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Tin-Foil-Trag-art - 1/16/11


"Tin Foil Tragedy". A tale from Trimaris.


NOTE: See also the files: Trim-hist-msg, SCA-hist1-msg, SCA-stories1-msg, child-stories-msg, Meridies-hist-msg, royal-deaths-msg, SCA-royalty-msg.





This file is a collection of various messages having a common theme that I have collected from my reading of the various computer networks. Some messages date back to 1989, some may be as recent as yesterday.


This file is part of a collection of files called Stefan's Florilegium. These files are available on the Internet at: http://www.florilegium.org


I have done a limited amount of editing. Messages having to do with separate topics were sometimes split into different files and sometimes extraneous information was removed. For instance, the message IDs were removed to save space and remove clutter.


The comments made in these messages are not necessarily my viewpoints. I make no claims as to the accuracy of the information given by the individual authors.


Please respect the time and efforts of those who have written these messages. The copyright status of these messages is unclear at this time. If information is published from these messages, please give credit to the originator(s).


Thank you,

   Mark S. Harris                  AKA:  THLord Stefan li Rous

                                         Stefan at florilegium.org



From: Shannon Gately <RandomMongol at gmail.com>

Date: August 28, 2009 4:25:00 AM CDT

To: trimaris-temp <trimaris-temp at yahoogroups.com>

Subject: [tri-temp] Tin Foil Tragedy


Tin Foil Tragedy (thanks for the title Your Grace!)


A long time ago in a land named Trimaris there lived a beautiful Court

Baroness named Elizabeth de Whitney.  She was known across the land

for her exceptional baking abilities.  A few gentles in the Kingdom

were exceptionally fond of her gingerbread.


One day, a rather serious looking German guy entered a Crown

Tournament in Trimaris.  Despite unfavorable odds (according to the

publication, 'Thee Realm Inquisitor'), the German guy shot through the

Tournament and came out the other side as the winner.  This was

attributed  to the inspiration provided by his beautiful consort,

Dulcia MacPherson.  The Kingdom celebrated the announcement of heirs

to the throne.


Months of preparation commenced immediately.  Dulcia put in many hours

of labor making clothes, ordering trinkets, coins and other baubles to

distribute to the populace during their reign.  She did not complain

about the long hours or the blood and tears spent to make the German

guy's future wardrobe as attractive as had it been spun by angels

(pretty clothing was important since the German guy insisted on a time

period where he would wear a dress).  She did these things out of love

for her Kingdom and with gratitude for the German guy's efforts to put

her on the throne (for some reason he INSISTED on sitting in the other

throne as King, when she could have handled the job herself.  Yes,

she's that good!).


Their Coronation arrived and all was ready to go.  Everyone in the

Kingdom rejoiced and brought many gifts to the new Majesties.  Among

those giving thanks and gifts was the Baroness de Whitney.  She had

prepared many of her cherished baked goods.  She had wrapped them

carefully in shiny tin foil.  Then she traveled across the Kingdom to

deliver them to the new Majesties.  Among the tasty gifts was the

King's favorite, gingerbread.    As the Baroness presented the basket

filled with the coveted treats, the King saw the sparkle of tin foil.

He then exclaimed rather loudly, "Anything in tin foil is MINE!"  The

Queen, being the compassionate soul, did not object at all.  She knew

it was important to him and she had the grace to smile and simply be

happy for his joy.


Their reign progressed and the Kingdom was very happy.  During this

reign a shy, reserved and innocent maiden met His Majesty.  They hit

it off and had many hours of fun jesting with one another.


It so happened that her birthday fell on a Kingdom holiday weekend.

Those weekends the entire Kingdom would gather and celebrate the

fortune of being Trimarians.  At a party during this weekend, a

cloaked individual gave the maiden a plastic horse with a note tied

around its neck.  The note promised, “Return me to the King and

receive a wonderful prize!”  The young lady thought this was a clever

ploy for the King to give her a present and yet not inspire envy in

other populace members.


The King was not prepared for this circumstance.  The “game” of lost

horses & prizes had been started by some unknown villain in the

Kingdom without permission from any Royals.  Being a kind and

resourceful man, he offered the maiden a boon of her choice (within

reason…and the King’s definition of that was vastly different from the

maiden’s).  They finally agreed on His Majesty promising to forgive

one night of mischief with no questions asked.


<cut scene....skip forward almost the whole reign>


When Majesties step down, a great event is held and the Kingdom

travels great distances to wish them well and to greet the new

Majesties.  Before heading out to wish Their Majesties well, the

maiden received an unexpected communication.  It was Baroness de

Whitney.  She wished to relay all that had happened when she presented

her basket of baked goods to Their Majesties.


And then she suggested, “Wouldn’t it be nice to ensure the faith of

the populace, that the King is never wrong?  They should never have

cause to doubt His Majesty’s decrees?  Months ago, he said everything

wrapped in tin foil was his.  And isn’t the King master and protector

of all that surrounds him?”  The maiden agreed and told the Baroness

she would work very hard to make sure the Kingdom NEVER loses its

faith in the King’s word.


The maiden arrived at the event after a long journey that was made

easier by just thinking of the smiles she would create with her

efforts.  On her way to the event, she stopped at a merchant’s wagon

and purchased all the materials she would need for the project (9

rolls of tin foil….not that she counted or anything like that).  She

was now ready to show the Kingdom that the King was a wise and

truthful man.


The eve of Their Majesties retirement arrived, much to the sorrow of

the populace.  The King and Queen spent the evening with the populace.

They celebrated a long and happy reign in which the Kingdom prospered

greatly.  While away from his estate the maiden gained entry to the

estate and set about making a grand display proving the King’s word.

She and her accomplice….errr…..minion…..ummmm…..charitable friends

covered everything they could in tin foil.  They wanted the angels to

be able to see this spectacle without leaving Heaven.  They covered

his door, his bed, his sword, his shield handle, his cow pillow

(apparently this was sacrilege), his Guinness (that was in his

cooler)…the list went on and on.  She and her friends were VERY

dedicated to their task.  The Queen’s personal belongings were left

untouched.  By the King’s own words everything that was his was

wrapped in tin foil.


A retainer that did not agree with the maiden’s actions raced off to

find His Majesty and bring him back to dispense justice.  Shortly

thereafter, His Majesty swooped into the estate and did frown greatly.

The maiden was confused since the effort was only to help His Majesty

keep the loyalty of his Kingdom.  He inspected everything that had

been decorated (the estate was thoroughly dust free after all the

sighs).  He had a scowl on his face that the maiden had never seen

before and she was rightfully afraid.


<Harken back to the boon gifted to the maiden at the beginning of the

reign.  Since she was a loyal and law abiding servant to the Crown the

boon had remained unused.>


She trembled in her seat as the King stormed around the estate

expressing displeasure with all the pretty wrappings.  The King

eventually sat down next to her but would not look at her.  He asked

her without turning to her, “I guess you want to use your ‘Get Out of

Jail Free’ card?”  “Yes, please”, she replied.  Being true to His

word, the King did not ask any questions and let her go with no

punishment.  The event came to a close and everyone traveled back to

their homesteads with happy memories of a weekend spent well.


Many weeks passed and the maiden repeatedly tried to contact the

German guy (remember he’s no longer King at this point) to apologize.

No audience was granted.  No acknowledgement of her remorse was given.

Nary was a nod given to her in any way.  The maiden truly did grieve

for her trespass against her friend.  That which was done with noble

and kind intent must have been an evil ploy by the Baroness de

Whitney.  The maiden mourned the loss of that which she had held so

dear.  She cried to the heavens, “Oh why are the innocent but fodder

to Courtly intrigues?”  For surely the maiden would never stand

against the King in any way!


After many many weeks passed fortune smiled upon the maiden and she

did catch the German guy’s attention while meditating with powerful

message devices (for some reason they were known as the mystical

“IMs”).  She proceeded to exclaim her repentance and begged for

forgiveness as she did unknowingly travel beyond the bounds of the

King’s comfort.  Would he please….oh please forgive her and she would

work very hard to repair the friendship she so missed.


Long moments passed.  The King gave her words due consideration.


Longer moments passed.  The King considered more.


All during this the maiden did fret and tremble with the fear of a

friendship lost.


Many more moments passed until a response suddenly appeared before the

wailing girl.


“I wasn’t angry.  Actually, I thought it was hilarious.”


And thus the kind, noble, compassionate, generous and strong German

guy become, “His Majesty Rat B at st at rd” forevermore.


<the end>

Formatting copyright © Mark S. Harris (THLord Stefan li Rous).
All other copyrights are property of the original article and message authors.

Comments to the Editor: stefan at florilegium.org