Tin-Foil-Trag-art - 1/16/11 "Tin Foil Tragedy". A tale from Trimaris. NOTE: See also the files: Trim-hist-msg, SCA-hist1-msg, SCA-stories1-msg, child-stories-msg, Meridies-hist-msg, royal-deaths-msg, SCA-royalty-msg. ************************************************************************ NOTICE - This file is a collection of various messages having a common theme that I have collected from my reading of the various computer networks. Some messages date back to 1989, some may be as recent as yesterday. This file is part of a collection of files called Stefan's Florilegium. These files are available on the Internet at: http://www.florilegium.org I have done a limited amount of editing. Messages having to do with separate topics were sometimes split into different files and sometimes extraneous information was removed. For instance, the message IDs were removed to save space and remove clutter. The comments made in these messages are not necessarily my viewpoints. I make no claims as to the accuracy of the information given by the individual authors. Please respect the time and efforts of those who have written these messages. The copyright status of these messages is unclear at this time. If information is published from these messages, please give credit to the originator(s). Thank you, Mark S. Harris AKA: THLord Stefan li Rous Stefan at florilegium.org ************************************************************************ From: Shannon Gately Date: August 28, 2009 4:25:00 AM CDT To: trimaris-temp Subject: [tri-temp] Tin Foil Tragedy Tin Foil Tragedy (thanks for the title Your Grace!) A long time ago in a land named Trimaris there lived a beautiful Court Baroness named Elizabeth de Whitney.  She was known across the land for her exceptional baking abilities.  A few gentles in the Kingdom were exceptionally fond of her gingerbread. One day, a rather serious looking German guy entered a Crown Tournament in Trimaris.  Despite unfavorable odds (according to the publication, 'Thee Realm Inquisitor'), the German guy shot through the Tournament and came out the other side as the winner.  This was attributed  to the inspiration provided by his beautiful consort, Dulcia MacPherson.  The Kingdom celebrated the announcement of heirs to the throne. Months of preparation commenced immediately.  Dulcia put in many hours of labor making clothes, ordering trinkets, coins and other baubles to distribute to the populace during their reign.  She did not complain about the long hours or the blood and tears spent to make the German guy's future wardrobe as attractive as had it been spun by angels (pretty clothing was important since the German guy insisted on a time period where he would wear a dress).  She did these things out of love for her Kingdom and with gratitude for the German guy's efforts to put her on the throne (for some reason he INSISTED on sitting in the other throne as King, when she could have handled the job herself.  Yes, she's that good!). Their Coronation arrived and all was ready to go.  Everyone in the Kingdom rejoiced and brought many gifts to the new Majesties.  Among those giving thanks and gifts was the Baroness de Whitney.  She had prepared many of her cherished baked goods.  She had wrapped them carefully in shiny tin foil.  Then she traveled across the Kingdom to deliver them to the new Majesties.  Among the tasty gifts was the King's favorite, gingerbread.    As the Baroness presented the basket filled with the coveted treats, the King saw the sparkle of tin foil. He then exclaimed rather loudly, "Anything in tin foil is MINE!"  The Queen, being the compassionate soul, did not object at all.  She knew it was important to him and she had the grace to smile and simply be happy for his joy. Their reign progressed and the Kingdom was very happy.  During this reign a shy, reserved and innocent maiden met His Majesty.  They hit it off and had many hours of fun jesting with one another. It so happened that her birthday fell on a Kingdom holiday weekend. Those weekends the entire Kingdom would gather and celebrate the fortune of being Trimarians.  At a party during this weekend, a cloaked individual gave the maiden a plastic horse with a note tied around its neck.  The note promised, “Return me to the King and receive a wonderful prize!”  The young lady thought this was a clever ploy for the King to give her a present and yet not inspire envy in other populace members. The King was not prepared for this circumstance.  The “game” of lost horses & prizes had been started by some unknown villain in the Kingdom without permission from any Royals.  Being a kind and resourceful man, he offered the maiden a boon of her choice (within reason…and the King’s definition of that was vastly different from the maiden’s).  They finally agreed on His Majesty promising to forgive one night of mischief with no questions asked. When Majesties step down, a great event is held and the Kingdom travels great distances to wish them well and to greet the new Majesties.  Before heading out to wish Their Majesties well, the maiden received an unexpected communication.  It was Baroness de Whitney.  She wished to relay all that had happened when she presented her basket of baked goods to Their Majesties. And then she suggested, “Wouldn’t it be nice to ensure the faith of the populace, that the King is never wrong?  They should never have cause to doubt His Majesty’s decrees?  Months ago, he said everything wrapped in tin foil was his.  And isn’t the King master and protector of all that surrounds him?”  The maiden agreed and told the Baroness she would work very hard to make sure the Kingdom NEVER loses its faith in the King’s word. The maiden arrived at the event after a long journey that was made easier by just thinking of the smiles she would create with her efforts.  On her way to the event, she stopped at a merchant’s wagon and purchased all the materials she would need for the project (9 rolls of tin foil….not that she counted or anything like that).  She was now ready to show the Kingdom that the King was a wise and truthful man. The eve of Their Majesties retirement arrived, much to the sorrow of the populace.  The King and Queen spent the evening with the populace. They celebrated a long and happy reign in which the Kingdom prospered greatly.  While away from his estate the maiden gained entry to the estate and set about making a grand display proving the King’s word. She and her accomplice….errr…..minion…..ummmm…..charitable friends covered everything they could in tin foil.  They wanted the angels to be able to see this spectacle without leaving Heaven.  They covered his door, his bed, his sword, his shield handle, his cow pillow (apparently this was sacrilege), his Guinness (that was in his cooler)…the list went on and on.  She and her friends were VERY dedicated to their task.  The Queen’s personal belongings were left untouched.  By the King’s own words everything that was his was wrapped in tin foil. A retainer that did not agree with the maiden’s actions raced off to find His Majesty and bring him back to dispense justice.  Shortly thereafter, His Majesty swooped into the estate and did frown greatly. The maiden was confused since the effort was only to help His Majesty keep the loyalty of his Kingdom.  He inspected everything that had been decorated (the estate was thoroughly dust free after all the sighs).  He had a scowl on his face that the maiden had never seen before and she was rightfully afraid. She trembled in her seat as the King stormed around the estate expressing displeasure with all the pretty wrappings.  The King eventually sat down next to her but would not look at her.  He asked her without turning to her, “I guess you want to use your ‘Get Out of Jail Free’ card?”  “Yes, please”, she replied.  Being true to His word, the King did not ask any questions and let her go with no punishment.  The event came to a close and everyone traveled back to their homesteads with happy memories of a weekend spent well. Many weeks passed and the maiden repeatedly tried to contact the German guy (remember he’s no longer King at this point) to apologize. No audience was granted.  No acknowledgement of her remorse was given. Nary was a nod given to her in any way.  The maiden truly did grieve for her trespass against her friend.  That which was done with noble and kind intent must have been an evil ploy by the Baroness de Whitney.  The maiden mourned the loss of that which she had held so dear.  She cried to the heavens, “Oh why are the innocent but fodder to Courtly intrigues?”  For surely the maiden would never stand against the King in any way! After many many weeks passed fortune smiled upon the maiden and she did catch the German guy’s attention while meditating with powerful message devices (for some reason they were known as the mystical “IMs”).  She proceeded to exclaim her repentance and begged for forgiveness as she did unknowingly travel beyond the bounds of the King’s comfort.  Would he please….oh please forgive her and she would work very hard to repair the friendship she so missed. Long moments passed.  The King gave her words due consideration. Longer moments passed.  The King considered more. All during this the maiden did fret and tremble with the fear of a friendship lost. Many more moments passed until a response suddenly appeared before the wailing girl. “I wasn’t angry.  Actually, I thought it was hilarious.” And thus the kind, noble, compassionate, generous and strong German guy become, “His Majesty Rat B at st at rd” forevermore. Edited by Mark S. Harris Tin-Foil-Trag-art 4 of 4