting with my feet up on the arm of his venerable easy chair,
reading a book and munching an apple. He did sword cuts up and down
the four-foot length of the room, then whirled (forgetting that I was
there) and brought the wooden blade down square upon my perching toes.
The pain was so severe we trundled off to the emergency room. The
admitting interviewer asked how I was injured - "My boyfriend hit me
with his stick," I said without thinking.
"Were you fighting?" she asked, glaring at Fernando.
"No. Just practicing," he answered innocently.
She turned to me, rolled her eyes, and replied, "Honey, I don't want
to see what happens when you get it right."
-Ianthe d'Averoigne, OR, OL kim.salazar at em.doe.gov
Who married Count Fernando, in spite of
the Unfortunate Toe Incident
From: ldwulfgar at aol.com (Ld Wulfgar)
Newsgroups: rec.org.sca
Subject: Re: YKYNISCA
Date: 2 Jun 1995 05:03:24 -0400
Organization: America Online, Inc. (1-800-827-6364)
> "Are you one uv those middle-evil guys?"
Heh. Yeah, I've heard that one. My buddy replied "No, I'm higher-evil.
He's lower-evil."
<sigh>... Yet another bad PR incident :^)
Also loved was the guy yelling at us (on our way back from fight practice)
to "Wake up! It's the ninteenth century, ya know!" (ROTFLMAO!)
Lord Wulfgar Silberber
From: CHRISTINE_McGLOTHLIN at sagepub.COM (CHRISTINE_McGLOTHLIN)
Newsgroups: rec.org.sca
Subject: Flying domes (We're not in KS anymore...)
Date: 10 Jul 1995 18:57:23 -0400
Organization: The Internet
Bart l'Wolfe [Cary Riall <criall at indirect.com>] writes:
> does anyone remember the flying dome at Estrella two or three
> years ago? It stopped the field battle cold while we watched it
> rocket fully two hundred feet in the air, spilling shorts and
> tunics the whole time. We applauded as it crashed, and as if in
> answer, it zoomed up again.
(confirming: two Estrella's ago, 1994)
There was a large group of us in the Heralds' Consulting Tent at the
time. We heard this incredible cheer (presumably every fighter out on
the war field) and looked outside to see the flying dome tent.
Someone noticed a heraldic banner still attached to the dome and
heralds started trying to identify owner of the dome by the emblazon!
I'm told there were plently of on-field comments to the effect of
"I don't think we're in Kansas anymore, Toto!"
--
Eilidh Swann of Strathlachlan * Darach Shire, Caid (Ventura, CA)
Christine (Cat) McGlothlin * Production Editor, Journals
cat_mcglothlin at sagepub.com * Sage Publications, Inc.
Quarterly sable and Or, a swan rousant wings displayed counterchanged.
Newsgroups: rec.org.sca
From: bq214 at FreeNet.Carleton.CA (Andrew C. Murdoch)
Subject: Re: Seeing Braveheart in Garb
Organization: The National Capital FreeNet
Date: Fri, 14 Jul 1995 04:38:25 GMT
When the local gentles of Seagirt went to see Braveheart in garb,one of us
got really enthusiastic and wore his mostly metal heavy fighting armour
into the show. He got a large amount of laughter and applause from the
rest of the audience when he got up to go to the bathroom during the show,
going clank,clank,clank up the aisle.
Colin of Skye
mundanely known as...
--
Hail,Centurion! "Love is that condition in which the happiness
Andrew C. Murdoch of another person is essential to your own."
bq214 at freenet.carleton.ca - Robert A. Heinlein
From: Alex_Hart at mindlink.bc.ca (Alex Hart)
Newsgroups: rec.org.sca
Subject: Re: Those Magnificent Gentles and Their Flying Dome-Tents
Date: Mon, 10 Jul 95 17:50:00 -0700
Organization: MIND LINK! - British Columbia, Canada
Sounds like crown some years ago in Lions Gate here in An Tir.
During one court, a hot air baloon floated over looking to land.
As it appeeared they might be headed towrads a swamp, alot of us rushed
from court to try and rescue them (Honestly the thought of the champagne
they supposedly carry for every trip never entered my mind - well not too
much anyhow0
Seeing the multitude of people in funny clothes running their way (and
several gentles had swords etc) they poured on the fuel and were out of
there thus spoiling my chance at helping to quaff champagne.
Sorry - make that rescue people form the swamp !
Alastair the Eastern Traveller
Lions Gate, An Tir
From: ae766 at yfn.ysu.edu (David Sanders)
Newsgroups: rec.org.sca
Subject: Re: tents blowing away was: (those darn )viking tents
Date: 19 Jul 1995 15:20:19 GMT
Organization: St. Elizabeth Hospital, Youngstown, OH
In a previous article, VUGC52A at prodigy.com (Dana Tweedy) says:
>Yurts may hold up well against winds, but I remember back at Pennsic 17
>or 18, I saw a yurt flattened by a Dodge van. The van, parked on Horde,
>hill lost its brakes early in the morning and rolled over the yurt. The
>only thing that kept it from running down the hill and flattening more
>tents was a large army surplus cooler that had been once used to hold
>human blood. Luckily no one was badly injured. There were two
>"shadows" in the grass where two dome tents had been. A set of tire
>tracks ran through both shadows.
I arrived on the scene shortly after the incident. I was staying in Horde
camp, and if I'm not mistaken it was Sunday, and people were striking camp.
I remember the laughter, because that cooler had stopped the van just short
of a still-sleeping body. From under the mass of wood and canvas was heard:
"I've just got to get a new wake-up service!"
Vajk
ae766 at yfn.ysu.edu
P.S. That quote is from the people who were there. As I said, I arrived
a few minutes after the incident. Unless, of course, there were more than
one such incident. People were still laughing about it when I arrived.
From: brgarwood at aol.com (BRgarwood)
Newsgroups: rec.org.sca
Subject: Re: YKYITSCAW
Date: 31 Jul 1995 12:03:53 -0400
teachmrt at aol.com (Teach Mr T) writes:
>You're on your way to an event and need a coffee.
>
>Since you are in garb, you don't stop at the local doughnut shop (you are
>after all a well-respected teacher).
My companions and I were on our way from our crash space to an event in
Silfren Mere. (Rochester, Minnesota). On the way we stopped, in garb, at
the local Mister Donut shop. The first words from the clerks mouth were .
. . . . . "Are you guys from North Dakota?"
Berwyn
Rudivale, Thats in North Dakota.
From: djheydt at uclink.berkeley.edu (Dorothy J Heydt)
Newsgroups: rec.org.sca
Subject: Clothes, no clothes, bad clothes, etc. (was: Novels)
Date: 2 Aug 1995 22:38:54 GMT
Organization: University of California, Berkeley
[Various good bad examples of OOP clothing in cover art snipped]
Countess Adrienne of Toledo (Adrienne Martine-Barnes) wrote an
excellent fantasy called _The Fire Sword_ in which the heroine
was transported to an alternate 12th century England. She spent
most of her time in T-tunics; occasionally she had a cloak; part
of the time she was stark naked (magic protected her when her hut
burnt down, but it didn't protect the clothes, see).
"But where," Adrienne wailed when she saw the cover, "where in
the entire book will you find her in a muslin bikini?"
(Maybe the artist had intended to paint her starkers and somebody
chickened out?)
There is in Berkeley a guy famous for going around starkers
whenever he can get away with it (which is not very often any
more, since the City Council passed a law against it). He came
to an SCA event once. They tell me he actually did show up in
the buff, and the Autocrat came over and told him in no uncertain
terms that this was not Berkeley, that there were children about,
and that if he didn't want to get his ass busted into jail so
fast the rest of him would have to catch up by Pony Express, he'd
better put some clothing on it.
When I saw him, Friday evening, he was wearing a loincloth and a
pair of sandals.
On Saturday I saw him in a pair of baggy pants and a pair of
sandals.
By Sunday he had added a little bolero and a hat. If we'd had
long enough to work on him, we probably could've gotten him fully
clothed.
And then he could get a job posing for covers of romance novels--
he is in fairly decent shape (gad! he'd better be). He'd better
grow his hair back in, though.
The amusing thing is that nobody tipped him off to try arguing
that nakedness is period (Adam, etc.).
As Mistress Eilis remarked to Mistress Katherine Saturday
morning, as they watched him doing calisthenics at the edge of
the Eric, "There are nudists, and then there are exhibitionists.
He's an exhibitionist."
Dorothy J. Heydt
djheydt at uclink.berkeley.edu
University of California
Berkeley
From: lila at lynx.CO.NZ (Lila Richards)
Newsgroups: rec.org.sca
Subject: In a play? (Well, not quite)
Date: 16 Aug 1995 09:47:12 -0400
Organization: The Internet
A group from the Shire of Southron Gaard had been to a performance of the
movie, "The Navigator", before which we had done a dance demo. Afterwards,
we returned to the parking building where our cars were parked, to find the
lift (ie. elevator) doors had jammed, with a lift full of shoppers trapped
inside, panicking and running short of air. With great presence of mind,
one of our fighters thrust the blade of his sword between the doors and
managed to wedge them apart a little - enough to provide some air (and a
friendly voice) until the experts arrived. Needless to say, he was the
champion of *that* event!
Caitlin ni Cumhaill na Cruachan,
Shire of Southron Gaard, Southernmost Land of the Kingdom of Caid.
________________________________________________________________________________
Lila Richards, PO Box 13715, Christchurch, New Zealand. Email: lila at lynx.co.nz
From: Ron Wood <ron>
Newsgroups: rec.org.sca
Subject: Re: YKYITSCAW
Date: 22 Aug 1995 17:51:37 GMT
Organization: CE-CERT
I was actually there for this one:
In the (then) shire of Wurm Wald (Champaigne-Urbana Illinois), at the festival
of maidens tournament, I think it was the winter of 1974-75, I had just been
qualified to fight in the SCA. On Sunday, I went to lunch with Bjorn Rigmorson
and Halfdan Greenleaf at an IHOP in town. Now Halfdan really looked the part
of a viking, with long curly hair and an enormous beard. He even had a helm
with horns (I know, but they really do look nice). Anyway, the waitress came
over to our table and asked for our orders, Halfdan, in a gruff voice said
"Meat!" The waitress, non-plussed, asked him how he would like his meat. He
made a great show of pulling a quarter out of his pouch, flipped it, then, in
the same gruff voice said, "Cooked!"
Yes, I've heard this story told back to me in many forms; it does make a very
good apocryphal story. But on my honor, I was there and witnessed it. But I
also believe that a story is a living, vibrant thing, and should grow and
flourish with each retelling. Why let truth get in the way of a good story? I
also realize that in the years since this incident, and possibly the years
before, many people have done the same thing, and spawned more "urban legends"
concerning this same story.
Wolf Egilsson aka Greywolf aka Hey You!
of the Drafn Warband, Calafia, Caid
--
Ron Wood, Systems Administrator CE-CERT, UCR
781-5788
From: holsten at nature.berkeley.edu (Donna Holsten)
Newsgroups: rec.org.sca
Subject: YKYITSCAW
Date: Thu, 7 Sep 1995 11:49:27
Organization: UC Berkeley
At the beginning of the summer I was at an event with my two dogs. I was
wearing a 16th cen German gown, complete with hat. I decided to take the
dogs for a walk in the woodsy area--we got at least about 1/2 mile from the
event area. I had let the dogs off-leash (one is a Rott, and one is a
small, black fuzzy dog) when I noticed two people on horses. The dogs are
both good with horses, but the people were giving me funny looks, so I
called the dogs to me. The people still kept looking at me, and I got
annoyed that they were angry--after all, I had the dogs under control. It
*honestly* took me *two* days to realize that the funny looks weren't
because of the dogs, but because of the garb.
Joanna (and Calvin the Rott, and Eleanora the Schipperke)
From: wwwaft at access2.digex.net (Dexter Guptill)
Newsgroups: rec.org.sca
Subject: Re: Freaking the Mundanes (was Re: "Are you in a play?" Revisited...)
Date: 5 Oct 1995 17:24:25 -0400
Organization: Express Access Online Communications, Greenbelt, MD USA
In article <DFzGMH.K39 at freenet.carleton.ca>,
Peter Thorn <aw504 at FreeNet.Carleton.CA> wrote:
[SNIP]
>...The more amusing thing, to my mind, is to try and freak the
>SCAdians....
>Lord Ouen atte Thornes de St-Helier, Called the Peevish
No #$%&, there I was. The weekend before Pennsic War Week is the
North-South Skirmish Association's (American CivWar target shooters)
Allegheny Regional Skirmish. It's on the way to Pennsic. I shot in the
musket match, then cleaned my gun, sent it home, and drove to Pennsic.
Next Scene: the Troll Booth. In walks this bozo in Confederate grays.
Numerous Scadians give him A Look. Comes the response, "Sorry about the
duds. The time machine had a layover in 1863." :-)
*** Dexter C. Guptill, Computer Services, American Fed of Teachers
*** Cmdr, 49th VA Vol Inf, CSA (N-SSA); Pvt, Hampden's Regt of Foote (ECW)
*** AKA Ld. Erich von Kleinfeld, Stierbach, Atlantia (SCA)
From: andrixos at aol.com (Andrixos)
Newsgroups: rec.org.sca
Subject: A much gentler Mormon/SCA encounter
Date: 23 Oct 1995 03:55:02 -0400
Several years ago I was attending an event in the Midrealm during the
greatest heat of summer. After cleaning up from the tourney and putting on
evening garb, I stopped by a grocery store to pick up some beer for feast.
At the register, I was in line behind two clean-cut young gentlemen
wearing suits in ninety-degree weather. I noticed the typical nametags,
as well as a football helmet tie pin with "BYU" on the stouter young man.
I put my six pack on the belt behind their gallon of milk and pack of
Oreo cookies. We stared at each other for a few seconds, and then the
thinner of the two said, with a grin,
"OK, it's obvious what we are. What are you?"
After a shared chuckle, I give the thirty second information speech,
without the recruitment section. In exchange, they did not try to talk me
into their religion. We parted, having added something to each other's
day.
Andrixos Seljukroctonis
From: Eric Jon Campbell <ejcampbe at eos.ncsu.edu>
Newsgroups: rec.org.sca
Subject: Re: YKYBOOTSCATLW
Date: Tue, 07 Nov 1995 19:21:50 -0500
Organization: North Carolina State University
Bruce Mills wrote:
> You know you've been out of the SCA too long when.....
>
> ...the first time in ages you pick up duct tape, and actually use it to
> tape ducts!
>
> Akimoya
> Ealdormere
Better yet
One of the residents in my dorm needed some duct tape. He went around
asking if anyone had any duct tape. The answer he got five times was
go ask Xavier he's a scadian he'll have it.
When asked which room was Xavier's the people answered that it was the
room down at the other end that smelled like bread baking and beer
brewing.
Amazingly enough the resident found my room and got a little scared when
he asked for duct tape and I asked him which color would he like.
(at the time I had black, red, green, brown, and traditional; I never
have been able to find the red again)
-Xavier
--
Eric Jon Campbell Sr Textile Engineering at NCSU
(alias) Xavier Campbell amateur blacksmith and brewer
From: pat at lalaw.lib.CA.US (Pat Lammerts)
Newsgroups: rec.org.sca
Subject: butterscotch
Date: 26 Dec 1995 18:48:42 -0500
>I recall some of the more rowdy folks from the Barony of Angels (might
>have been College of the Voyagers) inventing a rather untidy game, which I
>saw played at Estrella late at night a few years ago. Contestants would
>pair off - men with open shirts, women with low-cut bodices... and both
>would have chocolate pudding smeared all over their necks, shoulders, and
>upper chests. The winning (man/woman) couple was the one who managed to
>lick up every bit of pudding from each other the fastest. And they were
>doing this OUTDOORS, late on a chilly Estrella evening...
>
>Daveed the Bemused
Actually, you have the correct Barony, but the wrong sub-group.
The group you saw was House Blackrune, from the Canton of the
Canyons. The chocolate pudding lick is one of their favorite
contests and they do it whenever House Blackrune sponsors a
tavern or Lord Stromberg Blackrune brings lots of kegs of his
Strombrau. I first saw the pudding lick at the Blackrune
Tavern at Angels 20th Anniversary Celebration almost five
years ago. Even then, it apparently was not the first time
that they had done it. From what I have seen and heard, all
contestants enjoyed themselves, with no complaints about
stained garb.
Huette
From: barbanis at vnet.ibm.COM (George Barbanis)
Newsgroups: rec.org.sca
Subject: Garb in mundania (was: Fringe groups)
Date: 29 Mar 1996 02:17:48 -0500
> I would no more wear NASA coveralls to an
> SCA event than I would wear Byzantine robes and a sword to my
> modern job.
Byzantine robes and a sword? I did just that! I was asked to go install
some software at a customer site, on the last Sunday of carnival. And
early that day I put on my Byzantine robes, wore my boots, belted my
sword, threw a couple of DAT tapes in my pouch :) and off I went. The
folks at the customer site were a bit perplexed at my less-than-standard
IBM attire, but they were amused.
Alexios Macedon
(mka George Barbanis)
From: salley at niktow.canisius.edu (David Salley)
Newsgroups: rec.org.sca
Subject: Surfwatch(tm) Wipes Out!!!
Date: 4 Apr 1996 16:58:30 GMT
Organization: Canisius College, Buffalo, NY 14208
With all the pornography on the computer networks, software manufacturers
have been trying to jump on the bandwagon fast enough to sell us something.
There are now commercial monitor programs available for most PCs. One such
program is called "Surfwatch"(tm). The way it works is simple, Mom and Dad
load the program in and type in a password. Whenever someone starts pulling
files off the net, the monitor program will read the file before putting it
on the screen and if it has an "adult" words, it will ask for the password.
No password, no file.
Last week, Surfwatch(tm) decided that my heraldry letters were obscene
enough to require a password!!! We read through the letter, couldn't find
any objectionable material and decided on a brute-force solution. We tore
the letter apart and passed it through the monitor a piece at a time.
Anything Surfwatch rejected we tore into smaller pieces. The letter became
pages, pages paragraphs, paragraph lines, until after two hours we finally
isolated the offensive passage which could potentially corrupt America's
youth. ;-)
"Done by my hand, this 17th Day of March, A.S. _XXX_" !!! Don't you know
what comes after Roman Numerals? Roman Orgies! (Just check the encyclopedia
under "R" ;-) This stupid program is going to reject every heraldry letter I
write for the next ten years!
- Dagonell
SCA Persona : Lord Dagonell Collingwood of Emerald Lake, CSC, CK, CTr
Habitat : East Kingdom, AEthelmearc Principality, Rhydderich Hael Barony
Internet : salley at cs.canisius.edu (Please use this, reply may not work.)
USnail-net : David P. Salley, 136 Shepard Street, Buffalo, NY 14212-2029
<the end>