DV-Bld-o-Hros-art - 3/13/11
A dog's viewpoint review of the October 1999 Grimfells "Blood of Heros" event in the Kingdom of Calontir, from Rocket the Idiot Whippet, one of Baroness Jenna of Southwind's pack. And additional comments by 'Princess' Cricket, Delta Female.
This article was submitted to me by the author for inclusion in this set of files, called Stefan's Florilegium.
These files are available on the Internet at: http://www.florilegium.org
Copyright to the contents of this file remains with the author or translator.
While the author will likely give permission for this work to be reprinted in SCA type publications, please check with the author first or check for any permissions granted at the end of this file.
Mark S. Harris...AKA:..Stefan li Rous
stefan at florilegium.org
by Baroness Jenna of SouthWind, OP
Blood of Heroes
Shire-March of the Grimfells, Calontir
University of Arkansas, Fayetteville, Equine Pavilion
October 23, 1999
Mommy Finola and Jenna and Cricket and Ruby and me drove down from SouthWind Hall on Friday. It was a long drive and my bladder was as full as my stomach was empty by the time we finally figured out how to get to our motel. We dined very inadequately on AQ chicken and mashed potatoes and gravy and rolls and canned dog food on dry. I don't know how we managed to sleep with such empty tummies. Ruby tried to supplement her feeds with bug hunting but Jenna was very selfish and would not let anyone eat the scorpion that dropped off the lightbulb in the bathroom onto Jenna's lap. The rest of us went to bed exhausted from the trip but Jenna had a hard time sleeping. I do not know why.
The next day we put on our harnesses and I wore my lovely fun-fur coat because it was very crisp out. I do not like cold. We got to the site which was amazing. In a big building that was very noisy were bunches of cold hard metal seats on cold hard concrete risers, around a field of rather funny dirt. It was supposedly a horse arena but it did not smell like horses at all. I've heard stories about arenas but there was no gum under the seats -- this might be because Marcus says the site had never been used 'for its intended purpose.' I wonder what the intended purpose is.
Jenna put a comforter in one of the cold hard metal seats for me, and another comforter on the cold hard concrete floor for Cricket and Ruby. Ruby preferred to be held. Jenna was very selfish and went away several times to talk to people. Sometimes people came to talk to us, but unless I can play Chase I'm not too interested.
Out in the arena people in wonderful stinky clothes ran around a lot. They would start in a circle of white -- my favorite color -- and would try to put a white thing onto a traffic cone. Some of the people wore matching outfits, like the bunch in white tabards with red splashed on them. There were some people from somewhere far who were called the Trouts even though they did not smell like fish at all; they had outfits of black with white on them, and on the back were their names and numbers. Somebody said the numbers were their IQ's. The numbers were not very high. They also had paint on their faces. The paint on the one named Loki reminded me of somebody I once saw on the TV wrestling show.
There was music and announcements on a speaker overhead. It was kinda loud. The whole arena was loud, even the lobby where there were no speakers and no people hitting each other with sticks. And the funny dirt in the arena wound up in my sensitive nose. But it was an OK place, I guess, except for the terrible cold hard floor and seats. There were no sofas at all or I would have found one and sat on it.
During the afternoon a nice pair of people with pointy hats went out into the dirt, and lots of people and Jenna and Ruby went too. I stayed in my nice padded seat. Out in the arena Odo and Jack of Tanyard were made Fyrds, and jumped on by their entire pack. Later in the afternoon Maalak, who has even less hair than I do, grabbed a folding chair and ran out and did things like I saw on the TV wrestling show once.
Jenna and Mommy Finola took us for a couple of walkies around the building. Their grass is not dead like at home, so we all had a little snack, esp the girls. Around the back of the building was a big fence and a funny smell. We got quite close before I realized that inside the fence was COWS.
Cows are much bigger than I thought. I could also tell that despite their harmless appearance and friendly demeanor, these Cows were not nice. I told my humans this, and tried to be as insistent as possible. I remembered stories about the Cows that licked the wax off my human's car and stuck their heads in the open windows to drool on the leather seats, and I knew that these Cows were of the same malign breed. Jenna would not listen to me, and even tried to force me closer to the evil creatures, but I finally convinced her that we should go far away as soon as possible. My Daddy Rick will be proud to hear that I protected the rest of the pack.
Midday they ended the tournament, and just hit each other for fun. It looked like more fun then. I should have liked to play Chase with the fighters, but I had gotten no nap and barely enough food to stay alive, and could not have mustered the energy. The lady in the pointy hat and the lady with her, shared bits of their lunch with us which kept me from fainting away, and I am very grateful.
The nice man and lady then had us all sit together in the lobby, and the Loki and his pup Martino sat in front too. The Loki still had some black stuff around his eyes. I thought it reminded me of a coon, but Jenna said something about Ozzie Osborne. I saw him once on TV and the Loki is much thinner and is a shorthair. The Loki said he was supposed to look like Rudolph Valentino -- I do not know what that is. The Loki and his pup gave presents and got presents from the nice man and lady in the pointy hats. Then the nice man and lady gave things to people. Malaak who has no hair got an award for costuming. I think my jacket looked much nicer than what Malaak had on, personally. Afterwards Jenna got the cooler and Cian who is large and Marcus who is Tallie's human cooked meat. I thought we three thin, thin, starving dogs would starve before our humans FINALLY sat us down on a comforter and began to feed us our steak and buttered potato and tapioca.
Some of the other humans ate steak, and some went away, and some sat in the lobby and ate things that I have never smelled before. Before they began to eat Kaz who is Snorri's human gave each one a shot glass and filled it with something that smelled like the paint thinner in the basement. Then the handsome man that I've met before stood up and said nice things and they all drank the paint thinner but nobody died -- I've always been told you die if you drink paint thinner so it must have been something else. Mommy Finola called it vodka and it must be dreadful stuff because she said the very thought of drinking it made her want to hurl.
After we had finished eating barely enough food to keep body and soul together, Jenna packed the car and we went back to the motel. She was going to go away somewhere else for a while and we were so tired we didn't care. Then she decided to stay, maybe because no more scorpions fell from the ceiling in the bathroom. We slept and slept and slept. Then we came home, sleeping most of the way. Once home, we've settled down for some naps.
I liked the whole thing very much, except for the evil Cows, and not getting to play Chase, and being kept on starvation rations all weekend. I heard that some people would like to improve the event. I think they should make all the evil Cows into hamburger, and serve them well done. Also there should be plenty of off-leash dogs to play Chase with, and some nice, warm sofas to sit on.
Rocket the Idiot Whippet
official jerky taste-tester to the Calontir Army
Event Report on Blood of Heroes, 1999
by 'Princess' Cricket, Delta Female SouthWind Hall Pack
I feel I must add just a little to Bottom Dog's report on the event. I felt the temperature in the hall was fine, and if Rocket would see fit to grow himself a decent coat of fur he would agree with me. I do love a cool-not-cold day with bright sun and a breeze with fascinating scents.
I do not like to climb stairs, and I wish to thank Duchess Susannah for carrying me up the stairs in the bleachers. I also wish to thank everyone who came and petted me, particularly the little boy who let me kiss him and stick my tongue up his nose. He was a very well-mannered child. I do greatly regret that of some 150 or so people on site, I only got to meet a couple of dozen. As to the rest of you -- where are your manners!? I desired greatly to kiss every single one of you.
Only the ability to kiss everyone, and the addition of trees full of squirrels that drop from the sky, could have made this event any better. Indeed, I tried my best to stay longer, plopping down in the parking lot and refusing to move even when dragged. I would have thought this hint adequate, esp when I rolled onto my side to express my contentment with the site, but Mommy just picked me up and put me in the car. *sigh*
Will Grimfells have an event in the spring again? I rather liked the site with the river. I must admit, I like almost any site, as long as there are lots of people there I can kiss.
"Someday, you will be in tongues' reach.”
Copyright 1999 by Janice R. Gaulke, 9114 W 100th Terr Overland Park, KS 66212-4117. <JennaSW at aol.com>. Permission is granted for republication in SCA-related publications, provided the author is credited. Addresses change, but a reasonable attempt should be made to ensure that the author is notified of the publication and if possible receives a copy.
If this article is reprinted in a publication, I would appreciate a notice in the publication that you found this article in the Florilegium. I would also appreciate an email to myself, so that I can track which articles are being reprinted. Thanks. -Stefan.