SCA-children-msg - 3/6/11

Are SCA children different from other children?

NOTE: See also the files: child-stories-msg, SCA-Sociology-art, SCA-The-Dream-msg, children-SCA-lnks, teenagers-msg, p-cook-child-art, child-kitchen-msg.

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    Mark S. Harris                  AKA:  THLord Stefan li Rous
                                          Stefan at florilegium.org
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To: Authentic_SCA at yahoogroups.com
Subject: Re: Children's activities - philosophical discussion
Posted by: "Elisabeth HÃ¤nsler" emmiewilliams at gmail.com   elisabethhansler
Date: Mon Sep 8, 2008 7:59 am (PDT)

My boys (they turn 4 and 12 next month) love dressing in comfortable 
and roomy garb and they love to attend events. I dress them in late 
13th century. 

I have found that giving them choices and keeping them involved in 
the decision making process goes a long way. (more than one tunic to 
choose from, allowing them to pick colors/patterns for tunic and 
belts, ect...)go a long way. Especially with the littlest one. He 
stole my tabletwoven belt for himself at the last event (no biggie, 
he was happy and not tripping over tall grass and tunics.) I have to 
make adjustments for the youngest with the necklines because 
brooches/pins will not cut it with his little daredevil self. 

My oldest now assists in making everything for himself (which he 
loves.) I allow the youngest to help as much as safety and patience 
will allow. 

I try to stay authentic as possible with the toys, but I do have to 
adapt some modern aspects (like his modern horse on a stick 
he "rides" around.) My oldest is at an age that he is off with other 
older children and being dragged by mom to offer service at events. 
I have a toy box that has graces, skittles, wood castle blocks, wood 
figures of people, drums and play swords. They are content playing 
all day. I watched another 3 year old this past weekend at an event 
and she was content with the toys as well. 

I try to stay as authentic as possible while keeping in mind a 
comfortable child is a happy child.

Elisabeth Hänsler 

To: Authentic_SCA at yahoogroups.com
Subject: Re: Children's activities - philosophical discussion
Posted by: "bronwynmgn at aol.com" bronwynmgn at aol.com   brangwayna
Date: Mon Sep 8, 2008 4:00 pm (PDT)

mary_m_haselbauer at yahoo.com writes:
<<I can see with my own child that as much as I want her to wear 
authentic clothing at events letting her wear something a little 
princessy makes her happy. When I was a kid with a growing interest 
in the Middle Ages I wasn't an historian yet and it was the fairy 
tale aspect that got my attention and made my eyes sparkle. 

I was just wondering how other authentically minded SCA parents walk 
this line.>>

Thus far my three-year-old son is perfectly happy to wear authentic clothing, 
especially if it looks like Daddy's :-) We have not had any issues in that 
area yet. He has a toy box that goes to events that contains only wooden or 
other "primitive" toys - he has several wool balls stuffed with fabric scraps, 
wooden pull toys, wooden knights and king and horses, wooden puzzles, etc, and 
I try to keep any books I bring to at least reasonably period topics.
My feeling at this point is that we will not let him cross over into majorly 
fantasy clothing. I think if it got to the point that he refused to wear 
appropriate clothing, he would not go to the event, but go to camp Grandma or some such instead. We have a nine-year-old girl in our local group for whom this 
has worked very well; she even wears veils and stuff, but her older 
half-sister (16), who has not been raised in the SCA as the 9 year old has, tends to much more fantasy/goth stuff. Although her parents have said that they aren't going to bring her to Pennsic again unless she does something SCA rather than just playing RPGs in the bathhouse.

Brangwayna Morgan

From: "<Brianna Talbot>" <Janna720 at AOL.COM>
To: CALONTIR at listserv.unl.edu
Sent: Tue, April 20, 2010 12:05:28 PM
Subject: Re: [CALONTIR] You know you're in the SCA when...

Is it just me, or does it seem like kids in the SCA are more mature? 
 
Brianna
 
nancee at MERMAID.HOMEIP.NET writes:
<<< Lisa Lamme wrote:
Your 13 year old son borrows bits and parts of his parents' armor, A&S projects, awards scrolls and medallions for a special language arts project at school where they are to make a speech showing and explaining something that the other kids aren't familiar with. 
 
My born into the SCA boy chose to do a demo all on his own!  And to think he went through that stage of "Aww MOM, do I HAVE to wear garb?"  I'm so proud of him. 
 
Flur' le Swan >>>

You should be proud. That's fabulous.

Yesterday our barony did a demo for my son's middle school. Malcolm wasn't the least bit embarrassed by his weird parents. :)

Magda

From: Vincent De Vere <vincent_devere at YAHOO.COM>
Date: April 20, 2010 12:20:01 PM CDT
To: CALONTIR at listserv.unl.edu
Subject: Re: [CALONTIR] You know you're in the SCA when...

We were talking about that after a demo we did last weekend for some teens.  A couple of us thought it's tied to confidence.  Especially when it comes to the pre-teen and teens.  They know they can do things, because we all try and learn and do.  They have adults who treat them as equals and they know there is a place they fit in and can contribute in a real and meaningful way.  I can think back on many students I wish I could have introduced to the SCA.

Vincent

From: Dee Thompson <lonemuse2 at YAHOO.COM>
Date: April 20, 2010 1:20:49 PM CDT
To: CALONTIR at listserv.unl.edu
Subject: Re: [CALONTIR] You know you're in the SCA when...

<<< Is it just me, or does it seem like kids in the SCA are more mature?  
Brianna >>>
 
I think it's a combination of things.
Kids in the SCA, for the most part, have a LOT of adults that they are responsible to... if the parent allows it.  (I'm sure we can all cite examples of parents who don't.)

They are taught to respect other people's stuff... you don't wander into someone else's camp and start playing, you don't walk into a demo and pick up someone else's project, not only because it's rude, but sometimes it's dangerous.
You stop when someone else says to, even if you don't see why, because you or someone else could be in danger.

You learn that when you ask an adult questions, they will answer you most of the time.

You know that there is always someone around to help you if you need it.
You are expected to return the favor, when and if you can.
You gain confidence because you are allowed to make stuff, and experience stuff for yourself, and learning for the sake of learning is encouraged even when (especially when) it's messy.

You are expected to entertain yourself and others without the aid of television, videogames, radios, and computers.  You have to FIND stuff to do, not have it catered to you.

I am not a firm believer in "it takes a village to raise a child".  That always seemed like a cop-out to me for lazy parents who don't want to control their kids, or an excuse for those who think they know what's best for your kid to butt in with their opinion on how "Ur doin it wrong".

But I do think it helps to have a Community (which is, in my mind, different from a Village) of people that kids know they are a part of and responsible to in the here-and-now, not just the virtual world.

Fionuaula

From: Michelle Heitman <michelle.m.heitman at GMAIL.COM>
Date: April 20, 2010 1:50:52 PM CDT
To: CALONTIR at listserv.unl.edu
Subject: Re: [CALONTIR] You know you're in the SCA when...

<<< I am not a firm believer in "it takes a village to raise a child".  That always seemed like a cop-out to me for lazy parents who don't want to control their kids, or an excuse for those who think they know what's best for your kid to butt in with their opinion on how "Ur doin it wrong". >>>
 
Amen to BOTH of those statements.
 
Having, now, raised three kids in the SCA (yeah...Arabella is only 15, but there are a LOT of adults who aren't even close to her level of maturity), I think the SCA provides some very group-specific reasons for the maturity of the "kids."
 
First, I think you need to start with the parents, themselves.  I'd be willing to bet that if there was a group "intelligence test" of SCA people, we, as a group, would skew FAR higher than many other random groups of people.  Intelligent, educated people tend to raise intelligent, educated children.
 
But, I think the most profound difference IS the ability of the child to participate to whatever level they wish.  You want to just hang out in a corner, and play with your Game Boy and be bored?  Okay.  We'll let you.  You want to come in the kitchen and help?  Okay.  We'll probably start you with chopping and washing, but prove yourself and you'll find your opinion being asked relatively quickly.

You want to build a bow or try illumination or ....or.....or....We'll let you do that, too.  It's all about giving the kids a CHANCE to prove what they can do.  We give them that a chance to do that, and we're fairly unusual in doing so.
 
Fiondel

From: sheryl <slniemann at GMAIL.COM>
Date: April 20, 2010 2:26:55 PM CDT
To: CALONTIR at listserv.unl.edu
Subject: Re: [CALONTIR] You know you're in the SCA when...

On Tue, Apr 20, 2010 at 1:50 PM, Michelle Heitman
<michelle.m.heitman at gmail.com> wrote:
<<< I am not a firm believer in "it takes a village to raise a child".  That
always seemed like a cop-out to me for lazy parents who don't want to
control their kids, or an excuse for those who think they know what's best
for your kid to butt in with their opinion on how "Ur doin it wrong". >>>

I have also been one of those people who know that in general in the
SCA I am not going to get blasted nor will I blast someone for pulling
someone else's kid out of a stupidity-induced situation or otherwise
harmful one. I expect that when I am not around my teen and he does
something stupid, adults around him are not going to be afraid to tell
him he needs to fix it. Even better... HE expects it, and behaves
somewhat better at SCA events than elsewhere *grin*.

Ines

From: Misty Johnson <babybadarse at GMAIL.COM>
Date: April 20, 2010 2:29:09 PM CDT
To: CALONTIR at listserv.unl.edu
Subject: Re: [CALONTIR] You know you're in the SCA when...

Actually I'd like to push that just a step further with my two cents worth. Not only do we have the opportunity for children to try all these things but the encouragement of not just the parents of the child here, but their peers as well as others they look up to in one of the friendliest and most comfortable environments possible. So to me it takes both a village AND good parenting to raise a healthy child without losing that last grip of sanity.

Kat

On Apr 20, 2010, at 1:50 PM, Michelle Heitman <michelle.m.heitman at GMAIL.COM> wrote:
<<< But, I think the most profound difference IS the ability of the child to participate to whatever level they wish.  You want to just hang out in a corner, and play with your Game Boy and be bored?  Okay.  We'll let you.  You want to come in the kitchen and help?  Okay.  We'll probably start you with chopping and washing, but prove yourself and you'll find your opinion being asked relatively quickly.

You want to build a bow or try illumination or ....or.....or....We'll let you do that, too.  It's all about giving the kids a CHANCE to prove what they can do.  We give them that a chance to do that, and we're fairly unusual in doing so.

Fiondel >>>

From: Dee Thompson <lonemuse2 at YAHOO.COM>
Date: April 20, 2010 3:54:05 PM CDT
To: CALONTIR at listserv.unl.edu
Subject: Re: [CALONTIR] You know you're in the SCA when...

<<< It's all about giving the kids a CHANCE to prove what they can do.  We
give them that a chance to do that, and we're fairly unusual in doing so.

Fiondel >>>

I just posed the question to my 16 year old who is home sick today about why SHE thinks kids in the SCA tend to be more mature.
Her response was:
"Ya know, in the SCA, kids are nurtured in a safe environment... they can walk around and do stuff, but they know if they screw up they'll be sent back to their own camp, or that people won't want them around.  So they learn to behave because they want to keep those privileges.  It's not just about what their parents want, its what makes other people want them around.
That cause and effect of what they do sticks with them when they get home... If they want to do, they've learned they have to act maturely and know their boundaries."

Thus sayeth the 16 year old, who, of course, knows all.
:-)
Fionnuala

From: Tara Foutch <tfoutch at STJOELIVE.COM>
Date: April 21, 2010 12:02:42 AM CDT
To: CALONTIR at listserv.unl.edu
Subject: Re: [CALONTIR] You know you're in the SCA when...

I'm standing on the outside looking in when it comes to parenting at least, to human children.  From the observer, it seems that we as a group treat our young people with more casual respect than children and teens receive in the modern every day world.  I believe that you have to experience respect in a hands on sort of way before you can really extend it to others.  Maybe we are seeing the result of this.

Elspeth

<the end>