Home Page

Stefan's Florilegium

crash-space-msg



This document is also available in: text or RTF formats.

crash-space-msg - 9/26/13

 

'crash-space etiquette' for both the traveler and the crash-space provider.

 

NOTE: See also the files: feastgear-msg, courtesy-msg, How-to-Behave-art, SCA-courtesy-art, cmp-courteses-art, hotel-events-msg, recruiting-art.

 

************************************************************************

NOTICE -

 

This file is a collection of various messages having a common theme that I have collected from my reading of the various computer networks. Some messages date back to 1989, some may be as recent as yesterday.

 

This file is part of a collection of files called Stefan's Florilegium. These files are available on the Internet at: http://www.florilegium.org

 

I have done a limited amount of editing. Messages having to do with separate topics were sometimes split into different files and sometimes extraneous information was removed. For instance, the message IDs were removed to save space and remove clutter.

 

The comments made in these messages are not necessarily my viewpoints. I make no claims as to the accuracy of the information given by the individual authors.

 

Please respect the time and efforts of those who have written these messages. The copyright status of these messages is unclear at this time. If information is published from these messages, please give credit to the originator(s).

 

Thank you,

    Mark S. Harris                  AKA:  THLord Stefan li Rous

                                          Stefan at florilegium.org

************************************************************************

 

From: DonnelShaw at aol.com

Date: July 15, 2008 7:54:30 PM CDT

To: hillaryrg at yahoo.com, ansteorra at lists.ansteorra.org

Subject: Re: [Ansteorra] Question 7/15 - Crash-Space Etiquette?

 

In a message dated 7/15/2008 6:51:12 P.M. Central Daylight Time,  

hillaryrg at yahoo.com writes:

<<< Ansteorra has often offered crash-space at many of it's  events since the

beginning of this kingdom, but we may see more and more  travelers seeking

crash-space to save dollar.  

 

By definition:  Crash-space is when a local member offers space in their  

home for free to travelers attending the local event; with space being offered  

as either a guestroom, spare bed or couch, or floor space.  

 

What ideas can you share about 'crash-space etiquette' for both the  traveler

and the crash-space provider?

 

Hillary >>>

 

I always try and let the people know I have pets and children at my house.  

Some people are allergic and may not be able to stay here because of their  

allergies. I also let them know that it is a no smoking house (my allergy)  but

they are welcome to go on the back pouch. I make sure that the house is  fairly

clean and there are fresh sheets and towels  for whom ever  stays here. Also

I plan on meals for those who stop in our home.  Hospitality is very important

to myself and my house. If I am traveling I let  them know I have children.

When I get there we try to stay out of the way as  much as possible and help

with any chores that need to be done. We keep all of  our things picked up and

out of the way. I make sure that the children are  behaving and take care of

any problems promptly. Of course the children are  teens now and wish to do

their own thing more than SCA. (Band, Football,  Wrestling, Dates)  And most

importantly I THANK my hostess or host.

 

Donnel

 

 

From: "Tina Michael" <tinabetta at gmail.com>

Date: July 15, 2008 7:58:59 PM CDT

To: hillaryrg at yahoo.com, "Kingdom of Ansteorra - SCA, Inc." <ansteorra at lists.ansteorra.org>

Subject: Re: [Ansteorra] Question 7/15 - Crash-Space Etiquette?

 

Here's is what I know about being a good guest,

 

Keep your area tidy, don't leave your laundry, dishes, personal items,

drawers, etc scattered around. You are not at home and it is not your mama's

house, and even if it is your mama's house your are still a guest.

 

Don't raid the fridge even if the host says you can. Always offer to pitch

in with food or alcohol costs if you plan to eat or drink, even if your host

says they won't accept it. Stick a few bucks on the table. After all, you

are enjoying the host's hot water and air conditioning.

 

If your host goes to bed early be courteous and go, too. Or at least turn

the lights off and turn the TV down.

 

Pitch in. Help with the dishes, clean the bathroom up after you use it.

Your host is not there to serve you and should not have to rinse up your

hair from the tub, that's just rude.

 

Remember the golden rule. How would you feel if some rude fool came to your

house, ate all of your food, drank all of your beer, trashed your bathroom

and then stayed up being loud all night? Hummm, sounds like a visit from my

brother. Be polite, your mama would be proud.

 

Currently I am a guest in my parents home as I have just moved to the area

from Florida. I am really trying to be a good guest even thought it is my

mama's house. My dad already called me out about drinking all of his beer

and made me get more. Tee hee!

 

Lady Augustina Elizabetta da San Germano

aka Bubbles Boudoir

 

 

From: "Sher M" <runa.herd at earthlink.net>

Date: July 15, 2008 9:40:45 PM CDT

To: <ansteorra at lists.ansteorra.org>

Subject: Re: [Ansteorra] Question 7/15 - Crash-Space Etiquette?

 

I am allergic to brats, not children.  I have 4 dogs ranging in size from 15 pounds to 85 pounds who adore kids.  The dogs live in the house with a dog door access to the outside.  They think they should help everyone go to the bathroom, keep them warm by sleeping with them.  A closed door gets scratched and/or whined at.  So anyone who stays with me must love dogs. Guests are expected to pick up after themselves.  If they dirty the bathroom they best clean it or I'll let the dogs into the bedroom with them at 3 am. Because I have 4 dogs other dogs/cats really are not a good idea to bring with you.  The doxie hates cats. Pepe will probably urinate on your dog just to prove he is the male of the pack (yes he has done that).

 

The dogs and I enjoy company and guests who stay over.  There are rules that must be followed by all, such as do NOT feed the dogs from the table, do NOT step on the 6K surgery doxie, do not slap or yell at the dogs, pickup things especially if you don't want the dogs to eat it or urinate on it (shoes, socks, underwear, good smelly things).  I don't expect guests to do the dishes but they should at least rinse their plates/glasses/cups and put them in the sink.  Do NOT change the channel on the telly when I'm watching a show.  If you don't like it go watch the telly in the guest bedroom.  It is safer to speak to me once I've had a cup of coffee or tea in the morning, do not be Perky until I've had said cuppa.  No drugs allowed!

 

If you want something 'special' to eat or snack on, I suggest you bring it with you.

 

When I've stayed at someone's house I always offer to change the sheets, help with chores, clean the room I stayed in, and respected the homeowner's rules.  I never eat the last one of anything or put an empty or almost empty container back into the fridge or cabinet without saying something to the homeowner.  I am a smoker but I will NOT smoke in someone's house who does not smoke.  By the same token do NOT get offensive in my home about my ciggys.

 

Runa of The Thundering Herd

http://runa-herd.livejournal.com

 

 

From: "Manners, Tabitha" <tabitha.manners at okstate.edu>

Date: July 15, 2008 10:26:35 PM CDT

To: "Kingdom of Ansteorra - SCA, Inc." <ansteorra at lists.ansteorra.org>

Subject: Re: [Ansteorra] Crash Space Etiquette

 

I think the most important thing is to find a way to let the host know you appreciate their kindness.  This can be as little as a heartfelt thank you or help if you see they are struggling to get something finished for the event the next day. The one thing I hate to see is those people who expect crash space to be provided and get irritated if no one is available to accommodate them or their group.  It is a privilege to stay with fell SCAdians, share their home, and get to know them a little more (or in some cases meet them for the first time). Some groups may not have space or may need a few days to find someone who is available.  Please don't think that it is part of your site fee and expect accommodations to be available when you sign in and gate and inform the volunteer their that you need a place to stay.  That is rude.

 

You should always communicate clearly with each other in advance regarding directions, rules of the house, pets, and other allergies that may need to be considered. This takes a lot of stress out of the situation.  If you can notify them when you are running late, this is also a nice courtesy.

 

Liliana

 

 

From: Maria Buchanan <scarlettmb at sbcglobal.net>

Date: July 15, 2008 10:31:05 PM CDT

To: "Kingdom of Ansteorra - SCA, Inc." <ansteorra at lists.ansteorra.org>

Subject: Re: [Ansteorra] Crash Space Etiquette

 

Speaking for those of us who don't have a lot of money

to take people out to dinner, bring some food with you

to make for breakfast/lunch/dinner or make sure you

provide lunch/dinner at the event that you're going

to.  When I go out to San Antonio from Houston and am

staying at someone's house, I always stop at Buckey's

and pick up a pound and a half of fudge.  It's buy a

pound and get half pound free so it's like $10 for a

pound and a half.  Not a bad idea.  Just to bring with

me.  Then I also make sure if I want some special

snacks (like my favorite potato chips that I just

discovered) I bring enough to share, not just for me.

Also sodas and beer because I'm very picky about my

soda and beer.  

 

Maria

 

 

From: "willowdewisp at juno.com" <willowdewisp at juno.com>

Date: July 16, 2008 7:08:12 AM CDT

To: ansteorra at lists.ansteorra.org

Subject: Re: [Ansteorra] Question 7/15 - Crash-Space Etiquette?

 

I am always wonderfully grateful if someone offers me space. I hope I make a good guest. I always tell people about my allergies. I can't handle smoking. I am go to the hospital with an attack. People find it very rude if you don't warn them about that.

 

Also I am very grateful if someone makes an effort to do special courtesies because I am a Duchess. I try to be gracious but I really don't expect it. Yes, when we are at the event and we are all playing our roles then I expect it but when I am at someones home I think that is the real world and I am not a Duchess in the real world.

 

I like to bring guest gifts. I was raised in the old South and host and hostess gift were a requirement. I bring SCA things and sometimes things I have made. I sometimes bring books because most people in the SCA like books.

 

I like to bring things for the children. In most SCA houses the children have a lot to do with the SCA and like to be included as members of the SCA Household.

I have a funny story about a Queen of Atenveldt that I was at 20 Th anniversary or the SCA.. I was talking to her and she told me that when I was Queen of Atenveldt many years ago she was the child in the house and I give her a brooch and talked to her about binging a Queen and she had patterned herself after me.

In medieval time we are told to be especially courteous to people without rank but of good blood because they might be your Lord someday.

 

willow de wisp

 

 

From: "Irena Fridenberg" <rubberduckiemom at gmail.com>

Date: July 16, 2008 9:10:42 AM CDT

To: hillaryrg at yahoo.com, "Kingdom of Ansteorra - SCA, Inc." <ansteorra at lists.ansteorra.org>

Subject: Re: [Ansteorra] Question 7/15 - Crash-Space Etiquette?

 

Something that just irritates the snoggers out of me is when you have sent a

potential guest an invitation to stay in your home and you don't hear a word

from them until they show up.  How rude!

It would sure be nice to know if that person actually accepted your

invitation or not.

 

I am one to sit up and wait until the person shows up so that they don't

have a host/hostess who is grumpy because they were woken up in the wee

hours of the morning by an arriving guest.  This also causes problems if the

person never shows up.  There could have been another person or group that

could have had a warm, dry place to sleep if the original potential guest

said, "Sorry, change of plans!"

 

Many people these days, in and out of the SCA, do not have the common

courtesy to  RSVP when asked.  It causes such a hardship on the host/hostess

and could possibly cause hard feelings between them and the potential guest.

 

We should maybe develope a class for King's College and WinterKingdom on

proper Crash Space Courtesy for the Hosting and the Crasher.

 

Okay, I'm stepping off the soapbox now for the next person.

 

Lady Katrine la Esclopiera,

Hostess with the Mostess

Province of Mooneschadowe

Kingdom of Ansteorra

 

 

From: "Regan Caimbeul" <regan.caimbeul at gmail.com>

Date: July 16, 2008 11:19:39 AM CDT

To: ansteorra at lists.ansteorra.org

Subject: [Ansteorra] Crash Space Etiquette

 

I saw this thread and this is a subject that hits pretty close to home for

me.  Some of you know me, many do not.  However, My Lord and I are

immigrants to Ansteorra from Far Away Lands (The Far West-Japan), and have

had much to say on the subject of "Crashing": being "Crashers" and a hosts,

many times each.  I have found that this can be a great way to make friends

and make your visitors and newcomers welcome.

 

I pretty much agree with all of the comments that have been brought up

regarding Crash Space Etiquette.

 

*Be gracious to your hosts/guests-treat eachother how you would like to be

treated.

 

*Communicate-especially when allergies or other potential issues could

arrise.  I have animals, and my house isn't that kid friendly.  I don't have

any children.  So, the kiddos would probably be bored at my house, unless

they like books or watching movies.

 

*Hosts-clean up the house and mind the pets, if you have any.

 

*I always keep a supply of Benedryl in the medicine chest, especially if

someone says they are allergic to animals, but still want to come over.  :)

 

*Help out where you can-but don't be pushy. (At least keep your area tidy if

the host refuses the help in other areas-some people feel awkward about

having guests help clean up stuff-I'm one of those weird people.  I feel

like a bad hostess or housekeeper if someone starts cleaning up for me,

where they haven't been.).  Offering to cook a meal, or taking them out to

dinner/breakfast is great!

 

*Gifts are wonderful ideas-for the host and guest.  Bring something that

symbolizes where you are coming from so that the person will remember their

visit when they see that gift. (When I went to Lochac, I gifted my hosts a

couple of fans that I found in Japan with finger looped braids in my

barony's colors, and in Lochac's colors.  My hosts in Guam gave me a set of

cool, stackable, wicker trinket boxes.  It doesn't need to be pricey, but

something with a little thought and feeling.)

 

All in all.. I haven't had a bad crash-space experience when it comes to

people in the SCA (mundanely-yes.. but that's another story.. not for the

list).

 

Honestly, my only gripe is that it SEEMS that crash space isn't offered up

very much around here, unless you already know someone where you are going.

I don't know if it would be something to think about to have a "Crash space

Coordinator" as part of the event staff.  I know sometimes it will fall on

the Hospitalers to help find space.  If I had the opportunity, I would

prefer crashing with someone to hotelling it at an event.  I enjoy having

people stay at my home (which is one of the reasons we chose the house we

did, so we could entertain comfortably).

 

So, on that note:  if you happen to be going to an event (or even for a

mundane reason) in Northern Steppes or Glaslyn and are looking for a place

to crash, please contact me.  The doors are open.  Just give us a couple

days notice.  ;-)

 

Lady Regan Caimbeul

Steppes

 

 

From: Deboramarzec at aol.com

Date: July 16, 2008 11:36:15 AM CDT

To: ansteorra at lists.ansteorra.org

Subject: Re: [Ansteorra] Crash Space Etiquette

 

In response to the 'not many people offer crash space' you have to take  into

account that many of us can live an hour or more from our local event  sites.

We don't offer space because we ourselves are camping at a site that  makes

daily commuting time consuming and expensive.

 

Debora.

 

 

From: Aline Swynbrook <alineswynbrook at yahoo.com>

Date: July 16, 2008 11:05:13 AM CDT

To: ansteorra at ansteorra.org

Subject: Re: [Ansteorra] Question 7/15- Crash Space Ettiquette?

 

Because I like things in list form....

 

For those requesting crash space:

 

1) Make the request as soon as you know you will be attending the event.  A month in advance, preferably.  This gives the crash space coordinator time to make arrangements or to let you know if arrangements are not available.

 

2) Be very clear in your request how many people are in your party, whether any of them have an allergy (pet dander, cigarette smoke, etc.) or other special needs (can't sleep on floor due to physical condition, etc.).

 

3) Once you are offered crash space, give your host a projected time of arrival and stick to it as much as humanly possible.  If something comes up and you are running late, call and let the host know what's going on.

 

4) Keep your gear neat and contained.  Nothing will make a host less pleased than tripping over loose gear and injuring themselves.

 

5) If there is reveling, be conscientious that your host is not your babysitter. Don't party yourself ill and then expect to be taken care of.  This is not your host's job.

 

6) Offer to help with chores and clean-up.  Its the polite thing to do.

 

7) Host/Hostess gifts are nice, but be aware that your host may have allergies. Its okay to ask them about these.

 

 

For the Host:

 

1) Let the person who is coordinating crash space know about your household make up (kids, pets, smoking, booze allowed, vegan-vegetarian, etc) and what space you are offering (spare beds/couches/floor space) and how many you can accommodate.   It is better to underestimate the amount of space than over estimate.  It is also okay to say no to the coordinator if they are asking you to squeeze in "just one more person".  You know your homes limits better than anyone.

 

2) Provide a phone number to your guests where they can reach you if they are lost/running late/etc.  This helps keep this a non-stressful experience.

 

3) If you are providing beds/bedding, make sure it is clean.  Make sure to let guests know where guests towels are and what is done with them after use.  

 

4) If something is off limits, politely let the guests know in advance, rather than being upset if they use it in ignorance.

 

5) Be gracious in the acceptance of help or hostess gifts.  Even if the gift is something you might not particularly like or use.

 

 

For the crash space coordinator

 

1) Have your information available to event participants early, so that crash space can be arranged in advance.

 

2) Consider putting together a database of what your group has available with household concerns/make-up information for easy cross referencing.

 

3) Be considerate of the people volunteering space.  If they have told you they can take 4, don't ask them to take 6.  Overcrowded crash space makes no one happy.

 

4) It is okay to say no if all available space is booked.  Think of it like a hotel.  If all available rooms are booked, they don't try to squeeze people into the lobby.  Unfortunately, you may not be able to accommodate everyone all the time.

 

Aline Swynbrook

 

 

From: "Sher M" <runa.herd at earthlink.net>

Date: July 16, 2008 3:48:09 PM CDT

To: <ansteorra at lists.ansteorra.org>

Subject: [Ansteorra] Question 7/15- Crash Space Ettiquette?

 

<<< Because I like things in list form... >>>

 

Most excellent list!  My house is sort of kid proof because I went from 4 dogs with no tails to 4 dogs with tails.

Also a neat freak should not stay at a home like mine.  If the doxie doesn't get lost then my house isn't dirty.  Right

now it's a total mess because we're trying to get the workshop finished and I've had a ton of 'stuff' going on in my

life (not all good).  Plus I'm STILL trying to unpack boxes from moving into my new home a year ago next month.

I also have a huge yard with a fence around the workshop so people could setup a tent without fear of Pepe Le Peu watering it.

 

I stay up until at least midnight, usually much later.  Then I'm up at the latest by 7. So when I built the dog race track

house I did set the guest area on the other side so I wouldn't bother any guests.

 

Oh and add one thing to the list... if you sleep nude then bring something to wear (especially at my home because said dogs

WILL investigate).  I had a guest years ago that wandered out into the kitchen in the buff.  After spewing coffee everywhere

I started laughing.  Yes, we're still friends but he brings something to sleep in.  He doesn't really wakeup well until after

about his 3rd cup of coffee and he didn't even consider his lack of clothing when he went searching for the coffee.

 

Last year I made several articles of garb for some friends of mine that were going to Lilies War.  I did it without charge

mainly because (a) they were friends and furnished their own fabric (b) I wanted to see if I could make what they wanted

(no pattern-but now there is one).  I was gobsmacked when they brought back some beautiful trim as a thank you.  So far

part of the trim is on one gown but whip stitched on so I can use it again because I will treasure that trim until the day I

die.

 

Sher Montgomery & The Thundering Herd

http://runa-herd.livejournal.com

 

 

Date: Mon, 23 May 2011 19:41:49 -0700 (PDT)

From: Jacqueline Lee <lilithquestor at yahoo.com>

To: "atlantia at atlantia.sca.org" <atlantia at atlantia.sca.org>

Subject: Re: [MR] Fwd: Want more people at your event?

 

"Don't know what crash space is? It's an old custom that seems to have fallen into disuse. Every time a group held an event, they had a list of people who were willing to have others sleep at their home during the event. But now it's gotten harder to find."

 

Thank you so very much Mistress Dervila ni Leanon and Lord Tom Drumbuilder. Crash space was the custom when I began life in the SCA and it was the way that I and a great many others met friends that we still have and learned about this organization. I have often said that I learned more about the SCA, how it was run, heraldry, persona construction, and many other things on the floor of Master Robin's condo than I did at any University or class I have ever taken. I think that this kind of "getting to know you" downtime before and after an event contributed to the knowledge of how to conduct oneself in the group and the kind of closeness that we lack so much of the time today.

 

There is a difference between dealing with someone only in garb at an event and sitting and gabbing on the floor before everyone settles down for the night. I will not say that things were perfect in the time when crash space was the rule, but it did help to keep things in perspective dealing with others, knowing that you were going to be vying for the prime floor spot (under the table, no one could step on you) with that person when you got back to the house.

 

Seriously, I think that we need to return to this custom. It was considered so important by the founders of the Society that hospitality according to ones means was considered a requirement for elevation to the peerage in the early additions of the Corpora. Think about it.

 

Mistress Megara di Alessandra

First Event Attended, the Last Coronet Tournament of Meridies, where I stayed with friends (House Haraldstad) in South Downs.

 

 

Date: Tue, 24 May 2011 02:52:31 +0000

From: Gina Shelley <paintedwheel at hotmail.com>

To: <atlantia at atlantia.sca.org>

Subject: Re: [MR] Fwd: Want more people at your event?

 

The old custom of "crash space" is how I met some of my dearest friends. I often had more fun hanging out my hosts than I did at the actual events. I will echo the sentiment that I learned more about the SCA sitting around on someone's living room floor than any other means.

 

I think Achbar probably remembers how he and I became friends. ;-) (hint: the sight of him trying to sleep lying on a table in the feasthall was unacceptable to me.)

 

Dulcy

 

 

Date: Tue, 24 May 2011 05:27:20 CDT

From: "Bambi TBNL" <hippy_dippy_dancer at yahoo.com>

To: StefanliRous at austin.rr.com, atlantia at atlantia.sca.org

Subject: Re: [MR] Fwd: Want more people at your event?

 

I remember a crown tourney, years ago where I advertised a post revel afterwards. I don't remember how many people stayed over but at some point in the am I do remember finding four handsome men in my kitchen washing dishes and making coffee and talking about road conditions. I do believe that as hostess I was the most fortunate of all to have had all these people (oh there were more that night) staying  in my home.

 

I will admit though, that was in the neighborhood of 14 years ago. SOME of us are a lot older. Old war wound and fine living have caught up with us to the point where a bed roll on the floor or couch will only work if there is winch and a crew to operate it to get us up in the morning. I believe a lot of the crashspace customs fell into disuse because of this and because those of us who had to downsize due to the economy, empty nest, etc, find it hard to get things rolling again. I now live in a house with 2 bathrooms, 2 guest rooms (3 if you want to sleep with the cat), and a couch in the living room. There is no central air conditioning, the doors don't close completely because the house is very old and they don't fit the door jams anymore, and there is no usable basement or parking.

 

oh wait. That's a lot like a summer camping event!!! Come on down!!!

 

 

Date: Tue, 24 May 2011 07:35:22 -0700 (PDT)

From: Made For Willow <madeforwillow at yahoo.com>

To: Atlantia maillist <atlantia at atlantia.sca.org>,      Stefan li Rous

        <StefanliRous at austin.rr.com>

Subject: [MR] Crash space - justsayin'

 

I have followed this missive and wanted to extend an insiders message. I have been active in the SCA almost 15 yrs. Over that time, I have had many Scadians "crash" at my place. I have enjoyed the company, the friendships and meeting new folks. To this very day, there is a list of folks that know any time they are attending events in the Stierbach area...they have a place to stay. I love seeing everyone and enjoy the company, when they come.

 

There are a few things to keep in mind, when seeking crash space.

 

BE A GOOD GUEST:

- Be sure to communicate your arrival and departure to the host, so they can plan accordingly.

- Assist your host with food/beverage costs, especially if you are there for several meals

- Service is important, at events, as well as at your hosts house...make sure you are the kind of guest that would be welcome back.

- Be tidy and conscientious of their housekeeping standards, be helpful not a burden.

- A happy host, will ask you back over and over again.

- Try to ride share to the event.

 

Now that I have said all that...(grin)...I usually have crash space in the Quantico area, inside and outside. First come first served, we have extra space inside..and enough ground to have tent camping & a fire-pit for a bardic, for some. We live in a private, dirt road country community, behind Quantico. There is a small lake with a little beach..yes, swimming 24/7. Yes,  post event splash is open 24 hrs.

 

What is wrong with this picture?

I have 3 small dogs, that are NOT small child friendly, and 2 cats. So, those with allergies may not be able to crash with us. I am a neat nick, so the animals are well maintained and so is the house. I do enjoy company, bardic and the SCA.

 

My crash space fills up fast, but if you need it..please ask.

 

Baroness Willow Faye Dunne

Barony of Stiebach

 

 

From: Mark Schuldenfrei <mark at SCHULDY.ORG>

Subject: Re: [CALONTIR] first time sca event coronation

Date: July 16, 2013 7:53:37 AM CDT

To: CALONTIR at listserv.unl.edu

 

On 7/15/2013 11:55 PM, Jennifer Moody wrote:

<<< I have always wondered what appropriate gifts are to give the people, sometimes whom you have never meet before, who generously share their

homes. Any suggestions? >>>

 

It is my very private and personal opinion that ANYTHING will do.

 

I think such small gifts (they should be modest) are important because they are a sign and assurance of a polite and pleased guest: it isn't about "what did you give me"?

 

For any one item, the choice may be imperfect.  But the thought is never imperfect.

 

        Tibor

 

 

From: "C. Kinsey" <grnvixen at YAHOO.COM>

Subject: Re: [CALONTIR] first time sca event coronation

Date: July 16, 2013 9:11:30 AM CDT

To: CALONTIR at listserv.unl.edu

 

Ditto.  I know we have always appreciate any thoughtful gesture.  Which includes respecting a hosts schedule for coming and going.  A lot of times the local folks are very involved in running the event.

 

Contributions for breakfast are good.  Picking up after yourself is also good.  If we were ever crashing somewhere we knew there were going to be a lot of folks we would bring a 4-pack of toilet paper :).

 

Liriel

 

 

From: Ted Eisenstein <alban at SOCKET.NET>

Subject: Re: [CALONTIR] first time sca event coronation

Date: July 16, 2013 8:56:40 AM CDT

To: CALONTIR at listserv.unl.edu

 

<<< I have always wondered what appropriate gifts are to give the people, sometimes whom you have never meet before, who generously share their homes. Any suggestions? >>>

 

A home that doesn't look like it's had guests. No stray bottles that are in odd places; a reasonably clean sink with reasonably clean dishes; a sofa that won't attack anyone with unsuspected sharp

objects....You know, a home that's "cleaner than when we arrived".

 

Note, please, that all of my crashers have always cleaned up after themselves, so all of this is second- or third-hand. One does hear tales, however.

 

(Post-revels are a whole other story. [sigh] There was one where I kept finding bottle-tops under sofas and on top of bookcases for a couple of weeks afterwards. And let's not talk about the $12 worth of returnable 5-cent bottles I had to deal with, nor the olive-jar-juice stain on the rug after someone tried to chug a full bottle of olives. I don't give post-revels any more.)

 

Alban

 

 

From: "Jenna" <southwindhall at AOL.COM>

To: CALONTIR at listserv.unl.edu

Sent: Tuesday, July 16, 2013 9:25:26 AM

Subject: Re: [CALONTIR] first time sca event coronation

 

A package of quality toilet paper is always appreciated.  Food is good, know your recipient though.  A carnivore with freezer space will adore you for bringing a pair of steaks.  A vegan who is having to help store half the food for feast, will not.

 

Upon one occasion I was looking forward so much to crashing with the owners dog that I found out their preferences and brought a bag of nice dog food.

 

Jenna

 

 

From: Lady Lisette <lady__lisette at HOTMAIL.COM>

Subject: Re: [CALONTIR] first time sca event coronation

Date: July 16, 2013 9:04:30 AM CDT

To: CALONTIR at listserv.unl.edu

 

I once woke up on a Sunday morning to hear a lawn mower running awfully close to my bedroom window.  I peeked out to find one of my crashers getting my mowing done for me.  I have a teeny yard but it's a chore I truly hate to do.  Took the young man all of 15 minutes to finish but it was so appreciated.  I ran out and got bacon for breakfast.

Lisette

 

 

From: MsTree <baine at WINDSTREAM.NET>

Subject: Re: [CALONTIR] first time sca event coronation

Date: July 22, 2013 10:51:11 AM CDT

To: CALONTIR at listserv.unl.edu

 

I usually bring some kind of chocolate with me as a gift for my hosts. If I have any baked, a dozen PG-13s work nicely. Otherwise, I’ll pick up an inexpensive box of Russell Stover or something that comes wrapped in a bag like Hershey Kisses. ^_^

Baine

 

From: Mistress Hertha Blair of Froggestow <bertlaud at COMCAST.NET>

Subject: Re: [CALONTIR] first time sca event coronation

Date: July 28, 2013 10:26:13 PM CDT

To: CALONTIR at listserv.unl.edu

 

When Chidiock & I were traveling, we often treated our hosts to brunch on Sunday morning after the event.

Hertha

 

<the end>



Formatting copyright © Mark S. Harris (THLord Stefan li Rous).
All other copyrights are property of the original article and message authors.

Comments to the Editor: stefan at florilegium.org