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SCA-stories2-msg - 11/22/09


SCA stories related between 5/1/94 and 5/1/96.


NOTE: See also the files: SCA-stories1-msg, SCA-hist1-msg, child-stories-msg, SCA-authors-msg, SCA-notables-msg, you-know-msg, vanity-plates-msg.





This file is a collection of various messages having a common theme that I have collected from my reading of the various computer networks. Some messages date back to 1989, some may be as recent as yesterday.


This file is part of a collection of files called Stefan's Florilegium. These files are available on the Internet at: http://www.florilegium.org


I have done a limited amount of editing. Messages having to do with separate topics were sometimes split into different files and sometimes extraneous information was removed. For instance, the message IDs were removed to save space and remove clutter.


The comments made in these messages are not necessarily my viewpoints. I make no claims as to the accuracy of the information given by the individual authors.


Please respect the time and efforts of those who have written these messages. The copyright status of these messages is unclear at this time. If information is published from these messages, please give credit to the originator(s).


Thank you,

    Mark S. Harris                  AKA:  THLord Stefan li Rous

                                          Stefan at florilegium.org



"History is a moving target that changes as fresh details are discovered, as errors are corrected, as popular attitudes shift.  Historians carve the sculpture that is Truth not out of granite, but out of wet clay."


-   From the preface to "The Life of Muad'Dib" in the Dune series.



Newsgroups: rec.org.sca

From: MCNUTT at gateway.ce.utk.edu (Bill McNutt)

Subject: Re: And now: You Know You're In The SCA When...

Organization: University of Tennessee Division of Continuing Education

Date: Wed, 4 May 1994 02:55:37 GMT


silbrmnd at acf4.nyu.edu (The Dark Mage) writes:

>Heehee!!!  My fave's are the codpieces with the squeaky toys inside...


For awhile Hasbro Toys were marketing talking X-Men dolls, that said a tagline

if you squeezed them.  The Wolverine doll said "I am the best there is at what

I do.  A Noble Lord who shall remain nameless is threatening to take the

mechanism out of one of those for a cod.



Newsgroups: rec.org.sca

From: Ginny Beatty <virginia.l.beatty at daytonOH.NCR.COM>

Subject: Boys and their toys (was: you know if you're a stick jock)

Organization: AT&T - GIS

Date: Mon, 2 May 1994 19:21:12 GMT


An amusing anecdote:


This past Sunday (5/1/94), after the Middle Kingdom 25th year celebration, Aasa

Sorensdottir and I visited the Chicago Art Institute. After browsing through one

of the displays, we wandered into the medieval arms and armor hall. We briefly

perused the armor and moved on to more interesting things (like the glass and

ceramics), which were in the same room as the armor.


Another friend of ours, Emrys Eustace (Broom), then arrived in the hall. He was

there just to study the armor. Baalduir of Fenix, his wife Carline and her

cousin also arrived in the hall. After some conversation, Aasa and I bid Broom

and Baalduir farewell and went on to other exhibits in the museum.


About 2 hours later, we returned to the armor display. Broom and Baalduir

>never< left the hall, and were busy passionately discussing the jousting armors

and methods of construction.


In the Museum shop, I picked up a present for Broom: a Dover edition of making a

paper cutout helmet. I thought it would be appropriate.


Happy New Year, SCA!


Gwyneth Banfhidhleir

Barony of Flaming Gryphon

Middle Kingdom



From: una at bregeuf.stonemarche.org (Honour Horne-Jaruk)

Newsgroups: rec.org.sca

Subject: You know you're in the SCA when:

Date: Fri, 06 May 94 15:31:04 EDT


        Respected friends:

        My program won't let me quote from the YKYITSCA post, because it's too

long for it (or something like that). But i had to comment about one of the

`urban legend' ones, because I think the real version may have been my

then-husband, Alexandre sur le mer.

        A. came back from a voyage with not one single stitch of normal

clothing clean. (It doesn't happen to Merchant Marine officers as often as

it  does to college students, but it does happen.) I met him with the car

packed for the event- no normal clothes along. It was dark, he was flexible;

into full silk-and-gold Elisabethan. (No ruffles, just pleated shirt edgings.)

        We stopped at a truckstop for coffee and facilities. Being Alexandre,

he put on his rings, medallion, and swordbelt before entering. He came out of

the restrooms grinning ferociously.

        Me: What happenned?

        A.: The beerbelly at the next urinal wanted to know why I was dressed

like a queer.

        Me: And you said...

        A.: "My wife made it." then I -adjusted- my sword and added "And I

_don't_ like fighting _women_."

        Me: (Choking on my cocoa) Can we leave now?

        It almost has to be the same incident. Besides, when he chose to, A.

could produce the most convincing set of snake-eyes ever seen off a riverboat.

        In the interests of accuracy, in legends as in everything-




From: una at bregeuf.stonemarche.org (Honour Horne-Jaruk)

Newsgroups: rec.org.sca

Subject: Re: fun with history

Date: Mon, 09 May 94 12:37:36 EDT


jeffs at math.bu.EDU (Jeff Suzuki) writes:

>  To a greater or lesser degree, experiental archeology is what

> some of our most driven SCAdians are doing.

> William the Alchymist


        Conversation in my college medieval history class, 1977:

"OF course, as the caption in the book makes clear, knights couldn't actually

get out of a mailshirt alone; this illustration is fanciful, and is intended

to show how poor the knight is."


        "Sir, may I use your office phone for a moment?"

"Go ahead, but remember, we've just begun class- don't take long."

(I return to class, two minutes later, and sit down & shut up.)


Twenty minutes later-

        "Excuse me, sir, I'd like to return to our first topic- allegorical

versus realistic illustrations?"


"What more could possibly be said about it?"

        "friend, could you come down front?"

(Friend proceeds to skin out of mailshirt in manner identical to illustration)


        "Now, professor- about the `allegorical' illustration by the same

artist, of women assisting in the defense of a castle..."


        ...And I still got an A- . I love experimental archeology, I do, I do,

I do!




Newsgroups: rec.org.sca

From: mikes at nickel.ucs.indiana.edu (michael squires)

Subject: Re: You know you're in the SCA when...

Keywords: stories

Organization: Indiana University

Date: Wed, 25 May 1994 15:59:46 GMT


This happened to me.


A largish group of us were staying at a cheap hotel for Talymar's first

coronation in Chicago.  We were a reasonable walk from the feast site

(University of Chicago) and a group of about 20 started out at once.  We

were all in our best garb and carrying steel; many were carrying

swords.  I don't think there was anyone who did not at least have a dagger

at their waist.  I was carrying a wall-hanger known in the Shire as

Watermelon's Bane from its function at summer demos.


About half way there we saw a group of young men, all dressed in the same

jackets and hats, walking toward us.  We thought it was probably a street

gang, but after hurried consultation kept on walking toward them.  When

the young men got to the intersection that divided our groups they

crossed over to the other side of the street.  Once we had passed by,

they crossed back over to our side of the street.


Michael L. Squires, Ph.D   Manager of Instructional Computing, Freshman Office,

Chemistry Department, IU Bloomington, IN 47405 812-855-0852 (o) 81-333-6564 (h)

mikes at indiana.edu, mikes at ucs.indiana.edu, or mikes at nickel.ucs.indiana.edu



Newsgroups: rec.org.sca

From: parkerd at mcmail.cis.mcmaster.ca (Diana Parker)

Subject: Re: You know you're in the SCA when...

Organization: McMaster University, Hamilton, Ontario, Canada

Date: Thu, 26 May 1994 08:05:52 GMT


Some few years ago, my lord and I walked down the street from an event in

an economically challenged neighbourhood in Dayton, Ohio to a grocery

store.  Because it was so close we didn't bother to change out of garb.

During the three block trip multiple people crossed the street away from

our path.


When we arrived at the small grocery store, a very nervous security guard

approached and said that we couldn't take any weapons into the store.  As

I knew all we had come to get, I stripped off my 3 visible & 1 hidden

blades and passed them over to Hasdrubal who would wait for me at the

front.  While I was shopping, Hasdrubal was approached by 5-6 pre-teens

who asked questions about the knives & swords.


About 5 minutes into the conversation, one boy asked if he had ever had to

use any of the weapons.  When he answered in the negative, the youngest

and smallest, who looked about 10 or 11, nodded knowingly and said sagely

"when you are packing that much, you don't need to use it."


We gently walked the three blocks back to the site, unmolested by anyone,

but with the determination not to make anyone too nervous.


cheers Tabitha


Diana Parker        <parkerd at mcmail.mcmaster.ca>

Security Services   CUC - 201    

McMaster University (905) 525-9140 (x24282)



From: locksley at indirect.com (Joe Bethancourt)

Newsgroups: rec.org.sca

Subject: Re: You know you're in the SCA when...

Date: 27 May 1994 13:22:14 GMT

Organization: Internet Direct, Inc.


A member of my Household, Sir Terans den Sjofarende, was with Phoenix PD.

As a lowly patrolman, he had to stand uniform inspection at the beginning

of each shift....an inspection that was done by a rather tight-a** serjeant.


Terry has a wicked sense of humor, so one evening he asked to borrow an

object I have.


The next inspection, Terry was quietly standing in line as the serjeant

walked down the rows. Upon seeing Terry, and the Object hung from his

belt, the serjeant goggled, took two steps back and pointed, and said,



Terry smiled, unhooked it and held it out to the serjeant.


"It's my mace, sir."


(the fun part is that it's a combination weapon.... .58 cal 4 bladed mace)


We have several photos of the old Locksley Monsters in shield-wall, one

of which shows Terry holding a plexiglas riot shield with POLICE across

the front.....<grin!>



locksley at indirect.com           PO Box 35190       Locksley Plot Systems

White Tree Productions      Phoenix, AZ 85069 USA         CyberMongol Ltd



Newsgroups: rec.org.sca

From: rvoris at world.std.com (Rebecca A Voris)

Subject: YKYITSCA and mutated blackballing

Organization: The World Public Access UNIX, Brookline, MA

Date: Fri, 27 May 1994 17:10:51 GMT


The combination of the threads on "You know you're in the SCA when..."

and on interacting with people who do this stuff for a living

(sometimes badly, sometimes not) reminded me of something that

happened to me a while ago.


My lord wants to learn how to make shoes.  He heard from someone that

an expert in historical shoes worked at Old Sturbridge Village, a

nineteenth-century recreation village here in Massachusetts.  He

organized a field trip there to visit this guy and to see the place in

general.  Now it turns out that if you simply show up with a large

enough group, they will give you a group discount, but in order to

find this out he wrote to them to tell them we were coming.


After we visited the shoemaker, we all went our separate ways.  I was

wandering through one of the houses, and saw a woman sewing a shirt.

So I went up to ask her about it.  We talked about stitches and cloth

and patterns for a while.  Then she said to me, "You must be one of

the people from the SCA."  I was mildly boggled; I had chosen to play

tourist, and wasn't even wearing an SCA-related T-shirt. Apparently,

nobody else asks those kind of questions, and since she knew we were

coming she put two and two together.


Godith Anyon

(Not a sewing weenie.  Doesn't everybody ask these questions?)

Carolingia (Boston)



From: timsmith at oasys.dt.navy.mil (Tim Smith)

Newsgroups: rec.org.sca

Subject: Re: Know your an Old Timer in SCA when?

Date: 2 Jun 1994 21:50:45 GMT

Organization: David Taylor Model Basin


Poklon k Rialtogradu ot Timofeya Ivanovichya!


Another Old-Timer's moment:


As I was gently flirting with a sweet young beauty working alongside me

in the kitchen, I found out that she was:


1.  less than half my age, and

2.  two years older than I was when I first joined the SCA.


Tempus fugit....



Timofei Ivanovitch                  Ponte Alto                 


Tim Smith    Code 522    CD/NSWC    Bethesda, MD  20084   (301)227-1312



From: ALBAN at delphi.COM

Newsgroups: rec.org.sca

Subject: old timers

Date: 1 Jun 1994 20:10:24 -0400

Organization: the internet


two stories, actually, of which one is an old-timer line....

1) there's a young lady i often saw at pennsic; after seeing

her regularly after 4 or 5 wars, we finally got to talking. she is

now in college; i discovered, when we finally got together, that she'd

been born about a month before i joined the sca. <creak><groan>


2) married in the sca, version 7: there was an event in three rivers, oh

ten years ago or so, when cloved fruit was semi-popular. a friend

of mine, mistress morganna,knew these two relative newbies who she

thought might like each other. she inttroduced

one to the other, explained the clove fruit routine, gave them one,

and left them alone. apparently, two hours later, when we had to

leave the site, the couple was still exchanging the fruit.

they're married, now, and have been a good couple since the cloves.

(hmmm, does this mean the cloves cleaved them one to the other?)


okalban, who actually sleeps now, because the whipporwills seemed finally

to have shut up!



From: meg at tinhat.stonemarche.org (meg)

Newsgroups: rec.org.sca

Subject: Re: Cannon (Pennsic Bell)

Date: Wed, 15 Jun 94 17:05:54 EDT

Organization: Stonemarche Network Co-op


And then there was the morning I was camped next to the cannon at Pennsic

16. We were sound asleep, snug in our sleeping bag, Cassie (my dog) and

I. The cannon went off, and poor Cassie instantly emptied her bladder all

over the bed. Sigh.

Megan, who now sleeps far away from the artillery.


In 1994: Linda Anfuso

In the Current Middle Ages: Megan ni Laine de Belle Rive  

In the SCA, Inc: sustaining member # 33644


                                YYY     YYY

meg at tinhat.stonemarche.org      |  YYYYY  |




From: meg at tinhat.stonemarche.org (meg)

Newsgroups: rec.org.sca

Subject: Re: Joe Newby's Name

Date: Tue, 21 Jun 94 13:49:12 EDT

Organization: Stonemarche Network Co-op


hrjones at uclink.berkeley.edu (Heather Rose Jones) writes:


> meg (meg at tinhat.stonemarche.org) wrote:

> : There is a gentleman of my aquaintance from the Midrealm whose mundane

> : name is Henry Tudor.

> : Any other coincidental names out there?

> : Megan


> Maybe he should meet the lady out here in the Mists whose mundane name is

> Catherine Aragon ...


> Tangwystyl verch Morgant Glasvryn


Love it!

Unfortunately, (or perhaps fortunately) he is already attached to a wife.

(not that that ever stopped his historical namesake). they were on their

honeymoon during hurricaine Gilbert on Jamaica. After the storm was over,

and I got (read here stole) (ok, appropriated without the owners

permission) busses to transport the resort's guests to a city, I finally

sat back to relax with a book. They were sitting next to me. They noticed

I was reading a SF book, and asked if go to cons. No, I replied, I am too

busy going to SCA events on weekends. And they began to laugh...I KNEW

it, she said, the moment you stood up on the table and yelled "HOLD", and

the way you organized the rescue during the storm, I just knew you had to

be a scadian. No one else has that aura of absolute authority.


We have a reunion every Pennsic to remember the vacation that wasn't.

(next time I'll tell you about the jerked collie)




In 1994: Linda Anfuso       non moritur cujus fama vivat

In the Current Middle Ages: Megan ni Laine de Belle Rive  

In the SCA, Inc: sustaining member # 33644


                                YYY     YYY

meg at tinhat.stonemarche.org      |  YYYYY  |




From: mordraut at bga.com (Mordraut Freyulf)

Newsgroups: rec.org.sca

Subject: Re: Master Iolo?

Date: 28 Jun 1994 12:16:54 GMT

Organization: Real/Time Communications - Bob Gustwick and Associates


mondschein at delphi.com wrote:

:      Is that the same fellow from the "Ultima" games? I've always wondered

: that.

:      Weird thing: My lady whistled a bar of song in the car as we were

: returning from the Renn Faire. I whistled the next bar. Then we both looked

: at each other and realized that it was "Stones," which is a song from the

: Ultima games, credited (in the game) to "Iolo FitzOwen." Weird, huh?


:                     --Tristan


Don Shomino, MKA Richard Garriott, AKA Lord British, creator of Ultima

based some of the characters on people in the SCA, most of whom live(d)

in the Barony of Bryn Gwlad.  Master Iolo is both a crossbow maker and a

bard, and he does look like the computer version.  He tells a story about

a young person coming up to him with the following questions:


KID: You're Iolo, right?


IOLO: Yes I am.


KID:  Your a bard?


IOLO:  Yes I am.


KID:  And you make crosbows?


IOLO:  Yes I do.


KID:  So you based your persona on the Ultima character, right?


| Mordraut Freyulf |  So what is a 13th Century Mongol doing   | Dark Horde  |

| mordraut at bga.com | Riding down the Information Superhighway  |   Moritu    




From: locksley at indirect.com (Joe Bethancourt)

Newsgroups: rec.org.sca

Subject: Re: A slightly wacky YKYITSCA

Date: 1 Jul 1994 16:27:14 GMT

Organization: Internet Direct, Inc.


I like knives....I tend to get crazed sometimes in my Cavaliers and wear

several of all sizes about my body.


One afternoon in a grocery, a mundane asked me "Why all the knives?"


I pointed to the lacing on my Lady Wife's gown and said:




locksley at indirect.com           PO Box 35190       Locksley Plot Systems

White Tree Productions      Phoenix, AZ 85069 USA         CyberMongol Ltd



Newsgroups: rec.org.sca

From: Nate Schroeder <neschr at ccmail.monsanto.com>

Subject: Re: Urban Legends

Organization: Monsanto Company

Date: Wed, 24 Aug 1994 22:16:24 GMT


One I heard told of some Three Rivers folks, before I joined (in AS 12) -


Arwyn, Jason d'Westershire, and another (Lloyd?) were bored one evening, and

decided to go trolling in Forest Park for muggers.  (FYI: Arwyn is quite

beautiful, VERY well built, and I think I'm safe because I don't think she

reads the Rialto.)  Arwyn strolled apparently alone through the dark park; the

men followed at a certain distance, not obviously "with" her.  She was accosted

twice that evening; both times, of course, the men rushed to her aid.  One of

the times, the assailant was still standing when they got there.  (Arwyn is

also VERY dangerous.)


--not ADVOCATING this behavior, but it's an entertaining story...


On a related thread, Geoffrey writes:


> But I see little heroism in fighting someone, dregs though they might be,

> over a matter of perhaps a hundred dollars.


Agreed; there are more entertaining ways of thwarting them.  I have been

accosted at gunpoint and had my money demanded of me.  I replied that I was

carrying no wallet.  He asked what that bulge was in my coat pocket; I produced

and offered him my mitten (he declined).  Presently he left; I retained the $90

I was carrying.


Harald of Bears'Haven

Three Rivers




From: dmontuor at telenet.com (Dave Montuori)

Newsgroups: rec.org.sca

Subject: Yang Stories & other urban legends

Date: 22 Aug 94 13:32:51 GMT

Organization: Alcatel Data Networks


Astridhr, eka Ercil C. Howard-Wroth <ercil at astrid.UUCP> wrote:

>It happened that a fellow SCAdian wished to contact Yang via

>farspeaker and did not have the correct number or Yang's mundane

>name.  But he called information anyway.  The operator was a bit

>surprised by the name...


And asked El of Two Knives "Are you *sure* sir?" several times

(El asked for "Nauseating, Yang T." if I remember the story aright)

before repeating the name out loud, at which point...


>to which a fellow operator replied `I know him!' and gave the other

>operater the correct mundane name and the number was forthwith

>rendered unto Yang's Friend.


Arval must know this story better than I do, so corrections (if

necessary) are invited.


The "I'll see you six and raise you thirty" story dates from a

time when it would have been *extremely* unusual for a garden

variety mugger to carry a gun, even in New York City (the setting

for the version I first heard).



dmontuor%telenet.UUCP at uunet.uu.net



From: folo at prairienet.org (F.L. Watkins)

Newsgroups: rec.org.sca

Subject: Re: Yang Stories & other urban legends

Date: 23 Aug 1994 00:00:09 GMT

Organization: University of Illinois at Urbana


As I recall, Bob had "Nauseating, Y.T." listed in the phone book

in Ann Arbor for some time, although that may have postdated

El's attempt to contact him.


There was a letter that arrived successfully after being addressed

only as "Snakepit, Ann Arbor..." (Snakepit was the name of Yang's

house; it was sort of a waystation for a number of Scadians thru

the years, since Bob--no matter what other faults he had--was

notoriously generous; I spent a few days there en route to and

from Pennsic II. It was cluttered and unclean, with books, knives,

magazines and cat feces scattered about, a pagan alter in the

attic (termed a halloween prop generally, since the SCA was not

so pagan tolerant in those days) and an absolute dearth of eating

utensils in the kitchen although Bob bragged that he was within

three feet of a weapon anywhere in the house.)


Yrs, Folo


Damin de Folo - F.L.Watkins - folo at prairienet.org

Baron Wurm Wald (MidRealm) - Commander Baldwin's (NWTA)



From: kkozmins at mtholyoke.edu (Kim C Kozminski)

Newsgroups: rec.org.sca

Subject: Re: Urban Legends

Date: 26 Aug 1994 04:46:12 GMT

Organization: Mount Holyoke College


In reference to the "chain-mail" legend:

        Since you need names, the name I have is Master Knut, and he had

just finished his first rivetted hauberk. He decided to wear it out to

"see how it felt" under a fatigue jacket.  He went to a favourite

neighborhood bar, and was having a drink, when a bar fight erupted about

him.  A battered man came reeling out of the fight, landed against the

bar, and without thinking grabbed a bottle, smashed it on the bar and

punched the jagged edge into Knut's chest.  The bottle crumbled, and as

the man gaped in astonishment, Knut cried, "It works!" , punched out the

man's lights (Knut benchpressed over 500 lbs.), and left the bar .

        Master Knut has never personally verified this to me, but he is

still active in the SCA, if anyone wants to try to contact him.

               Emeric Wendel, KSCA


P.S. (from Roen) Has anyone out there actually tipped over a cow?! (Not

your best friend's room-mate's cousin, but *You* personally!!!).  



From: andrixos at aol.com (Andrixos)

Newsgroups: rec.org.sca

Subject: Weirdness ratings

Date: 23 Aug 1994 22:54:03 -0400

Organization: America Online, Inc. (1-800-827-6364)


Dani of the Seven Wells wrote:


>Marion's best story was that at a time when a number of SCA-folk were

>living together (in the Buttery), someone came home with a World Weekly

>News article which gave twenty-two ways to tell if your neighbors were

>space aliens -- and they scored on seventeen of them. (Eg, space aliens

>don't understand Earth customs too well, and often dress strangely.


>trying to repair their spacecraft, and you can often hear hammering


>from their basement.  They have their own internal hierarchy.  They'll

>often address each other by different names than their ostensible ones,

>when they think nobody's listening.  And so forth.)


When I was President of the Medieval Re-enacment Society, the  student


group on the University of Missouri Campus, I received a mailing regarding

policies against hazing.  Loosely interpreted, we failed about 7 of the

ten categories.  Some that I remember most explicitly:

   I.  No physical violence   (Fighting)

   II.  No outlandish clothing  (Garb)

   III.  No long road trips  (Events)

   IV.  No attempts to alter identity  (Persona)

There were several other examples.  I did not report the organization as

violating the campus policy, and they never asked.  (The Student

government did however buy us new shop equipment, pay for our newsletter

and a tune-up on the shire sewing machine.)


Andrixos Seljukroctonis



From: Maryanne.Bartlett at f56.n105.z1.fidonet.org (Maryanne Bartlett)

Newsgroups: rec.org.sca

Subject: Urban Legends

Date: Tue, 30 Aug 1994 01:54:00 -0800


In article <33dg03$8ua at panix2.panix.com>,

Josh Mittleman <mittle at panix.com> wrote:


>I've tracked back stories sufficiently well to pin down some original

>incidents.  What I'd really like to see here are more first- or second-hand

>accounts.  Did it happen to you?  Did you hear the tale from the person to

>whom it happened (and do you trust that it was accurately told)?


       I've a first-hand account of a long ago and far away place.

Somewhere in Atlantia, north of Storvik, in a place that goes by the

mundane name of Baltimore, there used to be a tavern called the

Purple Hippopotamus. This was a good bar to go to in garb because no one

there would look askance at those in real clothing. (the local gay bar,

BTW) Also, none there would bother ladies who came in accompanied by other

ladies rather than escorted by lords.


       It chanced that one evening a group that I had been with, had been

practicing with quarterstaves and, feeling bruised and thirsty, we decided

to go get a beer or so and have a rest and maybe dance a bit, before

going home for the night. While we were within, a local redneck group

decided to lie in wait outside the door to "bash some fags" (their words,

spoken later to the constabulary).


       Some of us needing to beat the curfew, still, we headed out the

door at a reasonable hour. The night being wet and windy, I suppose that

the villiens can be excused for not noticing that our group included

several ladies. They set upon us with large clubs (i.e.baseball bats) and

morningstars with neither ball nor handle (i.e.tire chains). They were

surprised in their turn for their expectation of beating on those who

would scream and run (nobody in *that* bar! They were pretty clueless!)

were proved groundless, immediately.* Staves proved *much* longer than

their clubs and as we'd been practicing using the staves to disarm those

with flail and/or morningstar... (Hey, this is '76 and we were all into

D&D!) I know that one of them lifted off the ground as I got him from

below with a staff at full length of swing. (satisfying, that!)


      We left before the watch arrived, called by those within. None of

them still stood. I understand that at least one villien had to be taken

to the hospital and that there was much groaning and moaning to be heard

from the constabulary wagon.


--Anja--(I'm usually pretty gentle, but their attitude offends me still!)


*(This was right at the height of the anti-gay yowlings in 1976. It was

pretty common then, for anyone who looked targetable, gay or not, to be

set upon by one of these groups. One of the profs landed in the hopsital

and he was Catholic and had 14 kids!)


... The SCA: A Dream to some, a Knight-mare to others.



From: Cynthia.Ley at f56.n105.z1.fidonet.org (Cynthia Ley)

Newsgroups: rec.org.sca

Subject: Re: Urban Legends (An Tir)

Date: Wed, 31 Aug 1994 20:12:00 -0800


        A number of years ago, in the early days of AnTir, my lord husband

was squired to a great knight and Viscount of the land. He and members of

their Shire, as was their wont, went unto a pizza parlor after an event one

evening. The good Viscount excused himself from table and made his way to

the luxury of the indoor privy. Having once relieved himself, he opened the

door and came face to face with a knife and an oddly dressed

knave demanding all his money. The good Viscount raised his arm as if to

stretch, reached behind his back and pulled out his 5' long greatsword. The

knave broke the window in his frenzied attempt to flee.


        One for the "Now THAT'S a knife" collection long before the phrase

became popular.


        New to the Rialto,

                          HL Arlys o Gordon,

                          Dragon's Mist


Newsgroups: rec.org.sca

From: rzex60 at email.sps.mot.com (Jay Brandt)

Subject: Re: Urban Legends (An Tir)

Organization: The Polyhedron Group

Date: Thu, 1 Sep 1994 19:29:35 GMT


In article <778403702.AA00741 at jina.rain.com>,

Cynthia.Ley at f56.n105.z1.fidonet.org (Cynthia Ley) wrote:


>         A number of years ago, in the early days of AnTir, my lord husband

> was squired to a great knight and Viscount of the land. He and members of

> their Shire, as was their wont, went unto a pizza parlor after an event one

> evening. The good Viscount excused himself from table and made his way to

> the luxury of the indoor privy. Having once relieved himself, he opened the

> door and came face to face with a knife and an oddly dressed

> knave demanding all his money. The good Viscount raised his arm as if to

> stretch, reached behind his back and pulled out his 5' long greatsword. The

> knave broke the window in his frenzied attempt to flee.


>         One for the "Now THAT'S a knife" collection long before the phrase

> became popular.


>         New to the Rialto,

>                           HL Arlys o Gordon,

>                           Dragon's Mist


But Arlys, dear friend, Viscount Sir Auden Ulaffson the Red is such a

-gentle- soul. (heh heh) For those who would get a clear picture of what

the not-so-gentle man with the knife beheld, the Viscount in question is

about 6'4" tall, 220 pounds, with longish dark hair and a full beard. Could

have easily stepped out of a Viking movie, so long as you aren't stuck on

the idea of all Vikings being blond. He is one of those fine folks who can

smile benignly, chuckle lightly, and make you hope to -hell- he isn't mad

at you. Though truth be known, a more kind, courteous and soft-spoken

Knight would be hard to find in all the known world.


I have heard the Viscount's account of the event from his own mouth, but a

few days after it happened, and I recall it well. My Lady, Pegasus Devona,

was also a squire to the same Viscount at the time of that incident. Not to

nay-say you my friend, but as I recall, the blade the Viscount pulled was

'Skeldebitter' (skull-biter), a Viking broadsword at least 36 inches in

length and 3.5" to 4" wide at the base of the blade. Impressive, but not a

greatsword. No doubt however that it looked a mile long to the creep with

the knife.


The knife, incidentally, dropped to the floor of the privy with a clatter

as the would-be felon fled. The Viscount calmly picked it up and gave it to

his wife afterwards, a few minutes later, saying simply. "Here dear. Have a

souvenier." No bravado over the incident. Actually, it took us several days

to get him to tell us the whole of it, as he's rather modest.


Do write to Pegasus and I, Arlys. It's been some time since we've seen each

other, and I'm sure my Lady would enjoy hearing from you, and from her

brother squire, your lord husband. It's been almost a year and a half since

we were last in An Tir, and I for one would like to know how our friends in

your area are faring.


Should I recount the tale of how I met my Lady? (The maiden, the three

knaves, and the crossbowman who came to her aid - I'm sure you recall it).

It does sort of fit into the same vein.



Regards, Jay Brandt --- Austin, Texas, USA --- <rzex60 at email.sps.mot.com>

Motorola,   SPS Sector,   Advanced Products Research and Development Labs

In the SCA, HLS Jason of Rosaria, JdL, GdS, AoA --------- (Member # 3016)

Owner / Designer / Craftsman ------------------------- Bear Paw Woodworks



From: salley at niktow.canisius.edu (David Salley)

Newsgroups: rec.org.sca

Subject: Re: Urban Legends

Date: 4 Sep 94 15:02:04 GMT

Organization: Canisius College, Buffalo NY. 14208


Josh Mittleman <mittle at panix.com> wrote:

>I've tracked back stories sufficiently well to pin down some original

>incidents.  What I'd really like to see here are more first- or second-hand

>accounts.  Did it happen to you?  Did you hear the tale from the person to

>whom it happened (and do you trust that it was accurately told)?


A pair of tales heard from the gentle to whom they happened.  We were

attending an event in Stormsport.  My lady wife went outside for a cigarette,

when I went to join her, I heard the gentle telling these stories, alas,

I never got his name.


Background: he lives in an apartment that is laid out roughly circular,

that is, if you keep going from room to room you can end up back where you

started.  The fire escape is outside the room with the stone fireplace.

He has a fairly extensive weapons collection.


One day he heard a scraping noise coming from the room. He peeked in and

saw a burglar on the fire escape trying to jimmy the window open with a

butter knife.  He took a Japanese horseman's sword from his collection and

went upstairs to the apartment directly above his.  He knocked on the door,

his neighbors opened it, and he said, "Hi, just passing through, I need to

use your fire escape." and stepped out their window onto the fire escape

one floor above the burglar.  He snuck down, and assumed a kata position

directly behind the burglar who was so intent on jimmying the window that he

was oblivious to what was going on behind him.  After waiting a minute, and

realizing the guy wasn't aware of him, he cleared his throat. *ahem!*  The

guy turned around and raised his butter knife overhead as if to stab whoever

was behind him.  He turned and found himself facing someone with three feet

of sharpened steel and a maniacal grin, "Yeah?". The guy dropped the butter

knife and fled down the fire escape, screaming.  The fire escape was

counter-balanced so that nothing was at the first story level.  You're

supposed to trip the lever and wait for the fire escape to unfold.  This

isn't fast enough when you're being chased by a man with a sword.  He

tripped the lever and ran out on the overhang projection. When he got past

a certain point, his own weight became part of the counterweights and the

thing operated at double speed, throwing him to the pavement, knocking him

unconscious.  The scadian went back upstairs, put away the sword and called

the cops.  The guy was still unconscious when they came to pick him up.


Second story; same apartment about two years later.  He and his wife heard

voices coming from the room and realized someone had broken in.  He quietly

telephoned the cops and then gave his wife a sword.  He took a pair of

short axes and halfway around the apartment.  He screamed "Kill!", hit the

lights with his elbow and he and his wife ran into the room screaming and

swinging weapons.  The two burglars dropped their loot, turn and fled.

One ran into the fireplace and knocked himself out.  The other dived through

the window onto the fire escape.  The window was closed. When the police

arrived, they took the unconscious burglar with a lump on his head the

size of a hen's egg to the emergency room.  The intern told them, "We'll

be with you in a few minutes, we got a guy in the other room that just went

through a window."  One cop stays with Hen's-egg, the other goes back to

get the scadian.  The cop and the scadian walk into the emergency room

and the burglar who's getting more than fifty stitches, takes one look

at the scadian and screams out, "B-B-B-battleaxe!".  The cop said, "It's

nice when the victim can identify the perp, but it's wonderful when the

perp can identify the victim!" ;-)


                                                       - Dagonell


SCA Persona : Lord Dagonell Collingwood of Emerald Lake, CSC, CK, CTr

Habitat           : East Kingdom, AEthelmearc Principality, Rhydderich Hael Barony

Internet    : salley at niktow.cs.canisius.edu

USnail-net  : David P. Salley, 136 Shepard Street, Buffalo, New York 14212-2029



From: kellogg at ucssun1.sdsu.edu (kellogg)

Newsgroups: rec.org.sca

Subject: Re: Urban legends

Date: 8 Sep 1994 15:25:27 GMT

Organization: San Diego State University Computing Services


Jill Mason (Jill.Mason at f56.n105.z1.fidonet.org) wrote:

: A legend circulating around Caid a few years ago involves Sir Frewind

: He is a martial artist and very capable of taking care of himself one

: day as he was in Los Angeles or other large So Cal city he answered a

: lady's cry for help comming from an alleywhen he went to investigate he

: was jumped my two rather burly guys (the"lady" being a decoy) they

: managed to throw him down in a corner of the alley, he reached back and

: his hand rested on a pipe about 3 feet long... The story ends there but

: according to the truth of the matter is that once he had the pipe he

: managed to save himself his belongings and his car. Hope you enjoy this

: bye Jill Blackhorse now of anTir.


        Another, more humorous legend has Freewind sitting at a bus stop,

in full armor, waiting to catch a bus to a tourney.  A woman sitting at the

other end of the bench just keeps staring at him. Finally, Freewind starts

yelling into his wrist, "Jim, you were supposed to drop me in the 15th

century!  When the hell am I?  Get me out of here!".


               Avenel Kellough



From: salley at niktow.canisius.edu (David Salley)

Newsgroups: rec.org.sca

Subject: Re: Pennsic on TV

Date: 18 Sep 94 14:35:34 GMT

Organization: Canisius College, Buffalo NY. 14208


Lothar writes:

>      In this case I'd be very leery of letting a camera crew into an

> SCA event unless I knew damned-well where they were from, what they were

> doing, and how they intended to portray the SCA. In addition to being much

> more intrusive, TV crews are much more likely to go for sensationalism or

> humor at our expense.


        At Ice Dragon 8 (9?), a news crew was told they could film.  The

camera man stepped over the list ropes into the list and turned on a rack

with _eight_ floods on it, blinding both fighters.  The marshall, Lord Gavin,

now Duke Gavin, said one word, "Out."  The cameraman replied, "Press.  I

have a right to be here."  Gavin, and his two deputies, Lord Hak (now Syr Hak)

and Lord Bear (now Viscount Bear) dropped their batons and converged on him.

(We're talking some 800+ lbs of beef on the hoof, here) The cameraman

figured they were bluffing and stayed where he was.  They picked him up and

carried him out of the list, out of the hall and out of the building and

put him down.  They passed the reporter running out as they walked back in.

Gavin started walking over to the autocrat to explain when the autocrat who

had seen everything merely said, "Thank you." At the post-revel that night,

we waited in dread for the evening news.  It was _gorgeous film_ of fighters

and feasters that he couldn't possibly have had time to shoot.  We were

puzzled by this until someone spoke out, "Hey, I wore that garb _last_ year."

We have no idea who our guardian angel at the station was.


                                                       - Dagonell


SCA Persona : Lord Dagonell Collingwood of Emerald Lake, CSC, CK, CTr

Habitat           : East Kingdom, AEthelmearc Principality, Rhydderich Hael Barony

Internet    : salley at niktow.cs.canisius.edu

USnail-net  : David P. Salley, 136 Shepard Street, Buffalo, New York 14212-2029



From: MCNUTT at gateway.ce.utk.edu (Bill McNutt)

Newsgroups: rec.org.sca

Subject: Re: Freaking the Mundanes?  But why?

Date: Wed, 19 Oct 1994 11:37:03 UNDEFINED

Organization: University of Tennessee Division of Continuing Education


In article <1994Oct14.185655.29681 at brtph560.bnr.ca> napier at b4pph17f.bnr.ca (napier) writes:


>1) Freak the Laurel:  Make really beautiful garb out of polyester (I never said

>                      it was easy...)


The Legendary Lord Joel Dolittle, Parchment Persuivant of Meridies, has done

this to the greatest effect I have ever seen.  He made a hoopelande (sp?) out

of a nursery room curtain fabric.  It's primary colors were a sort of magenta

and yellow, and it was a jungle print.  All covered with lions and tigers, no

bears (oh my.)  And he did a GREAT job of it.  He wore it to a Silver Hammer

one Friday night, and Mistress Ashley, whom you cannot get to talk nasty at

spear's point, bit her tounge until it bled.


>2) Freak the Bard:    Learn Stairway to Heaven on the bagpipes.


Here in Meridies, the music for RockyTop has been know to waft above the hills.



Newsgroups: rec.org.sca

From: jgawron at hpb12262.boi.hp.com (Joe Gawron)


Date: Fri, 28 Oct 1994 17:58:03 GMT

Organization: Boise Site, Hewlett-Packard Co


In <783158453.AA02219 at jina.rain.com>, Suze.Hammond at f56.n105.z1.fidonet.org (Suze Hammond) writes:

> to> From: torin.ironbrow at sfnet.COM

> to> Newsgroups: rec.org.sca

> to> Organization: SF NET San Francisco's Coffee House Connection


> to> Greeting to the Rialto and Brendan ap Morgan:

> to> You may be intersted to know that while talking to Hillary a

> to> few months back about the Barony of Arn Hold stamping out the fire, she


>Hey, tell us more!


>No fair leaving us wondering like this!


        Well Met!


        OK, here goes, if my ##poster works this time.


        The Barony of Arn Hold is nominally Boise, ID and surroundings. We have a couple of events each year up in the IMO rather lovely forests to our north.  Note that we are on the edge of a desert, and the last few years have been *very* dry.  

        On Sunday, while packing up, one of our number noticed a flare-up from a thunderstorm the previous night.  He called the alarm and the remaining able-bodied folk all went to help contain the fire, until the Forest Service could be notified, and respond.  As I'm told, it took the FS an hour or so to get there, by which time the fire was pretty well under control.

        The FS people got our names and where we could be reached later.  Some months, (4?) our seneschal got this nice letter thanking us for our help.

        I wasn't there, having had some child problems the previous day and gone home,  but I have seen the letter, and heard the tales.  I can ask for the text of the letter, and post that if you would like more....


        Joy and Health to all


        Arn Hold


>.... Moreach



From: Joe Bethancourt (7/3/94)

To: Mark Harris

RE>SCA Estrella War XI


On Sun, 3 Jul 1994, Mark Harris wrote:


> Hi Ioseph,


> In article <2uph8m$q8n at herald.indirect.com> you write:

> >Matthew J. Lecin (lecin at sysdev.telerate.COM) wrote:

> >: Dennis Clark <dlc at fc.hp.com> writes concerning Estrella Next:

> >

> >:    More showers? 8*()

> >

> >: and appends:

> >

> >:    Any ideas about what the disaster dejour should be this year?

> >

> >: How about a nice flash flood?  Takes care of both requests...  ;-)

> >

> >hehehe! Actually, if any gentles are intending to attend Estrella XI, I

> >would advise being ready for heat, cold, rain, wind and occasional

> >(believe it or not) snow.

> >

> >The weather in AZ in February has a remarkable tendency to be a bit ...

> >unpredictable. But it just adds to the fun.

> >

> >The flying dome tent last year -was- the best one yet, tho.


Well.......somebody didn't stake down their dome tent, and a dust devil

picked it up and played with it for about ten minutes, at heights of

about 100 feet, before dropping it again in front of Wolfetwain's camp.


Stopped the whole War (at least on the north side of the site) while

everyone watched and laughed.


locksley at indirect.com           PO Box 35190       Locksley Plot Systems

White Tree Productions      Phoenix, AZ 85069 USA         CyberMongol Ltd


Newsgroups: rec.org.sca

From: locksley at indirect.com (Joe Bethancourt)

Subject: Re: Sca in desert storm

Organization: Internet Direct, indirect.com

Date: Mon, 19 Dec 1994 06:13:54 GMT


Bill Herron (Bill.Herron at casa.ima.infomail.com) wrote:

:  -=> Quoting Jari James to All <=-


: Greetings, Rowan!


:  JJ> [who got to take a war banner of the Barony with Her done in

:  JJ> desert subdued colors ... and *boy*, didn't that confuse

:  JJ> the Army.......]


: Are >you< the one who got that started?  (And I thought it was an SCA

: legend...)


: A friend of mine, who was with the medical groups near King Kahlid, told

: me that he keep seeing SCA-style armory displayed around him.  He even

: relayed a story about some of the forward Army units carrying SCA-style

: devices in desert camouflage during the march.  But that part was

: many-personed (as opposed to first- or second-person...)


: Ld. William FitzBubba

: Namron, Ansteorra


If you attend Estrella War, ask to see the Barony of SunDragon's Kingdom

Ensign.....and read the yellow ribbons attached thereon.


It was there.



locksley at indirect.com           PO Box 35190       Locksley Plot Systems

White Tree Productions      Phoenix, AZ 85069 USA         CyberMongol Ltd



Newsgroups: rec.org.sca

From: locksley at indirect.com (Joe Bethancourt)

Subject: Re: Apocryphal Stories

Organization: Internet Direct, indirect.com

Date: Sat, 31 Dec 1994 17:38:15 GMT


Corrie Bergeron (corrie at solutions.solon.com) wrote:


: Speaking of crowd control, a young squire in Houston joined the police.  

: One day in nightstick class (this was before they switched to tonfas, and

: were just using batons) our hero was not paying very close attention.  

: After all, he KNEW how to use a short sword!  The instructor noticed and

: called him up.  "Yew seim nawt tuhbe payin vahry close attention, sun.  

: Here.  Yew jus' TRAH tuh hit me with this here stick."  "You really want

: me to hit you, Sarge?"  "Thayets whut ah said, sun."  "OK, sir."  And the

: young man faked to the leg and tapped the seargant on the back of the

: head with a wrap shot.  "SHEEAIIT!  Trah thet agayin!"  "Yes, sir."  And

: he did so.  "Sheeyayit, sun.  Yew kin teach this class."  And he did.


Heh! Back a few years ago, I and my good friend Baron Sir Ivanof von Schloss

were partners as Juvie Probation officers. All POs were required to take

a class in 'self-defense,' and we rather enjoyed it...and then came the

session on defense against knives.....the instructor asked for two volunteers

to attack him with rubber knives, so Ivanof and I volunteered. He went right,

I went left, and we promptly killed him.


He looked at us kinda funny, and said "Do that again." So we did.


We wound up helping to teach that session of the class.


Funny part was, we asked him later if he knew Officer <N> of the Phoenix

PD, and he said "Ah...yes....are you guys in that medieval group too? I

shoulda known!"


locksley at indirect.com           PO Box 35190       Locksley Plot Systems

White Tree Productions      Phoenix, AZ 85069 USA         CyberMongol Ltd



From: salley at niktow.canisius.edu (David Salley)

Newsgroups: rec.org.sca

Subject: Re: Apocryphal Stories

Date: 1 Jan 95 18:46:08 GMT

Organization: Canisius College, Buffalo NY. 14208


Ioseph of Locksley (Joe Bethancourt) writes:

> Corrie Bergeron (corrie at solutions.solon.com) wrote:

> : [Story of SCAdian police cadet deleted for space ]

> [Additional story of SCAdian probation officers also deleted for space ]


The police cadets were told, at the end of baton class, to practice hitting

the dummies.  "Don't worry about hitting them too hard, they're unbreakable."

Cadet James Elliot waited in line, took his turn, and with the wristsnap

that won him two Crown Tournies, Barak Elandris Duke Sir Hanno von Halstern

separated the dummy's head from his neck.  The instructor turned at the sound

of the head rebounding off the far wall.  "What did you do?"  "I just hit it,

Sir."  "You can't break them like that with just the baton, Liar!"  

**wristsnap!**  The dummy's left arm also went flying.  The instructor stood

there dumbstruck.  "Don't teach the others how to do that, please!"


                                                       - Dagonell


SCA Persona : Lord Dagonell Collingwood of Emerald Lake, CSC, CK, CTr

Habitat           : East Kingdom, AEthelmearc Principality, Rhydderich Hael Barony

Internet    : salley at niktow.cs.canisius.edu

USnail-net  : David P. Salley, 136 Shepard Street, Buffalo, New York 14212-2029



From: JARI.JAMES at rook.wa.com (jari james)

Newsgroups: rec.org.sca

Subject: Re: Apocryphal Stories

Date: Sat, 31 Dec 1994 22:18:54 GMT

Organization: Knight-Line! (206) 565-0594


-=> Quoting Lee at bio-3.bsd.uchicago.ed to All <=-


Le> So there's this male Eastern fighter who happens to be a nurse.

Le> He only has a motorcycle, so he wears his armor to go to some event.

Le> On the way he sees an accident, and stops. Imagine the injured

Le> woman who looks up and sees a "Knight in Shining Armor" (tm) running

Le> down the hill to her overturned car saying "it's OK, I'm a nurse!"


Le> Winifred de Schyppewallebotham


I can identify with this one.  I wasn't in armour, but I was in garb.

The patients tolorated things quite well.   The *police* on the other



I think it might have been because I had a bigger knife than they did.......


Rowan [a seme' of medical initials go here...



Subject: Re: Apocryphal Stories

Newsgroups: rec.org.sca

From: kwilliam at kbbs.com

Date: Wed, 04 Jan 95 10:22:57 EST

Organization: KBBS - Internet & Files via Satellite  


*more along the lines of semi-apocryphal "SCA Duke and the Police



This one made the rounds of Caid a few years ago.  Seems that when Duke

Hanno 'turned out' of the Academy as a bona-fide LAPD rookie, he got

hisself trapped in a dead-end alley with nowhere to go but through the

perp rapidly advancing on him.  The perp grinned evilly and drew a

longish knife, however Hanno immediately snatched the riot stick off his

belt and laid the dude out with a well placed rising snap.


And upon writing up his report on the incident was promptly chewed out

by his superior officer as LAPD guidelines in this instance required him

to *draw his gun and shoot the guy with the knife*. Escalation is

regarded very dimly by the Los Angeles Police Department.


ciorstan macAmhlaidh, CHA, AoA

Lyondemere, Caid



From: mchance at crl.com (Michael A. Chance)

Newsgroups: rec.org.sca

Subject: Re: Identification Friend/Foe

Date: 13 Jan 1995 07:32:28 -0800

Organization: CRL Dialup Internet Access


Hal Ravn writes:


>Locally, one of our people works for a company that inspects and

>tags equipment.  At one war the armor inspection stickers were

>orange and said "Rejected" on them....


There was an event a couple of years ago in the Shire of Riviere

Constelle (Evansville, IN) commemorating the Battle of Stamford

Bridge, where all of the fighters in the Norse side got stickers that

said "Grade A Sausage", placed on the helm by the Queen herself.


Mikjal Annarbjorn


Michael A. Chance          St. Louis, Missouri, USA   "At play in the fields

Work: mc307a at sw1stc.sbc.com                             of St. Vidicon"

Play: mchance at crl.com



From: salley at niktow.canisius.edu (David Salley)

Newsgroups: rec.org.sca

Subject: Re: Discussion about the SCA

Date: 24 Jan 95 20:56:32 GMT

Organization: Canisius College, Buffalo NY. 14208


Edward (Mark A. Cochran) writes:

> salley at niktow.canisius.edu (David Salley) writes:

>>Agnes of Ilford (Patricia Shanahan) writes:

>>> JPilcher at msmail.radisys.COM (Jim Pilcher) writes:

>>>> agility, which  sorts for intelligence and good self esteem


>>> I had never heard before of the idea that manual dexterity is a measure

>>> of IQ. Considering my degree of manual dexterity, if that were valid I

>>> would be in need of special education.


>>Hey, waitaminnuit!  I kinda like the idea.  All of us jugglers would be

>>rightfully acknowledged as geniuses! ;-) ;-)  Of course, if I'm so bright,

>>why do I practice juggling live steel? ;-)

> Because there is no correlation between intelligence and wisdom?

> Or perhaps you're just hoping to be the first ever to have his fingers

> reattached in the field, using only medieval tools? (Now, how would I

> best document this for our A&S people?)


Funny you should mention that...


At the Hael's Masked Ball event, I was practicing my juggling outside near

where the smokers were.  There's a Viking who has learned enough juggling

to steal balls from the juggler and return them.  'Of course I steal, I'm a

Viking, it's in the job description!"  He was standing there smoking and

out of the corner of his eye, he saw me juggling an apple. He put out his

cigarette against his shoe sole and came racing towards me.  He raised his

hands to the clutch position and stopped as if he hit glass wall.  I was

juggling an apple ... and an egg ... and live steel with a six-inch blade. ;-)


He pulled his hands back, looked at his fingers and said, "No, I don't think

so.  I don't want the Chirurgeons re-attaching them using only period

techniques."  The smokers all started laughing. ;-) As he walked away from

me, I heard a lady's voice, "Dagonell, that's not a _real_ blade is it?"

I caught the knife in my right hand, the egg in my left and then turned the

knife point up and the apple impaled itself on the blade. The applause was

wonderful. ;-)


                                                       - Dagonell


SCA Persona : Lord Dagonell Collingwood of Emerald Lake, CSC, CK, CTr

Habitat           : East Kingdom, AEthelmearc Principality, Rhydderich Hael Barony

Internet    : salley at niktow.cs.canisius.edu  

USnail-net  : David P. Salley, 136 Shepard Street, Buffalo, New York 14212-2029



Newsgroups: rec.org.sca

From: hlf at holmes.acc.Virginia.EDU (H L. Falls)

Subject: Re: YKYITSCAW......

Organization: University of Virginia

Date: Tue, 14 Mar 1995 16:47:38 GMT


In article <19950313151846UDSD073 at DSIBM.OKLADOT.STATE.OK.US>,

Mike Andrews <udsd007 at dsibm.okladot.state.ok.us> wrote:



>You're at work, a salesman calls on the phone to sell you some lab

>equipment, and you respond with "Good morning, Your Majesty!" -

>because you recognize his voice. And then _he_ says "Good morning,

>Your Excellency!" because he recognized yours.


>It happened to our Baroness.



>udsd007 at ibm.okladot.state.ok.us   (

>Michael Fenwick of Fotheringhay, O.L. (Mike Andrews) Namron, Ansteorra


   This reminds me of an old tale...  Many years ago, when Sir Alaric

was King of the East, he chanced (in mundane guise, of course) to attend

a Banking Seminar at the local University.  It further chanced that his

waitress one night happened to be a Lady of the shire, who promptly

dropped a curtsey and bid him "Good evening, Your Majesty!", then left

him to explain to a table-full of banking executives just what _that_

was all about!  :-)





From: uratlord at mcl.ucsb.edu (Mark Stoddard)

Newsgroups: rec.org.sca

Subject: YKYITSCAW...

Date: 12 Apr 1995 23:31:19 GMT

Organization: University of California, Santa Barbara


One day I decided to buy some steel to make a new helm.  I called around

to find a place that carried 14 guage steel.  One of the calls went

something like:

        Me: I'm looking for some sheet metal...

        Shop clerk: We've got a wide range of guages, 24, 22, 20 and 18.

        Me:  Well, I was looking for 14 guage.

        Shop clerk: What are you making, armor?


A few days later I was traveling by train back home, carrying my armor of

course.  I put down my bag to rest with a slight clank. Somebody near by

asked me, "What do you have in there, armor?"


Hmm... They were both suprised to find out they were right...


                                      Dreaming in a mundane world,

                                             Milan Ivanovich

                                             Shire of Isles, Caid



From: jfoxdavis at aol.com (J FoxDavis)

Newsgroups: rec.org.sca


Date: 18 Apr 1995 14:33:49 -0400

Organization: America Online, Inc. (1-800-827-6364)


You spend the two days without power after an earthquake dining on

leftover tourney or banquet munchies that were _still_ in the ice chest

Monday morning anyway, and have no problems with no power, because you've

got enough propane for the barbeque and blankets. cloaks, etc for the

bed., and light's no problem because of the plethora of candle lanterns,

and you've stockpiled enough water for the war next month already, so you

drink that......


Jared, in Caid, who lived through the Northridge quake....

Jim Fox-Davis              |Whatever you can do, or dream

Circle of the Spiral Tower |you can, begin it, for boldness

J FoxDavis at aol.com         |has genius, power, and magic in

J.FoxDavis at genie.geis.com  |it -- Nietzsche



From: corrie at solutions.solon.com (Corrie Bergeron)

Newsgroups: rec.org.sca

Subject: Re: YKYITSCAW...

Date: 19 Apr 1995 06:48:09 GMT

Organization: Solutions Online


Thomas Hudson (hudson at cs.unc.edu) wrote:

: >In article <3momjn$e1 at giga.bga.com>, J'lynn Yeates <jyeates at bga.com> wrote:

: >>... true "creative anachronism" is getting to a fighting tourney on two

: >>wheels (been a while though)


:   ... when it's your muscles powering the wheels!


Long time back, a fellow name of Tivar (now Master Don Tivar,

thank-you-very-much!) used to ride his bicycle to swash practice in

Austin, TX.  tights, Doublet, cape, and using the rapier to fend off the

neighborhood dogs.


Later, he was engaged by a local repertory company to stage the fight

scenes in a Shakespeare production.  After one dress rehearsal he was

loading up the microbus (he was single atthe time), and a fellow comes up

to him and says, "Hey!  I've been looking for you for years!  You're in

the SCA, right?"


To which Chris replied with a slow, savoring smile,


     "No, my good man.  I'm in a play."


True story.


Corrie Bergeron     Brendan O Corraidhe

corrie at solon.com



Newsgroups: rec.org.sca

Subject: Re: The Nature of Pennsic (Was: Leave Pennsic by Noon Sunday?)

From: una at bregeuf.stonemarche.org (Honour Horne-Jaruk)

Date: Mon, 15 May 95 18:34:39 EDT


HAROLD.FELD at hq.doe.GOV writes:


>      For example, if clean up is a problem, perhaps a compromise is getting

>      folks who stay later to pitch in with the clean up.  I am willing to

>      bet you could get a reasonable number of volunteers by *asking* for

>      folks to stay a day or two as Pennsic clean-up squad.  (As a side

>      point, this might also give us the man-power to turn some of the stuff

>      collected over to organizations like United Way. I remeber someone

>      posting a rather moving scene of the workers hired to clean-up after

>      Twenty-Five Year weeping over the amount of perfectly usable goods

>      they were forbidden to take home (we're talking poor migrant workers

>      here) because of their companies policy on scavenging.)

>      Yaakov

        Respected friend:

        The post you are remembering was mine, but the incident occured at

the twentieth, not the twenty-fifth, anniversary. I was at TFYC; and on the

last day, as we were leaving, gnarled old men in spit-and-bailing-wire pickups

were driving in waving and grinning. I like to think that my advance letters

to the Autocrats, and article in the on-site newspaper, contributed to this

happy occurrence.

        One scene I recall with particular joy: Man in old Stetson in truck,

to man in old Stetson loading parts of a Baronial gate onto other truck:

        "Hey, Wiley, what on earth do you s'pose that was?"

Answer: "Got no clue what it was, but it's gonna be a room for the


        _That's_ how it should _always_ work.

        Remember: your "Useless too-heavy out-of-period ugly excuse for a

sleeping bag" is some Goodwill or Salvation Army customer's "My kids won't get

pneumonia this winter!".

        Please, everybody: Think about it.


                                Yours in service to the Society-

                                (Friend) Honour Horne-Jaruk R.S.F.

                                Alizaunde, Demoiselle de Bregeuf C.O.L. SCA

                                Una Wicca (That Pict)


        If you are doing your best, and your best isn't very good, that's

life. If you aren't bothering to do your best, no matter how good what you're

doing is, that's cheating.



From: Kim.Salazar at em.doe.GOV

Newsgroups: rec.org.sca

Subject: YKYITSCA...

Date: 25 May 1995 11:57:46 -0400

Organization: The Internet


     While I was perusing Ian Odlin's collection of YKYITSCA tales (to my

     great amusement), I was surprised to find my name:


          "Many years ago, Ianthe and Fernando had been practicing

          in their back-yard.  When Ianthe went to her doctor for a

          routine checkup, he asked how she got all the bruises.  

          Without thinking she said, "My husband and I were

          fighting."  She had a hard time explaining the difference

          between _fighting_ and *fighting* to her doctor. [Bjorn




     Master Bjorn's story is a concatenation of two true incidents:


     1.  One Monday after returning from a particularly vigorous war

     practice, I had an appointment at my women's clinic. I had been using

     a new smaller shield for the first time.  My leading leg was a plaid

     of purple stripes that showed the area I wrongly THOUGHT my shield had

     covered.  The doctor raised an eyebrow at the time of the exam, but

     said nothing.  


     Shortly after that, the clinic's counselor came in and took my hand.  

     She looked into my eyes with understanding and deep pity, and said "We

     women don't have to put up with this any more - would you like to sign

     a complaint against *him*?"



     2.  Don Fernando, confronted by the intense cold of a Carolingian

     winter, had taken to doing his evening sword practice indoors.  At the

     time, he lived in a very tiny garret style room in a converted attic.  

     I was sitting with my feet up on the arm of his venerable easy chair,

     reading a book and munching an apple.  He did sword cuts up and down

     the four-foot length of the room, then whirled (forgetting that I was

     there) and brought the wooden blade down square upon my perching toes.


     The pain was so severe we trundled off to the emergency room.  The

     admitting interviewer asked how I was injured - "My boyfriend hit me

     with his stick," I said without thinking.  


     "Were you fighting?" she asked, glaring at Fernando.


     "No.  Just practicing," he answered innocently.  


     She turned to me, rolled her eyes, and replied, "Honey, I don't want

     to see what happens when you get it right."


     -Ianthe d'Averoigne, OR, OL                   kim.salazar at em.doe.gov

     Who married Count Fernando, in spite of

     the Unfortunate Toe Incident



From: ldwulfgar at aol.com (Ld Wulfgar)

Newsgroups: rec.org.sca

Subject: Re: YKYNISCA

Date: 2 Jun 1995 05:03:24 -0400

Organization: America Online, Inc. (1-800-827-6364)


> "Are you one uv those middle-evil guys?"


Heh. Yeah, I've heard that one. My buddy replied "No, I'm higher-evil.

He's lower-evil."

<sigh>... Yet another bad PR incident :^)

Also loved was the guy yelling at us (on our way back from fight practice)

to "Wake up! It's the ninteenth century, ya know!" (ROTFLMAO!)


Lord Wulfgar Silberber




Newsgroups: rec.org.sca

Subject: Flying domes (We're not in KS anymore...)

Date: 10 Jul 1995 18:57:23 -0400

Organization: The Internet


Bart l'Wolfe [Cary Riall <criall at indirect.com>] writes:

   > does anyone remember the flying dome at Estrella two or three

   > years ago?  It stopped the field battle cold while we watched it

   > rocket fully two hundred feet in the air, spilling shorts and

   > tunics the whole time. We applauded as it crashed, and as if in

   > answer, it zoomed up again.


(confirming: two Estrella's ago, 1994)


There was a large group of us in the Heralds' Consulting Tent at the

time.  We heard this incredible cheer (presumably every fighter out on

the war field) and looked outside to see the flying dome tent.

Someone noticed a heraldic banner still attached to the dome and

heralds started trying to identify owner of the dome by the emblazon!


I'm told there were plently of on-field comments to the effect of

"I don't think we're in Kansas anymore, Toto!"


Eilidh Swann of Strathlachlan  *  Darach Shire, Caid (Ventura, CA)

Christine (Cat) McGlothlin     *  Production Editor, Journals

cat_mcglothlin at sagepub.com     *  Sage Publications, Inc.

Quarterly sable and Or, a swan rousant wings displayed counterchanged.



Newsgroups: rec.org.sca

From: bq214 at FreeNet.Carleton.CA (Andrew C. Murdoch)

Subject: Re: Seeing Braveheart in Garb

Organization: The National Capital FreeNet

Date: Fri, 14 Jul 1995 04:38:25 GMT


When the local gentles of Seagirt went to see Braveheart in garb,one of us

got really enthusiastic and wore his mostly metal heavy fighting armour

into the show. He got a large amount of laughter and applause from the

rest of the audience when he got up to go to the bathroom during the show,

going clank,clank,clank up the aisle.


Colin of Skye


mundanely known as...


Hail,Centurion!            "Love is that condition in which the happiness

Andrew C. Murdoch            of another person is essential to your own."

bq214 at freenet.carleton.ca                            - Robert A. Heinlein



From: Alex_Hart at mindlink.bc.ca (Alex Hart)

Newsgroups: rec.org.sca

Subject: Re: Those Magnificent Gentles and Their Flying Dome-Tents

Date: Mon, 10 Jul 95 17:50:00 -0700

Organization: MIND LINK! - British Columbia, Canada


Sounds like crown some years ago in Lions Gate here in An Tir.

During one court, a hot air baloon floated over looking to land.

As it appeeared they might be headed towrads a swamp, alot of us rushed

from court to try and rescue them (Honestly the thought of the champagne

they supposedly carry for every trip never entered my mind - well not too

much anyhow0

Seeing the multitude of people in funny clothes running their way (and

several gentles had swords etc) they poured on the fuel and were out of

there thus spoiling my chance at helping to quaff champagne.

Sorry -  make that rescue people form the swamp !


Alastair the Eastern Traveller

Lions Gate, An Tir



From: ae766 at yfn.ysu.edu (David Sanders)

Newsgroups: rec.org.sca

Subject: Re: tents blowing away was: (those darn )viking tents

Date: 19 Jul 1995 15:20:19 GMT

Organization: St. Elizabeth Hospital, Youngstown, OH


In a previous article, VUGC52A at prodigy.com (Dana Tweedy) says:


>Yurts may hold up well against winds, but I remember back at Pennsic 17

>or 18, I saw a yurt flattened by a Dodge van.   The van, parked on Horde,

>hill lost its brakes early in the morning and rolled over the yurt.  The

>only thing that kept it from running down the hill and flattening more

>tents was a large army surplus cooler that had been once used to hold

>human blood.      Luckily no one was badly injured. There were two

>"shadows" in the grass where two dome tents had been.  A set of tire

>tracks ran through both shadows.


I arrived on the scene shortly after the incident.  I was staying in Horde

camp, and if I'm not mistaken it was Sunday, and people were striking camp.

I remember the laughter, because that cooler had stopped the van just short

of a still-sleeping body.  From under the mass of wood and canvas was heard:


     "I've just got to get a new wake-up service!"



ae766 at yfn.ysu.edu


P.S.  That quote is from the people who were there.  As I said, I arrived

a few minutes after the incident.  Unless, of course, there were more than

one such incident.  People were still laughing about it when I arrived.



From: brgarwood at aol.com (BRgarwood)

Newsgroups: rec.org.sca

Subject: Re: YKYITSCAW

Date: 31 Jul 1995 12:03:53 -0400


teachmrt at aol.com (Teach Mr T) writes:

>You're on your way to an event and need a coffee.


>Since you are in garb, you don't stop at the local doughnut shop (you are

>after all a well-respected teacher).


My companions and I were on our way from our crash space to an event in

Silfren Mere. (Rochester, Minnesota).  On the way we stopped, in garb, at

the local Mister Donut shop.  The first words from the clerks mouth were .

. . . . . "Are you guys from North Dakota?"



Rudivale, Thats in North Dakota.



From: djheydt at uclink.berkeley.edu (Dorothy J Heydt)

Newsgroups: rec.org.sca

Subject: Clothes, no clothes, bad clothes, etc. (was: Novels)

Date: 2 Aug 1995 22:38:54 GMT

Organization: University of California, Berkeley


[Various good bad examples of OOP clothing in cover art snipped]


Countess Adrienne of Toledo (Adrienne Martine-Barnes) wrote an

excellent fantasy called _The Fire Sword_ in which the heroine

was transported to an alternate 12th century England.  She spent

most of her time in T-tunics; occasionally she had a cloak; part

of the time she was stark naked (magic protected her when her hut

burnt down, but it didn't protect the clothes, see).


"But where," Adrienne wailed when she saw the cover, "where in

the entire book will you find her in a muslin bikini?"


(Maybe the artist had intended to paint her starkers and somebody

chickened out?)


There is in Berkeley a guy famous for going around starkers

whenever he can get away with it (which is not very often any

more, since the City Council passed a law against it).  He came

to an SCA event once.  They tell me he actually did show up in

the buff, and the Autocrat came over and told him in no uncertain

terms that this was not Berkeley, that there were children about,

and that if he didn't want to get his ass busted into jail so

fast the rest of him would have to catch up by Pony Express, he'd

better put some clothing on it.


When I saw him, Friday evening, he was wearing a loincloth and a

pair of sandals.


On Saturday I saw him in a pair of baggy pants and a pair of



By Sunday he had added a little bolero and a hat.  If we'd had

long enough to work on him, we probably could've gotten him fully



And then he could get a job posing for covers of romance novels--

he is in fairly decent shape (gad! he'd better be).  He'd better

grow his hair back in, though.


The amusing thing is that nobody tipped him off to try arguing

that nakedness is period (Adam, etc.).


As Mistress Eilis remarked to Mistress Katherine Saturday

morning, as they watched him doing calisthenics at the edge of

the Eric, "There are nudists, and then there are exhibitionists.

He's an exhibitionist."


Dorothy J. Heydt

djheydt at uclink.berkeley.edu  

University of California




From: lila at lynx.CO.NZ (Lila Richards)

Newsgroups: rec.org.sca

Subject: In a play? (Well, not quite)

Date: 16 Aug 1995 09:47:12 -0400

Organization: The Internet


A group from the Shire of Southron Gaard had been to a performance of the

movie, "The Navigator", before which we had done a dance demo.  Afterwards,

we returned to the parking building where our cars were parked, to find the

lift (ie. elevator) doors had jammed, with a lift full of shoppers trapped

inside, panicking and running short of air.  With great presence of mind,

one of our fighters thrust the blade of his sword between the doors and

managed to wedge them apart a little - enough to provide some air (and a

friendly voice) until the experts arrived.  Needless to say, he was the

champion of *that* event!


Caitlin ni Cumhaill na Cruachan,

Shire of Southron Gaard, Southernmost Land of the Kingdom of Caid.


Lila Richards, PO Box 13715, Christchurch, New Zealand.   Email: lila at lynx.co.nz



From: Ron Wood <ron>

Newsgroups: rec.org.sca

Subject: Re: YKYITSCAW

Date: 22 Aug 1995 17:51:37 GMT

Organization: CE-CERT


I was actually there for this one:


In the (then) shire of Wurm Wald (Champaigne-Urbana Illinois), at the festival

of maidens tournament, I think it was the winter of 1974-75, I had just been

qualified to fight in the SCA.  On Sunday, I went to lunch with Bjorn Rigmorson

and Halfdan Greenleaf at an IHOP in town.  Now Halfdan really looked the part

of a viking, with long curly hair and an enormous beard. He even had a helm

with horns (I know, but they really do look nice). Anyway, the waitress came

over to our table and asked for our orders, Halfdan, in a gruff voice said

"Meat!"  The waitress, non-plussed, asked him how he would like his meat.  He

made a great show of pulling a quarter out of his pouch, flipped it, then, in

the same gruff voice said, "Cooked!"


Yes, I've heard this story told back to me in many forms; it does make a very

good apocryphal story.  But on my honor, I was there and witnessed it.  But I

also believe that a story is a living, vibrant thing, and should grow and

flourish with each retelling.  Why let truth get in the way of a good story? I

also realize that in the years since this incident, and possibly the years

before, many people have done the same thing, and spawned more "urban legends"

concerning this same story.


Wolf Egilsson aka Greywolf aka Hey You!

of the Drafn Warband, Calafia, Caid


Ron Wood, Systems Administrator CE-CERT, UCR




From: holsten at nature.berkeley.edu (Donna Holsten)

Newsgroups: rec.org.sca


Date: Thu, 7 Sep 1995 11:49:27

Organization: UC Berkeley


At the beginning of the summer I was at an event with my two dogs.  I was

wearing a 16th cen German gown, complete with hat.  I decided to take the

dogs for a walk in the woodsy area--we got at least about 1/2 mile from the

event area.  I had let the dogs off-leash (one is a Rott, and one is a

small, black fuzzy dog) when I noticed two people on horses.  The dogs are

both good with horses, but the people were giving me funny looks, so I

called the dogs to me.  The people still kept looking at me, and I got

annoyed that they were angry--after all, I had the dogs under control.  It

*honestly* took me *two* days to realize that the funny looks weren't

because of the dogs, but because of the garb.


Joanna (and Calvin the Rott, and Eleanora the Schipperke)



From: wwwaft at access2.digex.net (Dexter Guptill)

Newsgroups: rec.org.sca

Subject: Re: Freaking the Mundanes (was Re: "Are you in a play?" Revisited...)

Date: 5 Oct 1995 17:24:25 -0400

Organization: Express Access Online Communications, Greenbelt, MD USA


In article <DFzGMH.K39 at freenet.carleton.ca>,

Peter Thorn <aw504 at FreeNet.Carleton.CA> wrote:


>...The more amusing thing, to my mind, is to try and freak the


>Lord Ouen atte Thornes de St-Helier, Called the Peevish


No #$%&, there I was. The weekend before Pennsic War Week is the

North-South Skirmish Association's (American CivWar target shooters)

Allegheny Regional Skirmish. It's on the way to Pennsic. I shot in the

musket match, then cleaned my gun, sent it home, and drove to Pennsic.


Next Scene: the Troll Booth. In walks this bozo in Confederate grays.

Numerous Scadians give him A Look. Comes the response, "Sorry about the

duds. The time machine had a layover in 1863."  :-)


*** Dexter C. Guptill, Computer Services, American Fed of Teachers

*** Cmdr, 49th VA Vol Inf, CSA (N-SSA); Pvt, Hampden's Regt of Foote (ECW)

*** AKA Ld. Erich von Kleinfeld, Stierbach, Atlantia (SCA)



From: andrixos at aol.com (Andrixos)

Newsgroups: rec.org.sca

Subject: A much gentler Mormon/SCA encounter

Date: 23 Oct 1995 03:55:02 -0400


Several years ago I was attending an event in the Midrealm during the

greatest heat of summer. After cleaning up from the tourney and putting on

evening garb, I stopped by a grocery store to pick up some beer for feast.

At the register, I was in line behind two clean-cut young gentlemen

wearing suits in ninety-degree weather.  I noticed the typical nametags,

as well as a football helmet tie pin with "BYU" on the stouter young man.


   I put my six pack on the belt behind their gallon of milk and pack of

Oreo cookies.  We stared at each other for a few seconds, and then the

thinner of the two said, with a grin,

"OK, it's obvious what we are.  What are you?"


  After a shared chuckle, I give the thirty second information speech,

without the recruitment section.  In exchange, they did not try to talk me

into their religion.  We parted, having added something to each other's



Andrixos Seljukroctonis



From: Eric Jon Campbell <ejcampbe at eos.ncsu.edu>

Newsgroups: rec.org.sca


Date: Tue, 07 Nov 1995 19:21:50 -0500

Organization: North Carolina State University


Bruce Mills wrote:

> You know you've been out of the SCA too long when.....


> ...the first time in ages you pick up duct tape, and actually use it to

> tape ducts!


> Akimoya

> Ealdormere


Better yet

One of the residents in my dorm needed some duct tape.  He went around

asking if anyone had any duct tape. The answer he got five times was    

go ask Xavier he's a scadian he'll have it.


When asked which room was Xavier's the people answered that it was the

room down at the other end that smelled like bread baking and beer



Amazingly enough the resident found my room and got a little scared when

he asked for duct tape and I asked him which color would he like.

(at the time I had black, red, green, brown, and traditional; I never

have been able to find the red again)




Eric Jon Campbell Sr Textile Engineering at NCSU

(alias) Xavier Campbell amateur blacksmith and brewer



From: pat at lalaw.lib.CA.US (Pat Lammerts)

Newsgroups: rec.org.sca

Subject: butterscotch

Date: 26 Dec 1995 18:48:42 -0500


>I recall some of the more rowdy folks from the Barony of Angels (might

>have been College of the Voyagers) inventing a rather untidy game, which I

>saw played at Estrella late at night a few years ago. Contestants would

>pair off - men with open shirts, women with low-cut bodices... and both

>would have chocolate pudding smeared all over their necks, shoulders, and

>upper chests.  The winning (man/woman) couple was the one who managed to

>lick up every bit of pudding from each other the fastest.  And they were

>doing this OUTDOORS, late on a chilly Estrella evening...


>Daveed the Bemused


Actually, you have the correct Barony, but the wrong sub-group.

The group you saw was House Blackrune, from the Canton of the

Canyons.  The chocolate pudding lick is one of their favorite

contests and they do it whenever House Blackrune sponsors a

tavern or Lord Stromberg Blackrune brings lots of kegs of his

Strombrau.  I first saw the pudding lick at the Blackrune

Tavern at Angels 20th Anniversary Celebration almost five

years ago.  Even then, it apparently was not the first time

that they had done it.  From what I have seen and heard, all

contestants enjoyed themselves, with no complaints about

stained garb.  





From: barbanis at vnet.ibm.COM (George Barbanis)

Newsgroups: rec.org.sca

Subject: Garb in mundania (was: Fringe groups)

Date: 29 Mar 1996 02:17:48 -0500


> I would no more wear NASA coveralls to an

> SCA event than I would wear Byzantine robes and a sword to my

> modern job.


Byzantine robes and a sword?  I did just that!  I was asked to go install

some software at a customer site, on the last Sunday of carnival.  And

early that day I put on my Byzantine robes, wore my boots, belted my

sword, threw a couple of DAT tapes in my pouch :) and off I went. The

folks at the customer site were a bit perplexed at my less-than-standard

IBM attire, but they were amused.


Alexios Macedon

(mka George Barbanis)



From: salley at niktow.canisius.edu (David Salley)

Newsgroups: rec.org.sca

Subject: Surfwatch(tm) Wipes Out!!!

Date: 4 Apr 1996 16:58:30 GMT

Organization: Canisius College, Buffalo, NY  14208


    With all the pornography on the computer networks, software manufacturers

have been trying to jump on the bandwagon fast enough to sell us something.

There are now commercial monitor programs available for most PCs.  One such

program is called "Surfwatch"(tm).  The way it works is simple, Mom and Dad

load the program in and type in a password.  Whenever someone starts pulling

files off the net, the monitor program will read the file before putting it

on the screen and if it has an "adult" words, it will ask for the password.

No password, no file.


    Last week, Surfwatch(tm) decided that my heraldry letters were obscene

enough to require a password!!!  We read through the letter, couldn't find

any objectionable material and decided on a brute-force solution.  We tore

the letter apart and passed it through the monitor a piece at a time.  

Anything Surfwatch rejected we tore into smaller pieces. The letter became

pages, pages paragraphs, paragraph lines, until after two hours we finally

isolated the offensive passage which could potentially corrupt America's

youth. ;-)


    "Done by my hand, this 17th Day of March, A.S. _XXX_" !!!  Don't you know

what comes after Roman Numerals?  Roman Orgies! (Just check the encyclopedia

under "R" ;-) This stupid program is going to reject every heraldry letter I

write for the next ten years!  

                                                       - Dagonell


SCA Persona : Lord Dagonell Collingwood of Emerald Lake, CSC, CK, CTr

Habitat           : East Kingdom, AEthelmearc Principality, Rhydderich Hael Barony

Internet    : salley at cs.canisius.edu  (Please use this, reply may not work.)

USnail-net  : David P. Salley, 136 Shepard Street, Buffalo, NY 14212-2029


<the end>

Formatting copyright © Mark S. Harris (THLord Stefan li Rous).
All other copyrights are property of the original article and message authors.

Comments to the Editor: stefan at florilegium.org