crash-space-msg - 1/13/11
'crash-space etiquette' for both the traveler and the crash-space provider.
NOTE: See also the files: feastgear-msg, courtesy-msg, How-to-Behave-art, SCA-courtesy-art, cmp-courteses-art, hotel-events-msg, recruiting-art.
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From: DonnelShaw at aol.com
Date: July 15, 2008 7:54:30 PM CDT
To: hillaryrg at yahoo.com, ansteorra at lists.ansteorra.org
Subject: Re: [Ansteorra] Question 7/15 - Crash-Space Etiquette?
In a message dated 7/15/2008 6:51:12 P.M. Central Daylight Time,
hillaryrg at yahoo.com writes:
<<< Ansteorra has often offered crash-space at many of it's events since the
beginning of this kingdom, but we may see more and more travelers seeking
crash-space to save dollar.
By definition: Crash-space is when a local member offers space in their
home for free to travelers attending the local event; with space being offered
as either a guestroom, spare bed or couch, or floor space.
What ideas can you share about 'crash-space etiquette' for both the traveler
and the crash-space provider?
Hillary >>>
I always try and let the people know I have pets and children at my house.
Some people are allergic and may not be able to stay here because of their
allergies. I also let them know that it is a no smoking house (my allergy) but
they are welcome to go on the back pouch. I make sure that the house is fairly
clean and there are fresh sheets and towels for whom ever stays here. Also
I plan on meals for those who stop in our home. Hospitality is very important
to myself and my house. If I am traveling I let them know I have children.
When I get there we try to stay out of the way as much as possible and help
with any chores that need to be done. We keep all of our things picked up and
out of the way. I make sure that the children are behaving and take care of
any problems promptly. Of course the children are teens now and wish to do
their own thing more than SCA. (Band, Football, Wrestling, Dates) And most
importantly I THANK my hostess or host.
Donnel
From: "Tina Michael" <tinabetta at gmail.com>
Date: July 15, 2008 7:58:59 PM CDT
To: hillaryrg at yahoo.com, "Kingdom of Ansteorra - SCA, Inc." <ansteorra at lists.ansteorra.org>
Subject: Re: [Ansteorra] Question 7/15 - Crash-Space Etiquette?
Here's is what I know about being a good guest,
Keep your area tidy, don't leave your laundry, dishes, personal items,
drawers, etc scattered around. You are not at home and it is not your mama's
house, and even if it is your mama's house your are still a guest.
Don't raid the fridge even if the host says you can. Always offer to pitch
in with food or alcohol costs if you plan to eat or drink, even if your host
says they won't accept it. Stick a few bucks on the table. After all, you
are enjoying the host's hot water and air conditioning.
If your host goes to bed early be courteous and go, too. Or at least turn
the lights off and turn the TV down.
Pitch in. Help with the dishes, clean the bathroom up after you use it.
Your host is not there to serve you and should not have to rinse up your
hair from the tub, that's just rude.
Remember the golden rule. How would you feel if some rude fool came to your
house, ate all of your food, drank all of your beer, trashed your bathroom
and then stayed up being loud all night? Hummm, sounds like a visit from my
brother. Be polite, your mama would be proud.
Currently I am a guest in my parents home as I have just moved to the area
from Florida. I am really trying to be a good guest even thought it is my
mama's house. My dad already called me out about drinking all of his beer
and made me get more. Tee hee!
Lady Augustina Elizabetta da San Germano
aka Bubbles Boudoir
From: "Sher M" <runa.herd at earthlink.net>
Date: July 15, 2008 9:40:45 PM CDT
To: <ansteorra at lists.ansteorra.org>
Subject: Re: [Ansteorra] Question 7/15 - Crash-Space Etiquette?
I am allergic to brats, not children. I have 4 dogs ranging in size from 15 pounds to 85 pounds who adore kids. The dogs live in the house with a dog door access to the outside. They think they should help everyone go to the bathroom, keep them warm by sleeping with them. A closed door gets scratched and/or whined at. So anyone who stays with me must love dogs. Guests are expected to pick up after themselves. If they dirty the bathroom they best clean it or I'll let the dogs into the bedroom with them at 3 am. Because I have 4 dogs other dogs/cats really are not a good idea to bring with you. The doxie hates cats. Pepe will probably urinate on your dog just to prove he is the male of the pack (yes he has done that).
The dogs and I enjoy company and guests who stay over. There are rules that must be followed by all, such as do NOT feed the dogs from the table, do NOT step on the 6K surgery doxie, do not slap or yell at the dogs, pickup things especially if you don't want the dogs to eat it or urinate on it (shoes, socks, underwear, good smelly things). I don't expect guests to do the dishes but they should at least rinse their plates/glasses/cups and put them in the sink. Do NOT change the channel on the telly when I'm watching a show. If you don't like it go watch the telly in the guest bedroom. It is safer to speak to me once I've had a cup of coffee or tea in the morning, do not be Perky until I've had said cuppa. No drugs allowed!
If you want something 'special' to eat or snack on, I suggest you bring it with you.
When I've stayed at someone's house I always offer to change the sheets, help with chores, clean the room I stayed in, and respected the homeowner's rules. I never eat the last one of anything or put an empty or almost empty container back into the fridge or cabinet without saying something to the homeowner. I am a smoker but I will NOT smoke in someone's house who does not smoke. By the same token do NOT get offensive in my home about my ciggys.
Runa of The Thundering Herd
http://runa-herd.livejournal.com
From: "Manners, Tabitha" <tabitha.manners at okstate.edu>
Date: July 15, 2008 10:26:35 PM CDT
To: "Kingdom of Ansteorra - SCA, Inc." <ansteorra at lists.ansteorra.org>
Subject: Re: [Ansteorra] Crash Space Etiquette
I think the most important thing is to find a way to let the host know you appreciate their kindness. This can be as little as a heartfelt thank you or help if you see they are struggling to get something finished for the event the next day. The one thing I hate to see is those people who expect crash space to be provided and get irritated if no one is available to accommodate them or their group. It is a privilege to stay with fell SCAdians, share their home, and get to know them a little more (or in some cases meet them for the first time). Some groups may not have space or may need a few days to find someone who is available. Please don't think that it is part of your site fee and expect accommodations to be available when you sign in and gate and inform the volunteer their that you need a place to stay. That is rude.
You should always communicate clearly with each other in advance regarding directions, rules of the house, pets, and other allergies that may need to be considered. This takes a lot of stress out of the situation. If you can notify them when you are running late, this is also a nice courtesy.
Liliana
From: Maria Buchanan <scarlettmb at sbcglobal.net>
Date: July 15, 2008 10:31:05 PM CDT
To: "Kingdom of Ansteorra - SCA, Inc." <ansteorra at lists.ansteorra.org>
Subject: Re: [Ansteorra] Crash Space Etiquette
Speaking for those of us who don't have a lot of money
to take people out to dinner, bring some food with you
to make for breakfast/lunch/dinner or make sure you
provide lunch/dinner at the event that you're going
to. When I go out to San Antonio from Houston and am
staying at someone's house, I always stop at Buckey's
and pick up a pound and a half of fudge. It's buy a
pound and get half pound free so it's like $10 for a
pound and a half. Not a bad idea. Just to bring with
me. Then I also make sure if I want some special
snacks (like my favorite potato chips that I just
discovered) I bring enough to share, not just for me.
Also sodas and beer because I'm very picky about my
soda and beer.
Maria
From: "willowdewisp at juno.com" <willowdewisp at juno.com>
Date: July 16, 2008 7:08:12 AM CDT
To: ansteorra at lists.ansteorra.org
Subject: Re: [Ansteorra] Question 7/15 - Crash-Space Etiquette?
I am always wonderfully grateful if someone offers me space. I hope I make a good guest. I always tell people about my allergies. I can't handle smoking. I am go to the hospital with an attack. People find it very rude if you don't warn them about that.
Also I am very grateful if someone makes an effort to do special courtesies because I am a Duchess. I try to be gracious but I really don't expect it. Yes, when we are at the event and we are all playing our roles then I expect it but when I am at someones home I think that is the real world and I am not a Duchess in the real world.
I like to bring guest gifts. I was raised in the old South and host and hostess gift were a requirement. I bring SCA things and sometimes things I have made. I sometimes bring books because most people in the SCA like books.
I like to bring things for the children. In most SCA houses the children have a lot to do with the SCA and like to be included as members of the SCA Household.
I have a funny story about a Queen of Atenveldt that I was at 20 Th anniversary or the SCA.. I was talking to her and she told me that when I was Queen of Atenveldt many years ago she was the child in the house and I give her a brooch and talked to her about binging a Queen and she had patterned herself after me.
In medieval time we are told to be especially courteous to people without rank but of good blood because they might be your Lord someday.
willow de wisp
From: "Irena Fridenberg" <rubberduckiemom at gmail.com>
Date: July 16, 2008 9:10:42 AM CDT
To: hillaryrg at yahoo.com, "Kingdom of Ansteorra - SCA, Inc." <ansteorra at lists.ansteorra.org>
Subject: Re: [Ansteorra] Question 7/15 - Crash-Space Etiquette?
Something that just irritates the snoggers out of me is when you have sent a
potential guest an invitation to stay in your home and you don't hear a word
from them until they show up. How rude!
It would sure be nice to know if that person actually accepted your
invitation or not.
I am one to sit up and wait until the person shows up so that they don't
have a host/hostess who is grumpy because they were woken up in the wee
hours of the morning by an arriving guest. This also causes problems if the
person never shows up. There could have been another person or group that
could have had a warm, dry place to sleep if the original potential guest
said, "Sorry, change of plans!"
Many people these days, in and out of the SCA, do not have the common
courtesy to RSVP when asked. It causes such a hardship on the host/hostess
and could possibly cause hard feelings between them and the potential guest.
We should maybe develope a class for King's College and WinterKingdom on
proper Crash Space Courtesy for the Hosting and the Crasher.
Okay, I'm stepping off the soapbox now for the next person.
Lady Katrine la Esclopiera,
Hostess with the Mostess
Province of Mooneschadowe
Kingdom of Ansteorra
From: "Regan Caimbeul" <regan.caimbeul at gmail.com>
Date: July 16, 2008 11:19:39 AM CDT
To: ansteorra at lists.ansteorra.org
Subject: [Ansteorra] Crash Space Etiquette
I saw this thread and this is a subject that hits pretty close to home for
me. Some of you know me, many do not. However, My Lord and I are
immigrants to Ansteorra from Far Away Lands (The Far West-Japan), and have
had much to say on the subject of "Crashing": being "Crashers" and a hosts,
many times each. I have found that this can be a great way to make friends
and make your visitors and newcomers welcome.
I pretty much agree with all of the comments that have been brought up
regarding Crash Space Etiquette.
*Be gracious to your hosts/guests-treat eachother how you would like to be
treated.
*Communicate-especially when allergies or other potential issues could
arrise. I have animals, and my house isn't that kid friendly. I don't have
any children. So, the kiddos would probably be bored at my house, unless
they like books or watching movies.
*Hosts-clean up the house and mind the pets, if you have any.
*I always keep a supply of Benedryl in the medicine chest, especially if
someone says they are allergic to animals, but still want to come over. :)
*Help out where you can-but don't be pushy. (At least keep your area tidy if
the host refuses the help in other areas-some people feel awkward about
having guests help clean up stuff-I'm one of those weird people. I feel
like a bad hostess or housekeeper if someone starts cleaning up for me,
where they haven't been.). Offering to cook a meal, or taking them out to
dinner/breakfast is great!
*Gifts are wonderful ideas-for the host and guest. Bring something that
symbolizes where you are coming from so that the person will remember their
visit when they see that gift. (When I went to Lochac, I gifted my hosts a
couple of fans that I found in Japan with finger looped braids in my
barony's colors, and in Lochac's colors. My hosts in Guam gave me a set of
cool, stackable, wicker trinket boxes. It doesn't need to be pricey, but
something with a little thought and feeling.)
All in all.. I haven't had a bad crash-space experience when it comes to
people in the SCA (mundanely-yes.. but that's another story.. not for the
list).
Honestly, my only gripe is that it SEEMS that crash space isn't offered up
very much around here, unless you already know someone where you are going.
I don't know if it would be something to think about to have a "Crash space
Coordinator" as part of the event staff. I know sometimes it will fall on
the Hospitalers to help find space. If I had the opportunity, I would
prefer crashing with someone to hotelling it at an event. I enjoy having
people stay at my home (which is one of the reasons we chose the house we
did, so we could entertain comfortably).