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SCA-Barbie-art - 3/29/09


"Talking SCA Barbie" by unknown author(s).


NOTE: See also the files: SCA-dishes-art, Garboholic-art, dolls-msg, Dollhouses-art, humor-msg, jokes-msg, Quest-f-Scotch-art, An-SCA-History-art.





This file is a collection of various messages having a common theme that I have collected from my reading of the various computer networks. Some messages date back to 1989, some may be as recent as yesterday.


This file is part of a collection of files called Stefan's Florilegium. These files are available on the Internet at: http://www.florilegium.org


I have done a limited amount of editing. Messages having to do with separate topics were sometimes split into different files and sometimes extraneous information was removed. For instance, the message IDs were removed to save space and remove clutter.


The comments made in these messages are not necessarily my viewpoints. I make no claims as to the accuracy of the information given by the individual authors.


Please respect the time and efforts of those who have written these messages. The copyright status of these messages is unclear at this time. If information is published from these messages, please give credit to the originator(s).


Thank you,

    Mark S. Harris                  AKA:  THLord Stefan li Rous

                                         Stefan at florilegium.org



Date: Thu, 04 Dec 2008 18:20:08 +1300

From: Lila Richards <lilar at ihug.co.nz>

Subject: [Lochac] [Fwd: Talking SCA Barbie]

To: "The Shambles, the SCA Lochac mailing list" <lochac at sca.org.au>,

        Baer Charlton <baer at framenerd.com>


Talking SCA Barbie


(Lifted from the Socially Challenged Adults Tribe on Tribe.net)


Barbie has been everywhere, and done everything.. . almost. Now she's getting into the newest craze: Medieval Recreation. Yes, Barbie is joining the SCA. The new Talking SCA Barbie will give your youngster minutes of fun, and teach her nothing about history whatsoever.


Talking SCA Barbie comes complete with tavern wench outfit, including a skirt made from old feast tablecloths, a chemise that barely covers, a hand-tooled lace up leather bodice, and an extra-long Norman sword belt, which can hold every accessory that you can purchase for her.


Currently Available Accessories


* Glass-bottom fake pewter mug (or the same in the deluxe model, inscribed "Hillsboro Oktoberfest, 1978")

* Foot-long "eating knife"

* Leather pouch with genuine Celtic fairy tooled on it (available

in black, green, and fluorescent pink)

* Genuine polyester gabardine half circle cloak, with or without hood

* Birkenstocks

* Sleigh bells

* Whip

* Fox tail (just like Eleanor of Aquitaine used to wear)

* Garage sale necklace, bracelet, and ring set

* Veil, which can be held on with the optional decorative chain mail coif

* Unread copies of Kingdom newsletter (Kingdom of your choice)

* 83 Different event and feast tokens


And Here's What She Says!


"Hello, Sir Knight <giggle>"

"I don't like her, she's mean."

"Fighters smell bad."

"I want to be Queen."

"Research is hard."

"I'll find someone to carry that, Your Majesty."

"It's period...I saw it in a movie."

"Courts are boring."

"It's all about the Dream!"

"There's nothing to DO!"


But Wait, There's More!


Barbie's not going into the Knowne Worlde alone. Oh no, she's convinced Ken to come along. Being a manly sort, Ken goes in for the combative arts. Yes, your child will get moments of pleasure reenacting historical tournaments, just like in A Knight's Tale!


Ken comes with a ratty T-tunic, jeans, sneakers, and a belt from the thrift store. But just like Barbie, that's just the beginning. The following accessories are available:


Combat Kit


* Genuine blue plastic armor (with a sticker on the front that says, "EZ Wash Detergent")

* Barrel helm from old Polidor pattern, made by his buddy who welds a bit

* Rattan sword with basket hilt that was made when freon cans were legal

* Authentic wood-grain shield

* Duffle bag


Combat Upgrade Kit


* Combat boots

* Sweatpants

* Polearm that looks like a lint brush

* Duct tape

* Ball peen hammer

* 5 Foot long sword from the Bud K catalog

* Ice bucket that looks like a tankard

* Thor's Hammer necklace

* 16 Different styles of belt favor (collect `em all)


And Here's What He Says!


"I should be a Knight."

"I could beat him."

"He's a rhino-hide."

"There's other Peerages?"

"A shiny new helm will make me fight better."

"A&S is for wimps."

"She's cute, I'll make her Queen."

"I'll duct tape that back on."

"Rapier isn't real fighting."

"He doesn't take blows."

"See my new bruise!"


<the end>

Formatting copyright © Mark S. Harris (THLord Stefan li Rous).
All other copyrights are property of the original article and message authors.

Comments to the Editor: stefan at florilegium.org